He invited me over to cook at his place (2nd meet up)

[KilaK]

I’m an assistant manager at a popular clothing store in my city. About a month ago before we got shut down due to COVID-19 a guy walks in asking for help to find a nice shirt for his sisters graduation. 

 

So i helped him... once i helped him find a shirt he saw the selection of clothes we had and ended up staying in the store for an hour shopping and picking through clothes.

 

I helped him find spring clothes and shoes etc. while helping him he was a little flirtatious with me and i ended up ringing his purchase up and we exchanged numbers. A week after exchanging numbers he finally texts me and acknowledges who he was and from that day he’s texted me almost everyday. 

 

We met up about 3 weeks Ago at a park we sat in my car and talked for 3 hours and he told me he had to go around 1am. Before he got out of my car he asked me how did i feel about him so far then he asked would i be willing to hang out again.

 

Ever since the car meet up he’s been begging for me to come spend time with him. He even asked did i want him to pick me up from my place. But I’ve been distant. I wasn’t really feeling a connection after we met up at at the park. 

He was really talkative but he mainly talked about his kids in the car so i didn’t really find him interesting. But he’s been consistent on texting me daily and asking me out. even though i rarely text back and i haven’t been giving him the time of day Today he asked me “well when are you going to stop being scared and let me get to know you, you’re treating me like end bread” I texted back “what do you mean by I’m treating you like end bread?” 
 

And he said “no one likes the last slice of bread .. i call that end bread or the first piece of bread... i want to be treated like a croissant or a buttery biscuit”

 

And i responded “lol that’s funny and cute” Him: “ Im cooking tomorrow and i rarely cook but can you come over ? I’ll come and pick you up if you don’t want to drive. Me: yeah i can come I’ll drive myself thanks. And he responded “okay i normally eat around 7-8 so anything around that time will be perfect

 

TL:DR; is he inviting me over for sex ? I don’t mind coming over for a warm meal and to watch a movie but i rarely go over makes houses they normally come to mine if we even get that far

[poppyfields]

Yes of course he wants sex.  Question is, is that "all" he wants and he may not even know the answer himself until "after" sex.  Just the way it is for "some" men.

That said, I would not advise going to his at this extremely early stage of the game.

You are placing yourself in a very precarious and even potentially dangerous situation by doing that.  I hope you're aware of that. 

Not to sound like an alarmist, but this is how 75% of date rapes occur. 

You literally know nothing about him other than his sexual hormones are in overdrive and the only thing he's thinking about right now is the fastest way to get you into bed.

Just curious, but do you live in a part of the world where lockdowns and social distancing aren't being enforced?  

 

Edited April 22, 2020 by poppyfields

[lurker74]

Not to sound preachy but during Covid? Nah. You're not into him. Now, sometimes when the other person tries really hard, it's so flattering that we fall into a relationship of some sort. But that rarely lasts. I'd say text him back and thank him for the offer but that you weren't really feeling like there was a connection when you met and that you wish him all the luck. If he gets angry, and for some reason he sounds like the type that may get angry, block him. Then make sure to tell your manager/co-workers that if this person comes in, you need to be in back until he leaves.

[normal person]

2 hours ago, KilaK said:

I wasn’t really feeling a connection after we met up at at the park. 

I'm confused, if you weren't feeling a connection, why are you still talking to him and considering going to his place? 

Also, how can you go to his house during quarantine? 

[rjc149]

Asking you if you like him, daily texting, getting frustrated with you, inviting you to his place for a 2nd date... not good signs.

A dinner date at his place or yours occurs after you are already dating (5+ dates) and have already had sex a few times, IMO. 

Put the logistics of quarantine aside for a second. Honestly, his frustrated reaction at your ambivalence toward him should be a giant, blinking warning light. He's needy and manipulative. And he wants you, a woman he just met and barely knows, alone in his house with him. 

If you take him up on his offer and go to his house, he will have expectations. When you don't meet them, expect an even more frustrated reaction. Be careful. 

[preraph]

Yes.  He definitely hopes you'll have sex.  All you have done is sit in the car with this guy.  Don't go over to his home!  

[JTSW]

You shouldnt be going anywhere or meeting dates.

Stay inside and have some respect for the rules and peoples lives.

[simpycurious]

I wouldn't go for sure but maybe he is an aspiring cook and is looking for you to critic is latest culinary delight. Of course, this could be wrong.

[smackie9]

If you are not that into him, why are you still talking to him? Be frank with the guy and tell him you don't feel this is going to work, or you don't feel a connection. This guy wants to date you....stop leading him on.

Edited April 22, 2020 by smackie9

[Lorenza]

Tell him yes, and then show up wearing a respirator with a face shield, rubber gloves and protective clothes. Ask him to keep a safe 1 m distance while cooking. You'll both be safe from Covid aaand he will get the hint that sex is out if question. Problem solved! 

Edited April 22, 2020 by Lorenza

[preraph]

Lorenza, pure genius!

[simpycurious]

33 minutes ago, Lorenza said:

Tell him yes, and then show up wearing a respirator with a face shield, rubber gloves and protective clothes. Ask him to keep a safe 1 m distance while cooking. You'll both be safe from Covid aaand he will get the hint that sex is out if question. Problem solved! 

That is an impressive post.  Also, tell him you have a high temp and that you have been coughing a lot but other than that you are TOTALLY FINE. 

[Malin889]

I agree with the others, you shouldn't go to a strangers house. You shouldn't go to a stranger's house during the pandemic. And if you are not interested, don't let him push you into coming over. I don't like how he keeps saying he'll come pick you up. He's pushing too hard and I don't like it. Does he know where you live? Also why were you in the car with him on the first date until 1:00 am? Did anything happen in the car to lead him to think that you are going to hook up with him? 

If you don't like him, just blow him off or tell him you are not interested. If you do like him, tell him you'd prefer to wait until after the pandemic is over for you guys to get together. No one should be pushing you to date them. 

[KilaK]

Yes we met at Starbucks grabbed some dessert and we sat in my car and talked all night ... that’s about it .. he talked about his children the whole time we were in the car that’s why i wanted to give him a second chance to see if he’d open up about himself. We never kissed or hugged

Edited April 22, 2020 by KilaK

[Emilie Jolie]

It's one of 3 things:

- loneliness

- desperation

- pro-level PUArtistry.

 

Does any of this sound tempting to you? You do what you want; I personally would not go, even if the guy was cooking a four-course Michelin star meal.

[Juha]

 

Sounds like a booty call date to me

 

That may not be all he wants but usually anytime a guy invites you to his house on the 2nd date

sex is on the table from his point of view.

[Gr8fuln2020]

11 hours ago, normal person said:

I'm confused, if you weren't feeling a connection, why are you still talking to him and considering going to his place? 

Also, how can you go to his house during quarantine? 

I am so puzzled by the OP's curiosity. SHE is not into him and she is wondering whether an invite to a stranger's apartment, during COVID, is sex-related or not???

He wants sex. You are not interested in him. Why are continuing with this communication? Attention?

Edited April 23, 2020 by Gr8fuln2020

[Malin889]

20 hours ago, Gr8fuln2020 said:

I am so puzzled by the OP's curiosity. SHE is not into him and she is wondering whether an invite to a stranger's apartment, during COVID, is sex-related or not???

He wants sex. You are not interested in him. Why are continuing with this communication? Attention?

Yes, after her answer above, saying he only talked about his kids and she was wondering if he'd open up about himself, I was confused. I thought she wasn't interested so I'm not sure why she's doing this. Perhaps boredom? I think a lot of people are bored these days. 

[OatsAndHall]

His perceived intentions aside, no don't go over there; you're not into him. As an aside, there are plenty of guys who have no issue with cooking a meal, watching a movie and leaving sex out of it.

[poppyfields]

I'm surprised no one has mentioned this, but 75% or more of date rapes occur by doing what you did OP - inviting what amounts to a stranger into your home on first or second date. 

I literally cringed when reading after your no, he continued to push himself on you.

And the only reason he stopped is after you answered his question that you're not on birth control.

Thank god you answered that way, I shudder to think what would have happened if you had answered differently, given how hard he was trying to force himself on you after your NO.

Not here to lecture you OP but it would behoove you to educate yourself about such things, they're very real.

Become more aware.

Edited April 24, 2020 by poppyfields

[princessaurora]

2 hours ago, OatsAndHall said:

His perceived intentions aside, no don't go over there; you're not into him. As an aside, there are plenty of guys who have no issue with cooking a meal, watching a movie and leaving sex out of it.

While I agree this could be a dangerous situation, there are plenty of times I have gone to a guy''s house for a dinner  date and haven't had sex. It doesnt always equate to that like OatsandHall said. Plus he didnt make any  moves on you in the car,  so he doesnt sound too physically  forward to me. With most decent men, a woman can easily set the tone and boundaries for a date, regardless where she is. But, you don't  know what kind of man he is , and you dont know what he's capable of behind closed doors, so in this situation, it''s a definite no. Now, being that going to a restaurant or movie isn't an option right now, it makes sense why he would suggest making dinner, so I dont think we should assume he's a sexual predator. And if he's a single dad with kids, he may just be really excited he found someone he clicked with and want to spend more time with you. I know you said he wasn't interesting to talk to because all he talked about was his kids, but are you attracted to him? It's possible he didn't know what else to talk about or was just nervous if he hasn't dated in awhile. If you are attracted to him and want to give it another try, just wait till it's safe to go in public again and go out somewhere with him. If not, just tell him you're not really looking to date right now and then block him. 

[poppyfields]

8 minutes ago, princessaurora said:

I'm confused by this. I never saw anything about him going to her place in this discussion. All I saw was that they met in the car. Did I miss something? 

I'm sorry my bad!  I was mixing this thread up with another similar thread where the OP did invite him over and he forced himself.

Please disregard, maybe I need a break. 

[Gr8fuln2020]

Delete please. 

Edited April 24, 2020 by Gr8fuln2020

[poppyfields]

1 minute ago, Gr8fuln2020 said:

This is a HUGE detail to have missed in this thread! Is there another thread regarding this same guy with this same poster? Or did I really miss something here???

See my last post and apologies!  I did mix threads up. 

[Gr8fuln2020]

1 minute ago, poppyfields said:

See my last post and apologies!  I did mix threads up. 

I saw it. I changed my post to delete please.