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Dating for 4 months. Birthday gift.


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Posted

Hi. 

Ive been dating a girl since about new years. We spent ton of time together and usually full weekends, we also actually spent two weeks quarentined together last month, so we are really comfortablr with eachother, although we have not talked about the exclusivity thing, even though it feels that we are more than casually dating. 

 

So. Her birthday is coming up and Im never actually been in a relationship long enough to buy gifts before so I wonder whats appropriate for buying her at this stage

I already booked a table at a great Italian resturant on her B-day and I was thinking that I will pay for everything. 

 

Should I do something more? I know she has been talking about an electrical heat blanket many times, because she is constantly freezing like insane and would really love that, but this would make it all about maybe 150 bucks for dinner and gift. 

 

Is it over the top? 

 

Im clueless at this. Thanks for help and stay healthy and safe in these covid times

  • Thanks 1
Posted

$150 is WAAAAYYYY over the top for the 1st birthday together & only 4 months in.  

Dinner & a nice card would be sufficient.  However, going out to eat during a pandemic seems irresponsible.  Way to say "hey, I really like you.  Let me expose you to something that could kill you or vulnerable people you love."  Stay home! 

Send her a nice face mask instead.  

  • Author
Posted

Hello. Thanks for response. 

 

Sorry I should have clarified. We live in Norway in a smallntown with minimal corona problems and things go about pretty normal here except for closed schools etc and extreme focus on hygiene. 

She also told me she have no problem in going out to eat in these times.. 

 

Price also is pretty wrong I realise from USD, because an dinner out will be about 80 bucks here. 

 

I guess in the us all would come ton 80-90 bucks :)

  • Like 1
Posted

I don't think that's excessive at all, provided you can afford it and give it in a spirit of generosity. Almost every new boyfriend I've had has taken me out for dinner and given me a nice present for my birthday. It's touching and sweet.

  • Like 4
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Posted

I think that would be super sweet. Look, if I'm dating a guy and I like him a lot, it's very hard to see how he could do too much for my bday. Much less just dinner and a nice present. I think you should get her a present in addition to the dinner. The blanket sounds nice :)

  • Like 2
Posted (edited)

I guess there are some things that would make you feel it is too much..but a blanket is not one of them. 

Edited by Cookiesandough
Posted

Yes take her out to the restaurant paying for it off course, and definitely get the blanket. Don't forget a birthday card and some flowers.

Ignore the posters who seem to think you shouldn't treat your lady. Women love to feel like a princess.

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Posted

Your idea gets a 👍 from me.  Enjoy 

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Posted
13 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

I guess there are some things that would make you feel it is too much..but a blanket is not one of them. 

Agree.  A blanket, regardless of price (well, within reason) isn't something that will be construed as "too much." It sounds pretty perfect, actually - shows you're paying attention to what she tells you and indirectly taking care of her.  Sweet.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

Noooooooo! Don't buy her a utility gift (blanket)! Something in the fun category like cloths or jewelry, etc. What does she like?

And absolutely, 4 months is plenty of time to fall in love and buy a nice birthday gift. 

Edited by Fletch Lives
  • Like 4
Posted
25 minutes ago, Fletch Lives said:

Noooooooo! Don't buy her a utility gift (blanket)! Something in the fun category like cloths or jewelry, etc. What does she like?

And absolutely, 4 months is plenty of time to fall in love and buy a nice birthday gift. 

Fletch is right.  Buy her A NICE GIFT.  A nice necklace, a nice handbag (Chanel, Louis, etc) but something along those lines.  I believe LOVE has no time table and if you just really like her what's the big deal you gave her a nice gift.  Cookie, I suspect that MANY men would desire to spoil you.  I also understand some PEOPLE (men/women) just don't like gifts like that.  It's a difficult and touchy situation. 

  • Author
Posted

I actually bought that electric blanket, it is a really nice one as well.. Around 50-60 bucks or something around that. Plus shes been talking about that a lot since she lost hers when she moved so.. 

She is not so much into jewlery anyways.. 

 

I will also buy her some tulips, she love those. 

Also I have not been buying her stuff these 4 months we have been dating, only something small for valentines, so I realise it wont feel so over the top since anyways, also its her b day after all 😁

  • Like 5
Posted (edited)
19 minutes ago, Fensun90 said:

I actually bought that electric blanket, it is a really nice one as well.. Around 50-60 bucks or something around that. Plus shes been talking about that a lot since she lost hers when she moved so.. 

She is not so much into jewlery anyways..

I will also buy her some tulips, she love those. 

Also I have not been buying her stuff these 4 months we have been dating, only something small for valentines, so I realise it wont feel so over the top since anyways, also its her b day after all 😁

I'm not into jewelry either, so I think your gift to her is sweet (and practical).  It shows that you paid attention to what she was saying. :)    

Edited by spiritedaway2003
Posted

Dinner and the blanket seems very appropriate to me. In the end, just do what feels right... Most women would recognize and appreciate the fact that you actually remembered a detail such as the blanket, and then acted upon it for her special day. 

Posted (edited)
On 4/17/2020 at 7:24 AM, Fletch Lives said:

Noooooooo! Don't buy her a utility gift (blanket)! Something in the fun category like cloths or jewelry, etc. What does she like?

And absolutely, 4 months is plenty of time to fall in love and buy a nice birthday gift. 

Fletch is right. Buy her a nice gift. A nice necklace, a nice hand bag (Chanel or Louis , etc) something along those lines. I believe that love has no time table and even if you just like her what’s the big deal you gave her a nice present.

I also fully recognize that someone giving you a nice gift can you make pensive and uncomfortable.  It’s a touchy situation to say the least 

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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Posted

Not sure I would be doing all that after only 4 months.

Seems excessive for such a short relationship, I assume you are exclusive? 

I always say do what you feel is right, hope it works out for you.

 

Posted

I think the gift is very thoughtful. 
it shows you listen  to her and care about her well being. 
 

the important thing is to be yourself. If it’s in your nature to buy thoughtful gifts then continue to do that. 

  • Like 1
Posted

I would buy the blanket for her just because not as a bday gift. I think bday gifts should be special. A nice fragrance, or a bracelet, handbag, something she wouldn’t normally  buy for herself. 
My husband took a shot and bought me perfume 3 months into our relationship for my bday. It was 80 bucks (. 30 years ago) I loved it and wore that fragrance for years afterwards. 

  • Like 1
Posted

Dinner and a card is fine for 4 months.  However, if you want to buy her that blanket because she needs one, I'm sure she'd love it.  Just realize she may not even be able to reciprocate in kind if her financial situation is such she can't afford an electric blanket.  Maybe to cut back on the money, you don't go out to eat but you stay in and cook something and bring her the blanket. 

 

I think buying an electric blanket IS special, but I guess I'm a more practical minded woman.  I'm always wanting gifts I need rather than don't need, you know.  Plus I once gave a girl I worked with my electric blanket.  She was a drug addict, I found out, but we had the same landlord (really crappy apartments) in two different buildings, and he wouldn't turn the heat on.  She was just freezing.  I gave her my blanket, because I knew I could make one phone call to my mom and she'd get me one and it wasn't that far from Christmas, and meanwhile, I had extra quilts to use.  That girl never forgot me, even after she moved away.  She opened an antique clothing store up north somewhere and sent me a beautiful vintage dress. 

 

I guess there are women who would begrudge a more practical gift, and you know your woman best, but if that is what she's been wanting, then I'm all for getting it for her!  She isn't someone with luxuries and money.  This will be a luxury to her.  Then also get a card and do something cheap for dinner.  If she wants to go out, you don't have to go somewhere expensive.  Give her the gift first.  Here, there are some very inexpensive Italian restaurants.  The one I mostly go to, it's $7 lunch including salad and drink.  There ARE lots of expensive ones, but they're not any better.    

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted
On 4/17/2020 at 10:54 AM, Fensun90 said:

I actually bought that electric blanket, it is a really nice one as well.. Around 50-60 bucks or something around that. Plus shes been talking about that a lot since she lost hers when she moved so.. 

She is not so much into jewlery anyways.. 

 

I will also buy her some tulips, she love those. 

Also I have not been buying her stuff these 4 months we have been dating, only something small for valentines, so I realise it wont feel so over the top since anyways, also its her b day after all 😁

I think what you're doing honestly sounds perfect. :) You know her best, and it's definitely not too much to treat her to a nice birthday dinner along with a useful gift and flowers that she loves. Keep us posted on how it goes! Best wishes :)

Posted
On 4/16/2020 at 11:33 AM, d0nnivain said:

$150 is WAAAAYYYY over the top for the 1st birthday together & only 4 months in.  

Dinner & a nice card would be sufficient.  However, going out to eat during a pandemic seems irresponsible.  Way to say "hey, I really like you.  Let me expose you to something that could kill you or vulnerable people you love."  Stay home! 

Send her a nice face mask instead.  

I don’t agree with this.  I think $150 is a very acceptable amount to spend on your partner of 4 months.  I was dating my ex for 4 months when my birthday rolled around and I think he spent about $500 between dinner and my gift, now I know that’s a lot but he was older and very well off, so I am by no means saying that’s what anyone should spend after 4 months.

  • Like 1
Posted

I agree that $150 is over the top for most gifting unless you're just made of money.  To me, that level is for married partners' Christmas, big anniversaries, not even birthday or mother's day.  

Posted (edited)

Buy her dinner and the blanket and anything else you think she would appreciate. Just make sure you are not over your head in terms of affordability. SHE WANTS a blanket and it shows that you have been listening to her needs and desires. The point isn't whether it is utilitarian, rather, if it is thoughtful and reflects her needs. She will be able to use the blanket for every cold occasion, and in Norway, there will be plenty. Love it!

Edited by Gr8fuln2020
Posted

Yes to both gifts!  If you guys both quarantined together for a MONTH, I wouldn't say this is excessive at all.  The time she spent with you is more excessive than that gift combo!! (which i do think is nice and cute)  And make it official already!!! Good luck

  • Like 1
Posted
On 4/17/2020 at 8:01 PM, simpycurious said:

Fletch is right. Buy her a nice gift. A nice necklace, a nice hand bag (Chanel or Louis , etc) something along those lines. I believe that love has no time table and even if you just like her what’s the big deal you gave her a nice present.

I disagree.  The gift ideas of jewelry or a handbag are kind of stereotypical and uncreative.  Not all women are into jewelry and handbags. I think the blanket idea is sweet because it's personal and it's something that he knows she actually wants.

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