basil67 Posted May 1, 2020 Posted May 1, 2020 You're not 'supposed' to do anything about the divorce. You've obviously mentioned it and she said she'd make it a priority. What you do now is wait and see what happens. I wouldn't hold it against her that she hadn't gotten a divorce yet because it obviously wasn't an issue to her - but now she knows it's an issue to you, she will get it done. Regarding her ex coming after her pension - why do you think he's not like that? Have you discussed it with him?
Author Mysterio Posted May 2, 2020 Author Posted May 2, 2020 (edited) 17 hours ago, FMW said: This woman doesn't sound anything like that. If you aren't ok with what you're hearing from her (threesomes, weed, legally still married after several years of separation), then don't proceed. It's always a bad idea to blow through red flags. I'm casting no judgment on her, just pointing out the fact that you don't like all these things make them red flags for you. You seem to be intent on finding a serious relationship (that's great). You can't be too idealistic about what you expect, but at the same time you have to determine what your baseline standards are. Take your time and weigh the information you're learning about her. Don't keep pushing forward at full speed until you're sure that you're ready to deal with what a relationship with her would entail. FMW. When I break her down JD on paper and myself as well. The next man that could be with her would be getting this. Jack your getting a woman that can't have any bio kids at age 51. JD's 3 kids will be with her for at least the next 5 yrs. So when she is 56/57 thats when she will be free Kids wise when they transition to their own lives. Hopefully she will be legally Divorced by then. Currently she is on year 5 or so of being Separated from Hubby #2, who has a new woman and child and he is not striving to get the Divorced. Hubby 2's GF is not putting the pressure on him to get divorced. Otherwise it would have happened by now. She has three boys that are with her 3 to 4 times a week. She does not get along with their father who was Hubby #1 and if there are problems between you. She will go on Radio science. Mysterio is single and in fit shape and getting in better shape. Mysterio has his own Condo and works full time. No kids. Never had kids or marriage. Mysterio does not have a Car, but can borrow his brother's if there is a Weekend Day trip to the Beach if planned. Mysterio will try to work out things with you and there is no Drama. Just getting together and having fun with Interesting Conversations and Laughs and Physical Affection. Edited May 2, 2020 by Mysterio
Author Mysterio Posted May 2, 2020 Author Posted May 2, 2020 (edited) 18 hours ago, basil67 said: You're not 'supposed' to do anything about the divorce. You've obviously mentioned it and she said she'd make it a priority. What you do now is wait and see what happens. I wouldn't hold it against her that she hadn't gotten a divorce yet because it obviously wasn't an issue to her - but now she knows it's an issue to you, she will get it done. Regarding her ex coming after her pension - why do you think he's not like that? Have you discussed it with him? She thinks he will come after her. To me he is from the Caribbean. I don't think he is thinking that. They both were lax at going straight to Divorce and now its going to cost them money and there is no communication between them as much. This is why in the past I have always been hard on just dating while Separated. I found all this out while dating her. I thought she was a twice Divorced woman. She said she was single. Not Separated. I am Single. Childless and Never Married. I am in reality. If she dates after me. She should state that she is a Separated woman with three sons and those sons will be with her for the next 5-6 yrs. Also that she takes Anit Depression meds and is impulsive. That would be more real. Basil. Its not looking good right now. I have given her space. I don't want to have this turbulence on a regular basis. If this is a preview of what its going to be like. I am out. None of my male friends that are with their ladies have this problem at the moment. Everything is fine then everything is upside down. We are just Dating and it should be don On my side. No woman is having any problems with me. I don't have a Car thats the only thing, but if I need to Borrow my Brothers Car on the Weekend I can do so. I don't have a car because mine broke down and was written off yrs ago and I am so close to work that I just take a Bus. I can even walk there in an hour for the exercise if I want to. I also have to get out of the mentality that JD is the only option for me. Perhaps she was put into my life to make it clear that a woman has to be straight towards me. I don't think I can be with a woman that is Separated at the moment. I am really disappointed right now. I will get over it. I thought that things would work out. Edited May 2, 2020 by Mysterio
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted May 3, 2020 Posted May 3, 2020 You would be surprised how common this is... I spoke to 4 women back to back who were still married, living with their husband, but just not together... Its a really unappealing thing as a man who wants a relationship, but a very appealing thing for a dude just looking for sex... I would be careful about her and the types she hangs around.
chillii Posted May 4, 2020 Posted May 4, 2020 On 5/3/2020 at 3:56 AM, Mysterio said: She thinks he will come after her. To me he is from the Caribbean. I don't think he is thinking that. They both were lax at going straight to Divorce and now its going to cost them money and there is no communication between them as much. This is why in the past I have always been hard on just dating while Separated. I found all this out while dating her. I thought she was a twice Divorced woman. She said she was single. Not Separated. I am Single. Childless and Never Married. I am in reality. If she dates after me. She should state that she is a Separated woman with three sons and those sons will be with her for the next 5-6 yrs. Also that she takes Anit Depression meds and is impulsive. That would be more real. Basil. Its not looking good right now. I have given her space. I don't want to have this turbulence on a regular basis. If this is a preview of what its going to be like. I am out. None of my male friends that are with their ladies have this problem at the moment. Everything is fine then everything is upside down. We are just Dating and it should be don On my side. No woman is having any problems with me. I don't have a Car thats the only thing, but if I need to Borrow my Brothers Car on the Weekend I can do so. I don't have a car because mine broke down and was written off yrs ago and I am so close to work that I just take a Bus. I can even walk there in an hour for the exercise if I want to. I also have to get out of the mentality that JD is the only option for me. Perhaps she was put into my life to make it clear that a woman has to be straight towards me. I don't think I can be with a woman that is Separated at the moment. I am really disappointed right now. I will get over it. I thought that things would work out. Nope she's not your only choice not by far. Your a healthy guy in a very good place and with zero past baggage and a very clean slate. You've got every right to expect the same. Gonna be hard finding someone with no kids or ex but that doesn't mean she or her life or her mentality has to be a mess too.
dangerous Posted May 4, 2020 Posted May 4, 2020 (edited) Man, I have been away from this thread since the first page and now I see about the dramas going on and mention of threesomes etc. It's not looking good! my personal experience, my last ex of 2 years, was 55, married twice, and we had a threesome... sound familiar? The ending was that she was very volatile with her mood swings (euphoria/ depression) and is a sex-addict (not in a good way!). With her track record, the speed our relationship moved, and her volatility, she will never change. My advice: keep seeking a woman with a less chequered past, or look at younger women. (I am also a man in my 50's btw). Edited May 4, 2020 by dangerous
Author Mysterio Posted May 4, 2020 Author Posted May 4, 2020 5 hours ago, chillii said: Nope she's not your only choice not by far. Your a healthy guy in a very good place and with zero past baggage and a very clean slate. You've got every right to expect the same. Gonna be hard finding someone with no kids or ex but that doesn't mean she or her life or her mentality has to be a mess too. Thanks for the encouragement Chilli. The window is closing in on JD and I. I just say to myself. She has a lot of things to do in her life that is going to make it hard for the next guy to deal with. The two major things to me are the Separation status and if there are problems. She is going to go on radio silence. I also don't like the Impulsiveness that does not seem to work for her. As harsh as this may say. Have sex and fun. She can't deliver striaghtness on her side. This is just looking at her in the short term. That means another woman can beat her by just being single and straight forward cut and dry. 1
Author Mysterio Posted May 4, 2020 Author Posted May 4, 2020 (edited) 3 hours ago, dangerous said: Man, I have been away from this thread since the first page and now I see about the dramas going on and mention of threesomes etc. It's not looking good! my personal experience, my last ex of 2 years, was 55, married twice, and we had a threesome... sound familiar? The ending was that she was very volatile with her mood swings (euphoria/ depression) and is a sex-addict (not in a good way!). With her track record, the speed our relationship moved, and her volatility, she will never change. My advice: keep seeking a woman with a less chequered past, or look at younger women. (I am also a man in my 50's btw). Dangerous. I hear you. I can't go back, unless there is a cut and dry conversation about the radio silence. She is going to be 55 in the next couple of yrs and if she wants a serious relationship. She has to make major decisions to put her in the right frame of mind and lifestyle. Any woman wanting to be with me. My specs is single/childless/not married/no strife with ex's. Owns Condo. In fit shape and getting better shape. Full time job pretty much. I am a .9 that means I get nine shifts in a pay period. Only blight is that I don't have a car, but I borrow my brothers if I need to do major things. I am not Mr. Wild. I don't want to do coke or weed or threesomes. I have no interest in that. I want a girl next door type. Kind of like the roles Sandra Bulloch plays int he movies. No major wildness. Edited May 4, 2020 by Mysterio
basil67 Posted May 4, 2020 Posted May 4, 2020 (edited) 51 minutes ago, Mysterio said: Dangerous. I hear you. I can't go back, unless there is a cut and dry conversation about the radio silence. She is going to be 55 in the next couple of yrs and if she wants a serious relationship. She has to make major decisions to put her in the right frame of mind and lifestyle. To be fair, she doesn't have to do any of these things. Plenty of serious relationships have a bit of chaos, weed, non-vanilla sex and don't care about previous marital status. There will be a guy who's up for her wild edge - it's just not you. Edited May 4, 2020 by basil67
Author Mysterio Posted May 5, 2020 Author Posted May 5, 2020 (edited) Basil. She wants the LTR. So far from what I have been exposed to. She does not present herself that way. She was locked down with Hubby 1 for almost 20 yrs. She has been divorced for 10 yrs from Hubby 1. She is on year 5 at least, Separated from Hubby 2. Its not so much the Weed/Threesomes that bother me so much. Its the radio silence. I think she needs to burn through her fantasies. Why not have no strings attached. That way she is honest. I might as well ask her if she wants an open relationship. I don't need that for myself. At age 49. I don't know why, that I don't personally want to sleep with dozens of women. I just want one. Yet that one has to offer me a lot of Interesting Conversations and Laughs/Physical Affection to keep me invested in her. Edited May 5, 2020 by Mysterio
basil67 Posted May 5, 2020 Posted May 5, 2020 (edited) 52 minutes ago, Mysterio said: Basil. She wants the LTR. So far from what I have been exposed to. She does not present herself that way. Sure, her approach doesn't attract you for a LTR, but there are guys who like to get 'creative' in the bedroom, are happy with a bit of weed and to whom marriage is not significant. She doesn't need to do no strings attached because she'll find a guy who's up for what she wants. The radio silence is likely just her moving on because she recognises that you are not a match for her. Edited May 5, 2020 by basil67
Author Mysterio Posted May 5, 2020 Author Posted May 5, 2020 Thats fine for her. I am in a different head space. I want the classic girl next door type. My friend MK has that with his wife. I just think that if you want loose, then present yourself that way from the start. Like I want Healthy living lifestyle. No drugs/threesomes for me. Not at age 49. For me my vibe is. Get to know each other through conversation and social/recreational activities. By the way. It was JD that wanted to connect with me first. I just wish she had stated that she was separated. Then I would have know the mindset. I don't know why Separated women can't get divorced. My friend DB got told in 2008 that his wife was on Anti Depression drugs, which he did not know and that she wanted a divorce and he got it all wrapped up in 2009. She then had 2 other kids in 2009-Twins. Then left that guy in 2010. I don't know whats going on these days. Its like the average person should Vet for a long time, before marriage/cohab.
basil67 Posted June 9, 2020 Posted June 9, 2020 (edited) Quote Thats fine for her. I am in a different head space. I want the classic girl next door type. My friend MK has that with his wife. I just think that if you want loose, then present yourself that way from the start. Like I want Healthy living lifestyle. No drugs/threesomes for me. Not at age 49. For me my vibe is. Get to know each other through conversation and social/recreational activities. By the way. It was JD that wanted to connect with me first. I just wish she had stated that she was separated. Then I would have know the mindset. I don't know why Separated women can't get divorced. My friend DB got told in 2008 that his wife was on Anti Depression drugs, which he did not know and that she wanted a divorce and he got it all wrapped up in 2009. She then had 2 other kids in 2009-Twins. Then left that guy in 2010. I don't know whats going on these days. Its like the average person should Vet for a long time, before marriage/cohab. This is the last thing you wrote about her. You were adamant that she was not the type of woman you see in your future. Perhaps re-read your old thread to remind yourself of how you felt then. Edited June 9, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Phallacy Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 No offense dude but you’re way too invested. Also, the way you describe yourself and her is one of my biggest pet peeves with dating - it’s so plastic. You own a condo, she has 2 exes and on meds. The whole thing lacks depth and you sound like your quickly trying to create a map to a destination. SLOW DOWN
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