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Am I bisexual? What could it be?

girlinNYC

By girlinNYC
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girlinNYC Established Member

girlinNYC

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I’ve always been a straight female, I’m in love with a man. I’ve never had romantic feelings for a woman and don’t anticipate myself ever falling for a woman in that way. 
 

However I have been with a woman before intimately and enjoyed it. It was purely for the physical side of things and there wasn’t any romantic feelings involved on my end - I’m Catholic so it seems contradictory but humans aren’t robots. 
 

I enjoyed having female sex and it’s something I have thought about doing again and again. The thought is appealing. 
 

I only have love for men, but purely lust for women. What does that make me on the sexuality scale? Don’t bisexuals have feelings for both genders? My feelings only go towards men. 

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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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Heteroromantic bisexual sounds like ??? You are BI if you lust after/enjoy having sex with men/women

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girlinNYC Established Member

girlinNYC

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15 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Heteroromantic bisexual sounds like ??? You are BI if you lust after/enjoy having sex with men/women

Okay. So bisexuality doesn’t necessarily have to involve feelings? So long as you have sex with both you’re bisexual? 

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Miss Spider Established Member

Miss Spider

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3 minutes ago, girlinNYC said:

Okay. So bisexuality doesn’t necessarily have to involve feelings? So long as you have sex with both you’re bisexual? 

Yes. The distinction is between sexual and romantic attraction. If you have sex with both you're bisexual. =D

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preraph Established Member

preraph

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Bearing in mind that no one always has romantic feelings for everyone they have sex with. So it's not out of the question that you might get romantic feelings for a woman sometime. 

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Ami1uwant Established Member

Ami1uwant

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2 hours ago, girlinNYC said:

Okay. So bisexuality doesn’t necessarily have to involve feelings? So long as you have sex with both you’re bisexual? 

 

Im surprised here....you are actually reversed.  With many women they have gotten more emotionally attached to other women but had trouble eith the sex part.  Men with men friendship isn’t on the same intimate level that some women have with their female friends.

 

also more men can separate the act of sex vs romantic feelings. 

 

I believe sexuality is the color of the rainbow where some at the far ends are pure heterosexual and some are pure homosexual. Most fall in between and it comes to nature vs nurture.  Females have had more experimental sex than men in some sort of try out when they are trying to find out what they are around 18-25 yrs old.

 

in terms of your relationship...this is still cheating if you go through with this. Maybe he’s interested in a 3somr.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Ami1uwant
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SincereOnlineGuy Established Member

SincereOnlineGuy

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4 hours ago, girlinNYC said:

I’ve always been a straight female, I’m in love with a man.

 

Of far greater importance: 

 

Are you monogamous???

 

If so, then the question/label of bisexuality will not matter for some time.

 

For if monogamous, there is zero need to inform your partner OF your 'bisexuality' .    (and there would be just one reason you might...) (which isn't good)

 

 

 

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girlinNYC Established Member

girlinNYC

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3 hours ago, SincereOnlineGuy said:

 

Of far greater importance: 

 

Are you monogamous???

 

If so, then the question/label of bisexuality will not matter for some time.

 

For if monogamous, there is zero need to inform your partner OF your 'bisexuality' .    (and there would be just one reason you might...) (which isn't good)

 

 

 

I’m completely single 

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Gr8fuln2020 Established Member

Gr8fuln2020

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3 hours ago, girlinNYC said:

I’m completely single 

Is this your serious response to monogamous? This didn't answer the question as to whether you are monogamous or not. 🙂

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girlinNYC Established Member

girlinNYC

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7 hours ago, Gr8fuln2020 said:

Is this your serious response to monogamous? This didn't answer the question as to whether you are monogamous or not. 🙂

Monogamy isn’t something applicable to me because I’m not in a relationship. If I was, I would be monogamous. I’ve never been into open relationships. 

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mark clemson Established Member

mark clemson

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It sounds like you have little interest in polyamory, which would make you (mostly) monogamous.

snowboy91 Established Member

snowboy91

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On 4/16/2020 at 11:10 AM, girlinNYC said:

Okay. So bisexuality doesn’t necessarily have to involve feelings? So long as you have sex with both you’re bisexual? 

By strict definition, yes (it's in the name!)

And being bisexual doesn't have to mean you're polyamorous. In fact, most bisexual women I meet prefer to only have one partner at a time.

What I'm curious about is that you've really only had romantic feelings for guys - aside from romance, have you found that you tend to get along better with guys or girls? 

mortensorchid Established Member

mortensorchid

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Sexuality is differnet for men and women.  There are a lot of double standards for it and there are a lot of behaviors / exceptions.  For example, 80% of women who consider themselves gay have been with at least one man in their lifetimes; while less than 20% of men have been with at least one woman.  Plus, if a woman decided she was going to go off and have sex with a woman out of curiosity, go and do, then decide it's not for her, that's okay and considered part of development.   If a man does the same, it's considered revolting.

As to your concerns about this?  Well, I have no answers except that you sound more non-binary or fluid which are the grey areas.  

Poutrew Established Member

Poutrew

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Did you tell your boyfriend? Why not let him decide... "Honey, I love you and truly enjoy spending time with you. You'd make a good father, you know how to change the oil on the car, and repair a leaky toilet, and I think you are a great guy. However, I like having sex with women. It's nothing to be worried about -  it's only Lust, after all. Once we get married, if you see me looking at another woman and making strange, animal sounds, just remember, it is only lust. Don't feel threatened. I may be in lust with females, but I am in love with you - don't I give you duty sex once every week or so? I'll manage to keep you happy, as long as you don't cancel my Playboy subscription..." 

I am sure your boyfriend wont have a problem with this scenario, as long as you don't mind him having  a second family with his mistress. 🥴

K.K. Established Member

K.K.

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I always wonder, if you’ve been bisexual in the past but not in recent days, does that make you a non- practicing bisexual? 

You don’t have to have feelings for a woman other than sexual feelings to make you bisexual. But back to the practicing thing. ..  are you still bisexual if say ... you do it a few times and then never do it again? (But you know that you would ...say ....if the alcohol was flowing just right and she was halfway in your panties already.)

Once a bisexual always a bisexual? 🤔

Or can you be ‘reformed and reverted’ back into a straight person by default. AKA lack of new bisexual experiences? 

 

rjc149 Established Member

rjc149

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On 4/15/2020 at 8:51 PM, girlinNYC said:

I enjoyed having female sex and it’s something I have thought about doing again and again. The thought is appealing. 
 

I only have love for men, but purely lust for women. What does that make me on the sexuality scale?

I would say it makes you, with little to no doubt, a bisexual woman. No need to question it anymore, now it's time to own it. 

Lotsgoingon Established Member

Lotsgoingon

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You don't need to answer this question. I have a close friend, a young woman, who is "boy crazy"--loves flirting with guys, loves sex with guys. And recently she has come out as "bi" because she has had these fierce crushes on women. 

I think you have to just date and see what feels right. I don't think there is some clear answer ahead of time. 

poppyfields Established Member

poppyfields

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Given that human sexuality is so fluid, I think every one of us is bisexual or has the sexual capacity to be.   

However, sadly imo, "society" has done such a number on us, brainwashing us in a sense to believe any deviation from the "norm" (i.e hetero and monogamous) is wrong or "bad," most are in denial about how fluid their sexuality is or can be.

I think if we took society's "rules" re what's proper social and sexual etiquette out of the equation and the profound effect those rules have on us, many folks would be more open to exploring their sexuality and discovering there are many different facets and layers to it.  :)

Edited by poppyfields
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K.K. Established Member

K.K.

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9 hours ago, poppyfields said:

Given that human sexuality is so fluid, I think every one of us is bisexual or has the sexual capacity to be.

I agree with this, I’ve always thought the same. I can see where guys especially wouldn’t think so or admit this. Maybe they’d even throw up at the thought of it. But I still think .. given the right opportunity, you never know. 😉 

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