Fast and Furious Dating

[Mysterio]

Met JD on Tinder April 6.  She asked for us to Vid Chat/talk on the phone April 7.  We talked/Vid Chat/Text at least 22 times before we met in person.  She came to my place April 16.  We went to pick up food at Boston Pizza/Dollar store.  Then went back to my place.  We ate and then we were supposed to watch Ocean's 11 on DVD.  Before that we went into my bed room and somehow stayed in there, imbraced and made love on and off from basically 7pm to 9 am.  We talk a lot as well as the physical.  We seem to really gel.  Putting all the women in my life in a row and incuding JD.  She blows them all away.  Its like for once.  I have what I have always wanted.  A woman that is focussed into me romantically.

Specs on JD.  She has three kids by the same father and she is divorced.  Son #1 is 21 turning 22.  SOn 2/3 are twins 16 turning 17.  They live with their father M-Thurs.  Then with Ma JD F-Sun. JD is seperated from her second husband, who is with another woman and he has a child with that woman.  They are not getting back together.  All they have to do is finalize the Divorce.  

Whats your vibe while reading this.  Is this too good to be true.  Our Physical Chemistry and personal connection is ver strong.  I have never had this happen to me before.  I can't see myself really trying to look around.  Another thing as well.  She has told me she takes Anti Depression Meds as well.  She has a stable job.  Are there any Red Flags I should look out for?  She is very sweet and complementary to me at all times.  

If we were to be BF/GF.  How long should we wait to make that happen?  

[CLS63AMG]

Do you have children as well?

[smackie9]

The only red flag I see is you. You barely know this woman and you are already obsessing, pretty much calling her your soul mate after having  sex. See what I’m getting at? Slow down and approach this with a clear perspective. Keep your feelings in check and take your time. 

[Mysterio]

I don't have kids.  We are not soulmates.  I will slow down.  I just wanted some perspective.  My parents met in summer of 1968 and married in Nov of 1969.  Some people just know.  JD is 51.  I am 49.   No Cohabing or Marriage at all at the moment.  

Just feeling my way through this.

Edited April 20, 2020 by Mysterio

[chillii]

Haaa big comgrats , really nice to hear. Funny for you from stuff you usually say though, think it was you , ending up in the sack so fast. But l dunno , no ones perfect ,. there's always stuff , but all good even better so far so why not just enjoy it and see what happens if you love it so far. lt's just about time together , things might come out along the way , or they won't/ . lf she's on anti depressants she could be up and down a lot or worse too butttt, time'll tell , she might not be too.

Good luck with it though man.

Edited April 20, 2020 by chillii

[basil67]

My vibe:  I'm so excited to hear that you broke your own rules and it's so far worked out well for you.   That said, it's early days and could go either way at this stage, but it's a damn good start.

Go you!

[Mysterio]

Thank you for the support.  She is coming over on Tuesday.  I will keep you posted.

[dangerous]

err no mention or respect for covid/ social distancing.

Edited April 20, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[smackie9]

You can't compare your parents because it was a much different time, values were different, expectations were different. They were young and didn't have baggage. She's been through 2 marriages....rather than think far ahead, live in the moment and enjoy the experience of getting to know one another.

[Lotsgoingon]

One night of good sex and talk ... dude, means nothing. You're just on a high right now--literally chemicals are shooting through your body. 

Hang with her (be careful of course during this time) for two months ... and then ask this question.  She has a complicated family situation, so you can only see over time if that works for you. Everytime I've fallen hard for someone on one meeting ... usually that meant I was just infatuated. I mean, you wanna like someone, and like them a lot on first meeting, but the depth of feeling you're reporting here---of being deeply understood--well ... you need more data to reach that conclusion. 

 

Edited April 20, 2020 by Lotsgoingon

[preraph]

Why haven't her and her 2nd husband just signed the divorce papers yet?  It's like $150 if both agree.  

[Mysterio]

3 hours ago, preraph said:

Why haven't her and her 2nd husband just signed the divorce papers yet?  It's like $150 if both agree.  

Thats a good question that will be asked in the near future.  I think she is worried about the 2nd ex messing up her pension.  I know that the sex thing is buzzing around in my head.  There is no rush to make her my GF.  The main bagage to me is that she is still legally tied to the 2nd ex.  Second ex was more like a rebound when she took a trip to the Caribbean and got mixed up with him.  Thats on her and she owns it.  

I guess for me in the short term.  I get the Interesting Conversations and Laughs and the Physical affection that I don't feel like I am working it.  I guess all the video chats sped things up, so that when we got together, the making out/making love just naturally came out of us on our first meet within an hour and a half.  I have never had it flow that well with other women for the most part.

Things I am not going to do.  No Cohabing until she is Divorced from Second Hubby.  No Marriage proposal until we have been together at least 2 yrs after that if that at all.  The kids I don't see as a problem, as I have yet to meet them.  I don't think I would until June/July at the earliest.  Like she won't meet my parents/brother until then.  Basically until Covid subsides, which is being projected as June/July.

For me just in terms of romantic conection.  We just click.  I don't think its both of us putting on an act with each other.  Her actions towards me like calling me Handsome/Sexy and all sorts of loving verbal words to me is delightful.  Although I have been more single than paired up from 20 to 49.  I love what JD and I are having.  I love that she kisses me, without me having to coax it out of her.  That she is super affectionate.  Right from the time we got together to when she left my place.  Rarely did I feel like she needed space.  Always basically next to me.  AS we go along.  I expect that to shift slightly.  I also loved that she loves physical affection and states that she wants that from me.  

My problem has never been a lonliness problem.  More of lack of desire from the dating pool towards me.  I do find that when the woman is into me more.  Things move more smoothly. Its was JD that asked for us to talk on the phone/vid chat and meet sooner.  I was supposed to meet her this Thursday, but we bumped it up to last Thursday.  So my meeting her soon is more her idea.  

[Mysterio]

I think the reason for the second husband, who has a child with his new woman.  He is a bit aloof and I guess it does not matter to him.  Its almost like his Baby Mama is not making any demands on him to get divorced from JD.

[preraph]

What do you mean by "pension"?

[Mysterio]

She said something like Second hubby could come after her pension.  So that is money for when she retires, unless I miss understood.  I will ask her again.  She made it sound like she would have to pay for it all.  

[Miss Spider]

It sounds really nice to me so far, mysterio. And I have to admit this post really uplifted me after following so many of your posts over the years. I'm so happy you found someone you like!!! You give me hope lol. To answer you query, the right time is whenever you both are ready. I don't think there is a too soon in regards to that

[chillii]

The thing is , 40's . 50's , people have lived , there's usually ex's and kids life and damage , near impossible not at that age, to me it's about the person we are now, she is , l am , where we're at ,  still sane . lf it's all there though between you and nothings screaming at you not to, that's the thing, then all you can do is try, enjoy , get to know her better, you, take the risk.lf it turns to shyt well , it's gonna hurt but you tried.

 

Edited April 20, 2020 by chillii

[Mysterio]

Technically nothing can hurt me.  She has had her three kids.  I can't see her wanting anymore or between us.  No Marriage or living together until she gets that Divorce.  There really is no risk at 51/49.  Just spending out time together.  She told me that her major thing now is her kids and me.  So I can't see not getting along with her kids.  I don't expect to meet them until June/July.  

[K.K.]

Congratulations Mysterio!  

I’ve followed your posts as well and this is really great to hear. I remember your threads where you were trying to figure out what exactly you wanted in a woman and how to get it. You obviously did the work to make this happen. 

Try not to overthink it, just enjoy it. It all sounds good so far. 

Have you had sex with her other than the first night? Make sure you put it on her really good the next chance you get. She’s already twirling on the line. Gotta get that hook in her really good before you try to toss her in the bucket. 

[Fletch Lives]

Anti depression meds and a married woman are red flags.

And don't count on a relationship for two months.

 

[ThorntonMelon]

Quote

If we were to be BF/GF.  How long should we wait to make that happen?  

My recommendation on this is to just tell her that you know it's very early but that you'd like her to know you aren't going to date anyone else and you're shutting off your dating sites while you guys get to know each other. You don't ask her to do anything. If she responds in kind then you're on the same page. If she doesn't, you know you need to slow it down in your own mind. 

You don't have to worry about being too much on this - no one that is really into another person ever gets turned off at being told they want to be exclusive. 

[Mysterio]

Time to address some things.  

I asked her about the Divorce.  She says she is going to make it a priority.  The problem is that she either has to pay for all of it out right, or go halfers with Ex 2.  Ex 2 is with a new woman and that woman he has a kid with.  So I don't see why when she contacts him about the Divorce.  Why he would be resistant to the Divorce.  I wonder he is not trying to contact her to get Divorced and his new woman would want that too.  So I guess I could ask for more detail.  At least she did not keep it from me.  

The kids are basically turning 17 for the twins and 22 for the other one.  All Sons.  I have yet to meet them.  I don't want to until June/July at the earliest.

The Anti Depressant drug is from the post partum and it keeps her steady.  I can't see her going off and I don't sense any thing off with her.  Other than a semi hard life with the Ex's.  She has a stable job at one of our Universities.  I can't sense anything really off so far.  So unless I don't get along with the kids.  Which I can't see.  I don't think that there will be problems.  I just have to see how the next couple of months go.  We won't be having kids or live together until she is legally Divorced.  So thats a year away.  I was disappointed that she was still legally attached with her ex.  She is not the only one like that.  My buddy's GF, CF.  Who can't get divorced and its been 10 yrs for her.  I don't know why getting Divorced is so hard now a days.  

 

How she treats me is this.  She is very complementary towards me.  She always gives me hugs/kisses/making out and making love.  It just flows naturally between us.  She made me breakfast at my Condo and made up the bed.  We always  have lots to talk about.  My life has not been as extreem as hers been.  But at almost 52.  Who's life has been straight forward cut and dry.  She did admit to me that 2nd Husband was a mistake to Marry.  She is a Romantic.  Got carried away with meeting him and all that jazz in the Caribbean.  

My take is that she is Sweet, and attracted to me beyond a fling and she closed her Tinder account.  On my side.  I treat her well, but I am not used to this level of Romantic attention.  For the first time in my life.  It feels like in this area.  My dreams have come true in the short term.  Can we keep it up.  Thats the question I keep asking myself.  

[chillii]

Could be ex hasn't got the money for the d so he avoids it.

The rest , it's just time , time tells all no need to ask yourself yet, if it seems what you want and your game to try , then just go with it and enjoy and see what time brings. Good luck anyway

[Gr8fuln2020]

On 4/21/2020 at 5:40 AM, Fletch Lives said:

Anti depression meds and a married woman are red flags.

And don't count on a relationship for two months.

Seriously. She isn't divorced and she is on anti-depressants. I suspect from some of the other posters that you have had a tough time. I wish you well, but are you now to the point where you are going after married and depressed people w/o a hoot of concern? As some others have suggested, SLOW DOWN. This lady is not your gf yet, you still have a lot to learn about her situation(s), and there is a virus strolling around ready to pounce. 

Just slow down. 

[basil67]

On 4/21/2020 at 9:40 PM, Fletch Lives said:

Anti depression meds....are red flag

 

Untreated depression is a bigger red flag.