He blocked me all of a sudden

[ladybug2021]

Hi guys!

I've just had a situation yesterday with the guy I met online and have been talking since March and I'm quite confused about it.

We met on a well known dating app, exchanged a few words and then moved to WhatsApp. We had the same sense of humor and interests so we started talking non-stop every day. We went on lockdown so didn't have a chance to meet in person but wanted to do that when all goes back to normal.

So I think we both felt some romantic spark between us, but we agreed that we are only friends until we meet in person and see how we feel.

Last week he said something I didn't like even if he was joking. He said that from my lifestyle that I must have been really spoiled from my parents (I like to do my nails, wear nice clothes, do my hair, go to nice places, etc). I said to him not really, I started to work really young so I can give all nice things to myself so I am not spoiled by my parents or anyone. But he continued to say the same but using humor, so I didn't know if he was joking or serious, but I found his remarks to be inappropriate.

We continued talking but I withdraw a little from him and talked less because I was trying to understand if I should tell him I didn't like it or just ignore it.

So on Saturday he asked me if something was wrong because he was feeling me distant, and I told him these words:

"That thing you said I must be really spoiled it did pi** me off a little because I feel it was inappropriate".

So, after I said these words to him, he responded nothing, and after about 5 hours he was gone. He blocked me on WhatsApp, unfriended me on Facebook and blocked me on Instagram too. And was gone from the dating app too.

I am stunned by this.

I told him the truth about how I feel not to have an argument with him,  but to try understand why he said that and to solve things, after all I was into him and wanted to get to know him.

So I was really shocked that he blocked me without any conversation, nothing, after many weeks talking to each other and developing a friendship.

It makes me feel what's the point!? What's the point in meeting someone if I  can't talk honestly without having the other person running away?

Was I wrong for being honest with him about how it made me feel? Why did he blocked me and walked away like that?

Now I miss talking to him and am confused. Can you guys give me some insight?  Thank you!

 

Edited April 19, 2020 by ladybug2021

[The Outlaw]

I don't see anything wrong with being honest and upfront with him but that was his choice to just walk away. Is there any other way you can contact him that you can think of to try to clear the air?  

[ladybug2021]

3 minutes ago, The Outlaw said:

I don't see anything wrong with being honest and upfront with him but that was his choice to just walk away. Is there any other way you can contact him that you can think of to try to clear the air?  

I can still send a message on Facebook messenger, but I'm not sure if I should do that, after all he blocked me!?

[peaceminusone]

Oh Lord, 

He sounds like  'The Nice Guy'

He has given you attention, he knows you like him a lot. Then he gauges your reaction with ill-timed humor and expects you to shrug it off, because it was clearly a personal attack. 

Please refrain from communication as he is not, what he acts to be. 
He didn't communicate when you opened up with complete honesty, didn't apologize and instead put you on ignore. That speaks volumes. 

He wants you to chase him hun, dont. 

[stillafool]

I wouldn't contact him if he blocked me for expressing how I felt about a comment.  He thinks you are too sensitive for him.  He is used to saying what he wants to women and wants it to roll off your back.  You dodged a bullet.  I think trying to go pass his block to reach him makes you look desperate.

[preraph]

I think you're well rid of him.   He has some sort of chip on his shoulder and some preconceived notion about people who are comfortable instead of poor.  It wouldn't have worked.  Don't go crawling.  He had no reason to say something like that.   

 

These are the kind of little red flags you feel petty for letting pass, but then later regret you didn't take more seriously as the criticism and his "script" continues.  

Edited April 19, 2020 by preraph

[The Outlaw]

13 minutes ago, ladybug2021 said:

I can still send a message on Facebook messenger, but I'm not sure if I should do that, after all he blocked me!?

If it will give you peace of mind, give it a go. I've been on the receiving end of that myself (non dating) a few years ago and was just abruptly cut off and muted/ignored on FB messenger. But to clear the air I sent her a message anyway. Still no response and I don't expect one. But just do it for you. 

[ladybug2021]

14 minutes ago, peaceminusone said:

Oh Lord, 

He sounds like  'The Nice Guy'

He has given you attention, he knows you like him a lot. Then he gauges your reaction with ill-timed humor and expects you to shrug it off, because it was clearly a personal attack. 

Please refrain from communication as he is not, what he acts to be. 
He didn't communicate when you opened up with complete honesty, didn't apologize and instead put you on ignore. That speaks volumes. 

He wants you to chase him hun, dont. 

Yes I imagine being in a real relationship with him and having him do that when I am honest and he doesn't like it.

I  think some men would be really happy for having a woman that communicates clearly and honestly, instead of having some immature behaviours like many  women do, so this makes me confused. 

I never had this happening before.

No I am not going to chase him at all.

Edited April 19, 2020 by ladybug2021

[ladybug2021]

2 minutes ago, The Outlaw said:

If it will give you peace of mind, give it a go. I've been on the receiving end of that myself (non dating) a few years ago and was just abruptly cut off and muted/ignored on FB messenger. But to clear the air I sent her a message anyway. Still no response and I don't expect one. But just do it for you. 

I think no message from me is message enough for what he did. But thank you for your reply.

[ladybug2021]

18 minutes ago, stillafool said:

I wouldn't contact him if he blocked me for expressing how I felt about a comment.  He thinks you are too sensitive for him.  He is used to saying what he wants to women and wants it to roll off your back.  You dodged a bullet.  I think trying to go pass his block to reach him makes you look desperate.

Yes, and stupid too. Chasing a guy that blocked me and doesn't want to communicate. Not gonna do that.

I think I am just shocked that we were getting along so well and I liked him and then all of a sudden this happens and he does this. I guess I have to believe what he shows and this is not what I want from a partner.

Still in shock though and miss our conversations. It's hard to find someone with whom you feel a connection.

Edited April 19, 2020 by ladybug2021

[Ruby Slippers]

He knows he won't be able to provide the lifestyle you've created for yourself or operate on that level. Rather than discussing your thoughts on the matter, he just made assumptions, blocked and ghosted. Very immature and thoughtless. No big loss, seems to me.

[Calmandfocused]

19 minutes ago, ladybug2021 said:

 

I  think some men would be really happy for having a woman that communicates clearly and honestly, instead of having some immature behaviours like many  women do, so this makes me

Yes you’d think so. 
 

However there are many people (men and women) who like to say and do as they please and expect another to put up and shut up. Alternatively, they simply want someone to agree with them and can’t abide any perceived criticism. 
 

Perhaps he was simply one of these people. But more importantly, not a person you’d want to date. 

[Ellener]

1 hour ago, Calmandfocused said:

they simply want someone to agree with them and can’t abide any perceived criticism. 

well said. 

[poppyfields]

There was a thread similar to this recently -  a guy a woman had been chatting on line with tossed out what amounted to be his lame attempt at a tease and she took offense. 

Things just went downhill after like you, she told him how she felt about it.

Here's my take.  Guy has a rather warped sense of humor.  He was teasing you; in the PUA world, it's referred to as a "neg."

It's purpose is to throw you a bit off balance and chase him for validation. 

Well, in your case his game didn't work, and by telling him it was inappropriate you took the fun out of it -- for him.  You essentially insulted him.

So he decided to move on to find a woman who shares his type of humor and gamesmenship, a bit less sensitive and who would have been happy to banter with him right back.

No right or wrong, to each his/her own. 

 

Edited April 19, 2020 by poppyfields

[ladybug2021]

6 minutes ago, Calmandfocused said:

Yes you’d think so. 
 

However there are many people (men and women) who like to say and do as they please and expect another to put up and shut up. Alternatively, they simply want someone to agree with them and can’t abide any perceived criticism. 
 

Perhaps he was simply one of these people. But more importantly, not a person you’d want to date. 

Yes but I didn't even do any criticism. I didn't say he was this or that, I just said to him I didn't like it. If he took it as criticism, then it's his view.

[ladybug2021]

2 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

There was a thread similar to this recently -  a guy a woman had been chatting on line with tossed out what amounted to his lame attempt at a tease and she took offense. 

Things just went downhill after like you, she told him how she felt about it.

Here's my take.  Guy has a rather warped sense of humor.  He was teasing you, and in the PUA world, it's referred to as a "neg."

It's purpose is to throw you a bit off balance and chase him for valudation. 

Well, in your case his game didn't work, and by telling him it was inappropriate you took the fun out it -- for him.

So he decided to move on to find a woman who shares his type of humor and gamesmenship, a bit less sensitive and who would have been happy to banter with him right back.

No right or wrong, to each his/her own. 

 

I love banter, just not when it's inappropriate like he did. I don't seek validation from him or anyone, so would not go on those games.

I guess we were just not compatible and at the end he couldn't even be honest himself.

[poppyfields]

1 minute ago, ladybug2021 said:

I love banter, just not when it's inappropriate like he did. I don't seek validation from him or anyone, so would not go on those games.

I guess we were just not compatible and at the end he couldn't even be honest himself.

Yup, consider bullet successfully dodged.

[ladybug2021]

20 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said:

He knows he won't be able to provide the lifestyle you've created for yourself or operate on that level. Rather than discussing your thoughts on the matter, he just made assumptions, blocked and ghosted. Very immature and thoughtless. No big loss, seems to me.

Well he mentioned he spends a lot of money weekly ordering food home, and on his bike, etc. I don't see any difference between that and me spending money on nails, hair, clothes, etc. It's basically the same.

I could never date a guy like him who blocks and ghosts. Can't trust someone like that.

Edited April 19, 2020 by ladybug2021

[CollinW]

Are those the words you used verbatim? There is nothing wrong with how you choose to spend the money you worked for, and over text things can be misinterpreted. There was either a miscommunication or what you said was a lot worse than what you've posted. 

Either that or he felt you're more serious than expected and doesn't want to deal with it. That has happened to me, I made a very innocent joke to a woman (wasn't about her personally) and she responded in a rude but not "serious" tone. Never responded again. 

 

 

[poppyfields]

25 minutes ago, ladybug2021 said:

Well he mentioned he spends a lot of money weekly ordering food home, and on his bike, etc. I don't see any difference between that and me spending money on nails, hair, clothes, etc. It's basically the same.

I could never date a guy like him who blocks and ghosts. Can't trust someone like that.

There is nothing bad or wrong with pampering yourself - heck I am one of the most high maintenance chicks around when it comes to that stuff!

Spas, facials, nails, hair etc.  I love all that girly stuff. 

I recall chatting with a man online (a few actually) who liked to tease me about it, I didn't take offense at all.

I pay for it all myself, but yah I am a bit spoiled, I own it!! 

One guy teased me about being "high maintenance" and I responded  "You bet I am!  More than you know!  LOL" followed by a double wink.

I just own it, nothing to be ashamed about or take offense too.

Ended up dating the guy for around  nine months. 

Edited April 19, 2020 by poppyfields

[ccas93]

25 minutes ago, CollinW said:

Either that or he felt you're more serious than expected and doesn't want to deal with it. That has happened to me, I made a very innocent joke to a woman (wasn't about her personally) and she responded in a rude but not "serious" tone. Never responded again. 

 

 

Honestly, I was going to say something like the poster above. That said, that was a pretty douchy joke on his part, but if he thought it was just an innocent little zing, then he probably didn't want to deal with walking on eggshells around you (in his mind). Especially if he felt that you were into him, probably didn't think you'd withdraw from him and get that mad over his douchy joke/remark. 

There's been an occasion once or twice where I was talking with someone online, and they got offended for a reason I could not understand, so I just hit the "delete" button. 

Edited April 19, 2020 by ccas93

[simpycurious]

I will say that SPOILING a lady (in my case) is a very profound guilty pleasure.  It can involve a wide variety of things.  I don't think ANYTHING is considered "too high maintenance" in that regard.

[ladybug2021]

21 minutes ago, ccas93 said:

There's been an occasion once or twice where I was talking with someone online, and they got offended for a reason I could not understand, so I just hit the "delete" button. 

That's the thing and probably where me and him are different. If it was the other way around I would want  to know why they got offended and also would like to tell the person why I said what I said (if I was joking or whatever). 

I see it as a great opportunity to know each other a bit more and communicate at other level.

If you just hit the delete button without talking, you'll always wonder if it was a miscommunication and you lost a great person because you decided to run.

 

[ladybug2021]

39 minutes ago, CollinW said:

Are those the words you used verbatim? There is nothing wrong with how you choose to spend the money you worked for, and over text things can be misinterpreted. There was either a miscommunication or what you said was a lot worse than what you've posted. 

Either that or he felt you're more serious than expected and doesn't want to deal with it. That has happened to me, I made a very innocent joke to a woman (wasn't about her personally) and she responded in a rude but not "serious" tone. Never responded again. 

 

 

I said to him exactly as I posted. I wasn't rude, I didn't criticise him, anything. 

Honestly, I just wanted to find out why he said those things because I really liked him. 

Even after he blocked me, I still miss talking to him and feel sad about all this.

Edited April 19, 2020 by ladybug2021

[ladybug2021]

31 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

There is nothing bad or wrong with pampering yourself - heck I am one of the most high maintenance chicks around when it comes to that stuff!

Spas, facials, nails, hair etc.  I love all that girly stuff. 

I recall chatting with a man online (a few actually) who liked to tease me about it, I didn't take offense at all.

I pay for it all myself, but yah I am a bit spoiled, I own it!! 

One guy teased me about being "high maintenance" and I responded  "You bet I am!  More than you know!  LOL" followed by a double wink.

I just own it, nothing to be ashamed about or take offense too.

Ended up dating the guy for around  nine months. 

Yes I guess I am high maintenance too, but what he meant was that I am spoiled, as in probably it's my mom and dad who pay for my high maintenance, when it's not, it's me and my job. That's the part I didn't like.