Merin Posted October 12, 2005 Posted October 12, 2005 Well I'm a single Mom to 2 Little people AND my BF is a single Dad to 2 Little People... This hasn't been an issue. I've also dated Guys who didn't have any Kiddo's of their own and it still wasn't an issue... My BF and I have rockin sex, I love his kid's, he loves mine and niether one of our EX's have been a factor in our relationship. Maybe we don't have a "Typical" relationship where Kids are involved but IME this hasn't been an issue.
Sevenmack Posted October 16, 2005 Posted October 16, 2005 Having grown up in a single parent household, the idea of dating a single mom isn't for me. The problem isn't the kids; they may at times be resentful because they are getting the short end of the stick since their parents have either split up or were never together in the first place; one can understand the resentment of kids in that case, especially when they may have been the center of mom's (or dad's) attention almost all their lives. The issue for me is the 'baby daddy' factor. The possibility of that person causing all sorts of havoc is tremendous because they usually still have that emotional connection with the single parent with whom you're involved (there had to be some real strong ties if he or she were willing to make babies with that person); one has to hope that their isn't any so-called makeup sex between both your date and their baby's daddy. The time issue is even more important: Relationships are difficult enough to form and build when both the guy and girl are single. A single parent then has to also be two parents in one, at least during the week, so that's less time available to build the connections needed to sustain one. Then let's be honest: Naturally, a man or woman hooking up with single parents mayh be, like much human activity, contrary to nature. Remember that the lion kills off the children the lionness had with her previous mate. Why? It's not interested in raising some other lion's kin. One can't help but understand the lion's action on that one; as some have already noted, they don't want to get involved with someone else's kids at the risk of creating their own.
brightflower Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 I don't think people with children are bad. I love children, and have always dreamed of having some of my own. But my parents divorced when I was young, and my childhood was horrible because of it. Both of my parents went on to get with other people who always resented my brother and myself. We were left out in the cold most of the time, and felt unloved and like we were not wanted. Therefore I have no desire to enter an already made family situation, especially since I know I want children, and most men who have been married once already and have had children have a been there, done that mentailty. So they have no desire to have more children, and that in and of itself is evidence that I am not compatiable with someone like that. I am 29 also, and looking for a mate, I don't think it's hard to find a man without children to date if you are open minded. I know for myself I am open to men of all races, and backgrounds. So it hasn't been a challenge finding men to date without children, I just haven't found the "one" for me yet.
Ms. DysFUNction Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 I have shagged several attractive single moms. While I'm horrified that very small people have popped out of them, these women are still hot looking and shag very well. I find it wise to conceal my contempt for their kids. Kids are like real people, but exceptionally small, prone to crying, and speaking funny. Point is I don't mind dating Moms, but wouldn't marry one. It almost sounds like you seek out single moms to date and use their kids as a reason not to commit to them. All uncommunicated to them. Too bad your shag buddies don't know your true feelings. I respect men who've been honest and upfront with me about my children. Know that these women get an underlying feeling that they're being used, word will get around. Karma catches up to you.
Shana Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 Flame me all you want (would not be the first time here) but I would not even consider dating a man with children. I will not enter a relationship which is already twindled in another. If you date someone with children they come with those children and with a Mom or a Dad. If i wanted to have children, they would be my own. I don't feel like my time in the relationship should be taken up by someone elses children. I would not be OK with a mom or dad always lingering in the shadows. I am not one for drama, come second best or anything of the sort. Even if I found my long lost love and we got back together in the future, if he had kids, no matter how nice of a relationship we could have I would nix the idea immediately.
Jlmic1 Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 Dating someone with kids is HARD to say the least. There is a whole list of things that accompany kids that you can't even fathom until youe're in the situation. I always said I would NEVER date a man with kids. Well... I ended up marrying a man with a child, even though I was whole-heartedly against it ( before I met him ) The worst part is the child's mother... she was an absolute horror in the beggining until I stepped in and took care of it. Now there is no contact unless it has to do with the child, because my husband and I refuse to play that game. Everything has been great for about the last year as far as my sd's mother goes. As far as my sd goes, I've loved and adored her from the second I met her and believe me, I'm not a kid person. My advice to single people remains the same as it always has.. Don't date anyone with kids unless there is an absolute certainty that this is the person you were meant to be with, and you can't ever imagine your life without this person. There's ALOT of people out there with kids and you're almost hard pressed to find someone in their late 20's-30's who doesn't have kids. I don't regret my decision because my husband is the best thing to ever happen to me, in a perfect world he wouldn't have had any kids.. but he does and I accept it.
Scott S Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 First, let me say I adore children. When I felt I was ready to start dating again, it was not "OK I'm fine now! Back into the game!!" I had a lot of hurt to get past to reach that point, & doing so was a gradual process. My feeling at the time was that this step was hard enough as it was, & that the dynamics of having someone else (that is, the father) in the picture was more than I cared to deal with at the time. Looking back, I think it would not have been as much of an issue as I feared, however.
CarmenIbanez Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 I have a child. And I'm married. But if I weren't, I would NEVER date someone with kids. In fact, I don't think I would have a relationship at all until my child was grown. Of course, that doesn't mean you can't have sex. Realistically though, the hassle isn't worth the reward. The exes never go away, the children never get enough of your (or their) time. Too much responsibility. I honestly think people with kids jump into relationships too quickly and involve their children too quickly. But that's just my opinion.
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