jaye Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 I think dating people with kids is a big pain in the a$$. No time No Sex i mean not enough. and too much money is involved i call it high maintenance what do you think?
buzzie2 Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 I personally would NEVER date a man who already had children. Being a victom of divorce as a child I saw both parents date other people who had kids and it totally sucked. My parents were always trying to get these kids to like them and in the process I felt ignored. I'm only 27 and eventually want to start my own family, I'm just waiting for the right guy. I've had lots of guys want to date me who had kids and I've always turned them down. The reason? I don't want to have to deal with the ex wife or girlfriend constantly butting into our relationship, and if they had a child together it would be a constant irratation. If that makes me selfish then so be it, but I've just experienced too much BS as a child from my parents relationships.
sweetbrokensoul Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 Well, I think thats a pretty selfish view you have there. But then again, you do have to be mature enough to handle the fact that that is a possiblility. Although, you shouldn't be responsible for anyones kids until that commitment is there and hey the sex? you find time -trust me.
Author jaye Posted October 8, 2005 Author Posted October 8, 2005 Well, I think thats a pretty selfish view you have there. But then again, you do have to be mature enough to handle the fact that that is a possiblility. Although, you shouldn't be responsible for anyones kids until that commitment is there and hey the sex? you find time -trust me. well i do see her point whats with kids its not there issue why do they have to suffer the pain of being lonely?
slubberdegullion Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 Just over a year ago I got involved with a yummy mommy of two boys, ages 4 & 1, and got really attached to the little ones. But the kids were so much of a drain on their mother that she dumped me; she said that by the end of the day she just had no energy left to devote to a relationship. I was pretty choked, because she was an absolute tigress between the sheets. We still see each other, though, and I still hang with the kids even though she and I are no longer intimate.
Author jaye Posted October 8, 2005 Author Posted October 8, 2005 Just over a year ago I got involved with a yummy mommy of two boys, ages 4 & 1, and got really attached to the little ones. But the kids were so much of a drain on their mother that she dumped me; she said that by the end of the day she just had no energy left to devote to a relationship. I was pretty choked, because she was an absolute tigress between the sheets. We still see each other, though, and I still hang with the kids even though she and I are no longer intimate. and poor slubberdegullion is still paying the price of his mistake
sweetbrokensoul Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 I didnt mean to offend anyone-I didnt say it was a bad thing. I just said you should be mature enough to get involved with someone that has kids thats all. Its not bad that you dont want to but you're right its not the kids fault and they should NEVER be left out. Just don't assume you cant give someone a chance because of their kids, you might be in the same boat some day. Smile!
kscholze Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 I dated a girl with a kid, and the only thing I didn't like is the fact that she always said "baby daddy" not very attractive. And the kid lived with her parednts so she could go out and smoke pot and sniff coke
slubberdegullion Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 and poor slubberdegullion is still paying the price of his mistake Well, yes and no. She and I aren't intimate anymore, but I have a really good relationship with the kids that all of us enjoy.
Author jaye Posted October 8, 2005 Author Posted October 8, 2005 Well, yes and no. She and I aren't intimate anymore, but I have a really good relationship with the kids that all of us enjoy. yeah but do you not feel bad after getting dumped you're still buying ice creame to her kids?
slubberdegullion Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 yeah but do you not feel bad after getting dumped you're still buying ice creame to her kids? Not even a bit. It's not between her and I anymore, it's between her kids and I, and that's ok with me. I don't have kids of my own, and their dad is a deadbeat a**h***, so we have a mutually rewarding relationship. And the best part is that when they get out of hand, I give them back to their mum!
Author jaye Posted October 8, 2005 Author Posted October 8, 2005 Not even a bit. It's not between her and I anymore, it's between her kids and I, and that's ok with me. I don't have kids of my own, and their dad is a deadbeat a**h***, so we have a mutually rewarding relationship. And the best part is that when they get out of hand, I give them back to their mum! Now see you are the kinda goodguy i'm talking about in the other post but women don't get it. what a shame
hooghie Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 I have never dated a guy with kids and wouldn't at this point. The thing is, I want my own and I know that I wouldn't be able to treat HIS kids the same as I would MY kids and that wouldn't be fair. If I get too old to have children, I would consider it, but not until mid 40's or later!
NewLee40 Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 Wow, I just LOVE how people generalize and make blanket statements. If you don't want to date someone with children, fine. But, let me tell you THIS single mom is ready for sex at the drop of a hat and have been told I'm damn good at it, too! Too bad, I can't find a decent guy to have it with and the FWB thing doesn't work for me.
Author jaye Posted October 8, 2005 Author Posted October 8, 2005 Wow, I just LOVE how people generalize and make blanket statements. If you don't want to date someone with children, fine. But, let me tell you THIS single mom is ready for sex at the drop of a hat and have been told I'm damn good at it, too! Too bad, I can't find a decent guy to have it with and the FWB thing doesn't work for me. sorry NewLee We are not pickin on single moms or dadies i'm sure there are people out there who prefer nothing but single parents. i'm sure you'll find some, i'm sayin it wont be me though
RecordProducer Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 I think dating people with kids is a big pain in the a$$. what do you think? It can be. It depends on the kids, their age, the parents, and whether you're a kid person. Certainly don't try to pretend that you can accept someone's kids if you can't. In the long run it will hurt all parties. It's more fair to be honest when it comes to your GF's kids. If you don't like/enjoy them at the beginning, you most likely never will. Things become worse with time. So if kids bother you don't date anyone with kids. It's more moral to choose NOT to ruin somebody's life than pretend how sweet and generous you are.
gevoraksix Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 It can be. It depends on the kids, their age, the parents, and whether you're a kid person. Certainly don't try to pretend that you can accept someone's kids if you can't. In the long run it will hurt all parties. It's more fair to be honest when it comes to your GF's kids. If you don't like/enjoy them at the beginning, you most likely never will. Things become worse with time. So if kids bother you don't date anyone with kids. It's more moral to choose NOT to ruin somebody's life than pretend how sweet and generous you are. What she said:D And If you think there a pain ,dont date them. I dont have children ,so If a man had 1 maybe,more then 1child no . I want children someday And if a man has too many already that may take from me,plus it depends on "baby mama". I have a choice in who i date ,i wouldnt let it become"a pain in the A$$,walk away before it gets to that point.
Author jaye Posted October 9, 2005 Author Posted October 9, 2005 What she said:D And If you think there a pain ,dont date them. I dont have children ,so If a man had 1 maybe,more then 1child no . I want children someday And if a man has too many already that may take from me,plus it depends on "baby mama". I have a choice in who i date ,i wouldnt let it become"a pain in the A$$,walk away before it gets to that point. Sure! you do that. let me know how it goes in about a month
gevoraksix Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 Sure! you do that. let me know how it goes in about a month How what goes?
MassiveAtom Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 As a single dad, I've found that so many childless singles have so many preconceived notions about kids, and the fact that I have them, that no matter how good the date, or the interim time, or the sex, they inevitably have the BIGGEST ISSUES!! I've found that single childless women, tend to create a fantasy about the future and it's possibilities, even IF I tell them I don't even want to think about having MORE kids, or even mixing the "two worlds." (I'm sure single parents know to what I'm referring.) I remember though when I was single and had a choice to date childless singles or kidded singles, I always chose the former. I guess it's natural. So I'm not judging anyone for their choices. From the single parent perspective though, Wouldn't it be great if everyone knew what we knew? The REALITY behind parenthood. the difficulties, the frazzled nerves, the CRAP! And maybe thought long and hard about their fantasies...... And what's funny is that sex depends on the people involved. It's just kinda shortsighted IMHO to make blanket statements about it. HA!!! I made a funny! MA just my 2mil
gevoraksix Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 IFrom the single parent perspective though, Wouldn't it be great if everyone knew what we knew? The REALITY behind parenthood. the difficulties, the frazzled nerves, the CRAP! And maybe thought long and hard about their fantasies...... I feel that parenthood is differnt for everyone ,i have divorced friends with children. One has said if she had it to do over again she wouldnt she had 1st 18 unwed,2nd was married at time. One is happy ,never married not with father of child,but it works she says she wouldnt trade her "munchin"for anything,never complaines,and dates a nice guy. I feel children are a choice ,the person who had them. Most young people having children dont put too much thought into who they are having children with ,how they want to raise children,dont plan children they just"happen. I have a right to have a family ,i dont have a fantasy,i know its not a bed of roses . Your reality does not have to be my reality,if i work hard before i have children(as i am),be sure who i have them with,it can work dating isfrazzled nerves and difficulty:D Not everyones view is the same. Back to the dating (sorry)my issue is men who have children usually dont want more,thats fine for them,but not for me ive held off having children . So when i do it it will be right,so if a guy has more then 1child i wont date him ,if he has 1 (iffy if i would even date)if he didnt want more children i would move on,simple . As for dating its not to much differnt then dating anyone else ,its all in what you make it. If you seem to keep getting same types of women/men look at yourself or where your meeting people.
RecordProducer Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 People have issues with children for a reason. It hurts us parents to think that they can be discriminative towards single moms and dads thoguh. I have been on all sides of the fence. I am a divorced parents' child, I married aguy with a kid and I am a single mom of two as well. My step-father molested me. I hated my step-daughter. My BF loves my kids and they love him. The last one is the ideal scenario. Anything less than that is a complete disaster. When I started dating my ex-husband I thought his daughter was a bit annoying. She couldn't spend one minute doing somethin gon her own - she needed attention all the time. Soon enough our marriage was falling apart becaue of her. If you're marrying a single parent, make sure you also want to marry their kids cuz that's what it is. Trust me on this! Never separate the thought of your partner from their child. You must love their children if you are going to live with them. In general, you must love everyone you're going to live with. You can't treat them as room mates who you will never see around.
Gold Pile Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 So if kids bother you don't date anyone with kids. It's more moral to choose NOT to ruin somebody's life than pretend how sweet and generous you are. I have shagged several attractive single moms. While I'm horrified that very small people have popped out of them, these women are still hot looking and shag very well. I find it wise to conceal my contempt for their kids. Kids are like real people, but exceptionally small, prone to crying, and speaking funny. Point is I don't mind dating Moms, but wouldn't marry one.
Cupcake Posted October 9, 2005 Posted October 9, 2005 A lot of people who opposed to getting involved with partners who have kids are the ones who don't have kids themself. I happen to be single without kids. It's not selfish. It's just unfair to me when the other person has children. They are usually the ones with all the excuses, and in control of the relationship. And if I complain, I get accused of being uncaring of the children. My XBF actually used his child as the main reason he couldn't relocate to turn our LDR into a more solid relationship. And alot of our time together was interupted by the child's mother calling to complain about something the child had done that needed my XBF's attention. It's unfair for me to DEAL with his issues because of HIS kids. I don't want the baby's mother to interfere in our relationship, and most of the time, they do. I've dated several men with children. Somehow, the children always interfered with our relationship in a negative way. Here I am free, without children, to do whatever I want. I meet this great guy, and he isn't free because the baggege from a previous relationship (children) are weighing him down. For me, it's easier to commend a guy for being a great father, and move on to someone who is more like myself, childless and free to do whatever they want. Relationships have enough problems without adding innocent children to the equations. Perhaps it would be easier if I had children. Then me and a man with children would have more in common. Otherwise, we are like two different people in two diffrent worlds.
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