He blocked me all of a sudden

April 24, 2020

15 hours ago, poppyfields said:

Well what's good about LB reaching out in this particular situation is that since he couldn't be bothered responding, she has her closure. And she knows for certain guy doesn't care and they're a bad match.

Had she not reached out, she'd still be wondering, second guessing and confused.

So in that sense, reaching out turned out to be a positive thing.

But he didn't reply to her when she went pass his block and contacted him on FB. It was the same outcome, he didn't respond. Is she no longer confused and wondering?

April 24, 2020

The moral of the story here is don't make someone reject you twice. Take a hint. And a block is more than a hint.

April 24, 2020

8 hours ago, stillafool said:

But he didn't reply to her when she went pass his block and contacted him on FB. It was the same outcome, he didn't respond. Is she no longer confused and wondering?

No more confused and wondering, and moving on.

April 24, 2020

4 hours ago, preraph said:

The moral of the story here is don't make someone reject you twice. Take a hint. And a block is more than a hint.

It's not my habit to chase a guy. I rather spend that time pampering myself! lol

Actually when he blocked me I didn't take it as rejection. I took it as he is pis*** off with me with what I said. That's why I tried to contact him and sent him a message. When he didn't respond to that message then yes I took it as rejection. And I am respecting his decision and taking my decision too to forget about him and moving on.

April 24, 2020

Somebody blocking you should be the last interaction you have with them though. You are too tolerant and will attract some bad people if you will even give people who block you a second chance. Really that's just inviting someone abusive. If someone blocks you just block them back.

April 24, 2020

My goodness, not everything is always so black and white to say when someone blocks you it's an automatic block back.

People block for different reasons, and if reaching out one more time in an attempt to clear the air helps with one's healing process, as it did with LB, who is anyone to say that was wrong? I don't understand that mindset.

It helped her! It gave her closure. No more wondering, no more second guessing.

She did what was right for "her." Just because someone else wouldn't benefit from it, focusing instead on the rejection, that does not make what LB did wrong.

There is no right way or wrong way, respect that everyone has a different way of healing and getting their own closure.

Lb, I guess I am one of the very few who support what you did, I've done same and it had the same result - it gave me closure and facilitated a faster healing process.

And I would do it again if I needed to.

Head high girl, feel proud you were brave, took a risk and didnt allow fear, pride or dignity to drive your ship.

Edited April 24, 2020 by poppyfields

April 25, 2020

9 hours ago, preraph said:

Somebody blocking you should be the last interaction you have with them though. You are too tolerant and will attract some bad people if you will even give people who block you a second chance. Really that's just inviting someone abusive. If someone blocks you just block them back.

I have boundaries don’t worry, and I would never accept someone abusive in my life. That’s exactly why I didn’t like what he said and told him what I did in the first place.

I contacted him because I wanted to understand what happened, not because I was desperate to get him back.

But now yes I don’t want to hear anymore from him ever again.

Edited April 25, 2020 by ladybug2021

April 25, 2020

8 hours ago, poppyfields said:

My goodness, not everything is always so black and white to say when someone blocks you it's an automatic block back.

People block for different reasons, and if reaching out one more time in an attempt to clear the air helps with one's healing process, as it did with LB, who is anyone to say that was wrong? I don't understand that mindset.

It helped her! It gave her closure. No more wondering, no more second guessing.

She did what was right for "her." Just because someone else wouldn't benefit from it, focusing instead on the rejection, that does not make what LB did wrong.

There is no right way or wrong way, respect that everyone has a different way of healing and getting their own closure.

Lb, I guess I am one of the very few who support what you did, I've done same and it had the same result - it gave me closure and facilitated a faster healing process.

And I would do it again if I needed to.

Head high girl, feel proud you were brave, took a risk and didnt allow fear, pride or dignity to drive your ship.

It surely helped me to have closure and move on.

I was confused about what happened, but now is very clear and he’s not the type of person I want to have in my life, not even for friendship. Thank you!

April 25, 2020

Also, I haven’t told you this before, but one of the reasons I contacted him after he blocked me was because of what happened to me a few years ago.

I started going out with a guy and one day he said something I really did’t like and I was the one blocking him because my ego was hurt.

Then after that I thought to myself maybe that was too much and I should have talked to him instead of blocking him. I didn’t reach out to him because I thought he would be angry I blocked him and didn’t want to talk to me again (I had a lot of ego myself at that time).

Well guess what he was the one reaching out to me asking what happened. I apologised to him that I blocked him, we solved things and ended up in a 5 year relationship.

If he haven’t reached out to me after I blocked him I wouldn’t have done it myself because I was too embarassed I blocked him out of anger.

So I thought maybe this time could be a similar thing for this guy. Then when he didn’t respond to me I realised he’s fine with the blocking and I’m moving on.

Edited April 25, 2020 by ladybug2021

April 25, 2020

5 hours ago, ladybug2021 said:

Also, I haven’t told you this before, but one of the reasons I contacted him after he blocked me was because of what happened to me a few years ago.

I started going out with a guy and one day he said something I really did’t like and I was the one blocking him because my ego was hurt.

Then after that I thought to myself maybe that was too much and I should have talked to him instead of blocking him. I didn’t reach out to him because I thought he would be angry I blocked him and didn’t want to talk to me again (I had a lot of ego myself at that time).

Well guess what he was the one reaching out to me asking what happened. I apologised to him that I blocked him, we solved things and ended up in a 5 year relationship.

If he haven’t reached out to me after I blocked him I wouldn’t have done it myself because I was too embarassed I blocked him out of anger.

So I thought maybe this time could be a similar thing for this guy. Then when he didn’t respond to me I realised he’s fine with the blocking and I’m moving on.

It's sort of like hiding from a problem or facing it head on. More often than not, you are better off tackling it head on. I think you block for a different set of reasons instead of "I am just done with you." OP, it seems you are content which is a good thing.

April 25, 2020

8 hours ago, simpycurious said:

It's sort of like hiding from a problem or facing it head on. More often than not, you are better off tackling it head on. I think you block for a different set of reasons instead of "I am just done with you." OP, it seems you are content which is a good thing.

Yes I am. Moving on at peace with this situation and taking the lessons with me of not only to react differently but also to not attach myself to someone online and to a virtual friendship with someone I have never met before in person.

Edited April 25, 2020 by ladybug2021

April 25, 2020

8 hours ago, simpycurious said:

It's sort of like hiding from a problem or facing it head on. More often than not, you are better off tackling it head on.

Interjecting a bit of football lingo, are we?

Anyway agree, and "tackling" it head on was a great way of descrbing.

April 26, 2020

Indeed we are and appropriate given the Draft and the Chargers getting their QB of the future (hopefully)

The OP seems to have a good grasp on the situation for NOW at least

April 27, 2020

On 4/26/2020 at 6:31 PM, simpycurious said:

Indeed we are and appropriate given the Draft and the Chargers getting their QB of the future (hopefully)

The OP seems to have a good grasp on the situation for NOW at least

Well there's no more situation now. I didn't like something he said, I said that to him, he didn't like what I said and blocked me. End of story and moving on.

April 27, 2020

1 minute ago, ladybug2021 said:

Well there's no more situation now. I didn't like something he said, I said that to him, he didn't like what I said and blocked me. End of story and moving on.

Blocking, tackling....seems like mini camp to me. Well, at least you are done with it LadyBug.

April 28, 2020

11 hours ago, simpycurious said:

Blocking, tackling....seems like mini camp to me. Well, at least you are done with it LadyBug.

lol yes it seems anything but dating! Done is the word.

April 29, 2020

On 4/28/2020 at 3:31 AM, ladybug2021 said:

lol yes it seems anything but dating! Done is the word.

I agree Lady. Being DONE is probably in your best interest.

April 30, 2020

On 4/27/2020 at 3:47 PM, ladybug2021 said:

Well there's no more situation now. I didn't like something he said, I said that to him, he didn't like what I said and blocked me. End of story and moving on.

It seems this whole situation was destined for failure unfortunately. Live and Learn. Hopefully, the next time will be better.

May 11, 2020

On 4/30/2020 at 4:13 PM, simpycurious said:

It seems this whole situation was destined for failure unfortunately. Live and Learn. Hopefully, the next time will be better.

It never is. I feel like I am in a never ending loop of bad dating experiences. Losing faith in it.

May 11, 2020

On 4/19/2020 at 1:05 PM, ladybug2021 said:

That's the thing and probably where me and him are different. If it was the other way around I would want to know why they got offended and also would like to tell the person why I said what I said (if I was joking or whatever).

I see it as a great opportunity to know each other a bit more and communicate at other level.

If you just hit the delete button without talking, you'll always wonder if it was a miscommunication and you lost a great person because you decided to run.

This makes sense but all people are different and you can't expect other people to think or respond the way you do. He has his reasons and there isn't much you can do if he doesn't want to talk about it. I'm sorry.

May 11, 2020

2 hours ago, ladybug2021 said:

It never is. I feel like I am in a never ending loop of bad dating experiences. Losing faith in it.

I don't know if this compares in an exact way but I remember dating before the internet and we had to date a lot (a LOT) to find the right person.

I think the difference may be in the illusion that there so many more people to choose from with OLD. You sign on and there are a gazillion options as far as people in, say, your age group. But when you whittle it down are there really more options? You need someone in an approximate age range (probably), an approximate location, availability, personality, basic looks. Then you have other things that have always been potential deal breakers, like politics or religion or just basic personality styles. And then...all of *your* stuff, all of these things and loads more have to be attractive to the other person as well.

When you think about how all of that has to align today just like always, people don't really have all that many more choices in dating partners (at least ones they'll be happy with) today than before, BUT you see a gigantic sea of faces and a huge pool of guys on OLD and it *seems* like there are so many choices. And what that does is actually make you think, "Wow, even with 6,000 or whatever 'potential matches' I can't find a single one. Dating is doomed.'

But it boils down to the same thing. Comparatively very, very few people end up marrying, cohabitating with or just permanently/for-the-duration longterm dating the first person they dated, or even the second, third, fourth, probably not the tenth. Probably more than that.

We were lost little disco-dancing eff-ups in the old days BUT what we did do was focus on weeding out non-matches fast. I feel like that's what's lacking in OLD. You "can" date more so you do but it's based on like three pics and a bio and a few texts. That's fine but of course you can't expect a lot, or even a few of these to result in that relationship of a lifetime. Of course it's going to take a lot of dates but it's also going to take a lot of weeding out. Time was, we expected things to probably not work out when we were just going out based on maybe a quick look, a quick convo and initial interest but now it's like "he checked off all the boxes, but we're not married, WTF? This OLD thing is crap." Why? Relationships are so much more than that.

People can potentially go on *even more* dates now because of OLD but by not being more specific before deciding to date a person (kid in a candy store mentality) it feels like a lot more dates - because it is - and therefore just bound to be unsuccessful in general (which it's not). It's still going to take going out a lot, and meeting a lot of people...at least for most of us. *That doesn't mean love is dead or dating is a doomed venture.* It just means that relationships aren't Amazon or ebay or Netflix. They are one thing that still happens unpredictably, sometimes slowly...you can't push a button...you can't even do "all the right things" and expect your desired outcome every time. You're talking about real human beings, and personalities and lifestyles meshing. Yes, it's still work. It always was. Don't believe the "it used to be so easy" crap. No it wasn't, LOL. But...we didn't expect it to be. I think that's the difference. I really do.

I hope at least some of that made sense.

People will undoubtedly disagree with me but I honestly think if daters were just a lot choosier in the first place with OLD (I know...I know) then there would be less of an illusion of "you can date a hundred people but never find your prince, ergo dating is just a bust altogether." It would at least help a little with this mindset. JMO. I don't know for sure since I'm not out in the fray right now.

Edited May 11, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl

May 12, 2020

10 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

I don't know if this compares in an exact way but I remember dating before the internet and we had to date a lot (a LOT) to find the right person.

I think the difference may be in the illusion that there so many more people to choose from with OLD. You sign on and there are a gazillion options as far as people in, say, your age group. But when you whittle it down are there really more options? You need someone in an approximate age range (probably), an approximate location, availability, personality, basic looks. Then you have other things that have always been potential deal breakers, like politics or religion or just basic personality styles. And then...all of *your* stuff, all of these things and loads more have to be attractive to the other person as well.

When you think about how all of that has to align today just like always, people don't really have all that many more choices in dating partners (at least ones they'll be happy with) today than before, BUT you see a gigantic sea of faces and a huge pool of guys on OLD and it *seems* like there are so many choices. And what that does is actually make you think, "Wow, even with 6,000 or whatever 'potential matches' I can't find a single one. Dating is doomed.'

But it boils down to the same thing. Comparatively very, very few people end up marrying, cohabitating with or just permanently/for-the-duration longterm dating the first person they dated, or even the second, third, fourth, probably not the tenth. Probably more than that.

We were lost little disco-dancing eff-ups in the old days BUT what we did do was focus on weeding out non-matches fast. I feel like that's what's lacking in OLD. You "can" date more so you do but it's based on like three pics and a bio and a few texts. That's fine but of course you can't expect a lot, or even a few of these to result in that relationship of a lifetime. Of course it's going to take a lot of dates but it's also going to take a lot of weeding out. Time was, we expected things to probably not work out when we were just going out based on maybe a quick look, a quick convo and initial interest but now it's like "he checked off all the boxes, but we're not married, WTF? This OLD thing is crap." Why? Relationships are so much more than that.

People can potentially go on *even more* dates now because of OLD but by not being more specific before deciding to date a person (kid in a candy store mentality) it feels like a lot more dates - because it is - and therefore just bound to be unsuccessful in general (which it's not). It's still going to take going out a lot, and meeting a lot of people...at least for most of us. *That doesn't mean love is dead or dating is a doomed venture.* It just means that relationships aren't Amazon or ebay or Netflix. They are one thing that still happens unpredictably, sometimes slowly...you can't push a button...you can't even do "all the right things" and expect your desired outcome every time. You're talking about real human beings, and personalities and lifestyles meshing. Yes, it's still work. It always was. Don't believe the "it used to be so easy" crap. No it wasn't, LOL. But...we didn't expect it to be. I think that's the difference. I really do.

I hope at least some of that made sense.

People will undoubtedly disagree with me but I honestly think if daters were just a lot choosier in the first place with OLD (I know...I know) then there would be less of an illusion of "you can date a hundred people but never find your prince, ergo dating is just a bust altogether." It would at least help a little with this mindset. JMO. I don't know for sure since I'm not out in the fray right now.

I get what you mean, but I haven't dated hundreds as you say. I also like to chat a little online before seeing if we are on the same page even to meet for a coffee.

I also don't feel like there's plenty of fish in the sea, I know that people compatible with me are only a few.

I think that what I am sick of is the dynamic of OLD. The whole start talking, same questions, then they stop texting all of a sudden, or ask non-sense things, etc, etc. I've been doing this for a long time and have lost the excitement and interest. Feel burned out.

I have already deleted my profile on that well-known dating app because the low quality is shocking. I am still in two other apps with more quality but not paying it much attention at the moment.

I also believe I should just stop trying. If it's the right time to meet the right person, I can meet him anywhere anytime, right!?

Edited May 12, 2020 by ladybug2021

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