He wants me to f*ck his best friend!!

[Cupcake]

Last monday, I met this guy at school (we're in college). We had our first date last wednesday, two days later. The date was fine. His best friend tagged along for the first three hours trying to convince us to go with him to a club. Then he gave up and left us alone.

 

The guy and I went to a secluded lake with a park. It was dark and romantic. We ended up having sex (used protection) in the back seat of his car. It was great. He finished in about 10 minutes. Then we drove back to my apartment for rounds two and three.

 

Friday night, this guy came back to my apartment after I got off work. It was really late. I knew it was a booty call. But I didn't mind. The sex was amazing. We did it three times within five hours. Then he left at 5am.

 

He called me for another booty call this past wednesday. I invited him over. But I was surprised when he brought his best friend with him. The three of us watched a movie together. Then his friend left, but assured us that he would be back later. While the friend was gone, the guy and I had sex. It didn't last more than 6 minutes. He came after a few strokes.

 

Then he instructed me not to get out of bed. He went to the bathroom and took a shower. I heard him talking on his cell phone. Then he got dressed and went to the living room. A few moments later, his friend walked into the bedroom where I was still lying sexed and naked. He sat on the bed and told me that the guy had gone to the store and would be back later. I looked out the window and saw the guy driving away.

 

I asked his friend, "What are you doing in here?" I told him to get out of my room. He just laughed and asked me to give him what I had just given his friend. I tried to reason with him. I told him that the guy would not be happy if he knew that he was trying to have sex with me. Then the friend assured me that if the guy cared, he never would have left me alone with him.

 

I was scared. I thought he was going to rape me or something. I asked him to leave. He refused. In fact, he called my guy and told him that I was not cooperating. He gave me the phone and my guy encouraged me to f*ck his best friend. I hung up the phone and got out of the bed with the sheet wrapped around me. I called my neighbor on my cell phone and told him that I had an unwanted guest.

 

Before my neighbor could get all the details and come to rescue me, the friend got scared, and left. A few minutes later, my guy called me and criticized me for being disrespectful to his best friend. He said I was no fun. He was very upset with me and assured me that he would not be involved with me ever again.

 

What do I have to do to find a decent FWB? This isn't too much to ask. I just want a man, or a few men (not at the same time) whom I can trust enough to have sex with them occasionally with no strings attached. Instead, I keep getting these one night stands, and men who disappear without a warning after a few dates with sex.

 

Is it supposed to be like this? What am I doing wrong? Perhaps I keep picking the wrong type of guys. If so, what type of guys should I seek for FWB, that will give me at least a few months of casual sex before disappearing?

[gevoraksix]

Im sorry this happened to you,

You ask what you may have done wrong ,I may be wrong I haven't dated In 3years.

I had a FWB before my 3year relationship(not with my ex,my only FWB ever).

It started out as FRIENDS ,I knew him about a year before FWB started lots of phone conversions,and teasing of course friendship.

I know you don't have to be really friends to be FWB,

But you didn't know him well enough to kind of know he was into freaky stuff.

And he could have asked you at least ,instead of having that guy just show up like that.

Doesn't sound like he had much respect for you.

Are you telling these guys what you want?

I think you need to know a guy a little better.

I don't know what guy wouldn't want a FWB .

I would try to find someone who i actually felt was a friend who i could have that mutual understanding,wanted what i wanted ,not a life partner but also not someone who if i wasn't horney i wouldn't speak to.

Keep looking and please be more careful about who you let in your life and home.

[jaye]

If i was you i wouldn't be hurt but i will learn from it the guys you picked. try again and again and again

[europimp]

In my opinion, which is all I have to offer in this case because I've yet to have a FWB, I think you've shifted more towards the B than the F. In this case, it seems like the Friends part was almost nonexistent, it seems like you didn't even know him. If you want someone who will be good to you, as a FWB or BF or whatever, get to know him better first. I personally would look for a little more of a friendship before I started considering anything more. I realize sometimes you get swept up in the moment, but if you're looking for a long term FWB, find someone who you can stand first; because this guy sounds like nothing but a complete ***.

 

Also something to consider, is that perhaps you wanting to have sex on the first date, two days after you met the guy, in all likelihood you gave off the vibe of being "easy." Being a little more of a challenge would be a good thing here too.

 

I realize that I come off as rather rude in this, but that's my opinion. I wish you the best of luck finding a FWB that works out for you;

 

-Euro

[jaye]

Euro you 're right it is a bit of her fault but not givinup so quick i have 3 FWB and all of them gaveup at the first date i goto bar pick em up and take em out i still treat them like human there openion counts. they don't feel like it i goto the next one. she made mistake of trusting someone so quick and show them the door so quick, this is why they have motels, use em

[blueriver]

You need to know you have control. You cant control what that guy did or what the next guy will do but you can control your actions.

[Cupcake]

I understand what you all are saying. I know I could have gotten to know him more before having sex. I definately should have waited before showing him where I live. I just felt so comfortable with him. He never gave the impression of being like that.

 

But at least my naiveness proves one thing: my past relationships didn't take away my ability to trust.

 

I have never even kissed a guy on the first date, let alone have sex with him. Also, although I only asked this guy out two days prior to the date, I had been associating with him in class since August. So he wasn't a complete stranger.

 

I agree with getting to know a guy first as a friend before FWB. But most of the time, once a person becomes my friend, I have so much respect for them that I lose sexual attraction and don't want to turn a friendship into something as shallow as FWB. If I like a guy enough to be his friend, I automatically consider having him as a "boyfriend."

 

If I meet a guy (like this guy) who agrees from the start to the FWB, it seems okay to have sex with them on the first date. Otherwise, he may think I'm contradicting myself, or trying to have a serious relationship with him. That may scare him off because usually these type of guys have other girlfriends or something that they don't want to give up. If I show that I have deeper feelings, or intentions, they would be reluctant to get involved with me as a FWB.

 

I guess I thought the FWB was something where feelings don't get involved. And the only thing you have to agree on is sex. Lot's of sex! As often as neccesary. Are there any other suggestions, other than being friends first?

[Cupcake]

Sam and Eric haven't been talking lately. Eric called me a few days ago and was talking bad about how Sam was a dog and stuff. I was angry and asked how he got my number. Eventually, I told Eric not to ever call me again. Then I called Sam because I assumed he had given Eric the number. But Sam told me Eric had the number all along. He believed me when I told him I didn't give Eric the number. Then we both figured out how Eric got the number.

 

The day I gave Sam my phone number, Eric was with him. Eric memorized the digits while Sam stored the number in his cell phone. Niether Sam nor I had any idea that Eric was paying that much attention to us.

 

As things progress, rather quickly I'll admit, with Sam and I, Eric told Sam that I was a slut because I was trying to date them both. To prove it, Eric told sam that I gave him my phone number. Sam saw that Eric had my number and believed I gave it to him. Sam was upset.

 

The night Sam left me alone with Eric was a blatent action of disrespect. He wanted both Eric and I to know that he didn't care if we hooked up or not. And to insult Eric, Sam had sex with me first, and left the "sloppy" seconds for Eric.

 

What do you all think about this?? I feel really confused, angry, and wish I could turn it all around. Sam isn't sure what he wants to do now. He thinks I am a headache because guys give me too much attention. That causes him to have disputes with guys, including his best friend. But his friend is the one who betrayed him, not me. I wish Sam could see that I'm not decietful. I wish I could still have the FWB with Sam.

[newbby]

if these are the same guys you were talking about earlier, what are you doing still talking to either of them????

even if that second story is true, what a way to go about things!

[SuperMonk]

FWB is too much drama, Far too many posts reflect this - When a girl wants FWB I just point to the door.

[noclobber]

If you show people that you don't respect yourself, they aren't going to give you respect.

 

Star Gazer is right on!

 

I think that's what your problem is... unintentionally u gave the impression that u r too easy. But still that doesn't allow him to ask his friend to have sex with u. C'mon u r not a prostitute...

 

Have some respect for yourself and show the door to the guys that treat u like this!

[kitkat826]

Some people are weird or psychos, some are ignorant or immature, others are all of the above. You can't ever be 100% that a person won't turn out like this, but you can take certain precautions and play things a certain way to avoid mos of them.

 

My FWB is fairly successful I believe only because we dated for six months; I not only trust him but know that a relationship could never materialize, so I don't waste time agonizing over things gone wrong or our "future".

 

By the way, the whole Sam and Eric story was confusing and rather childish. Why even waste your time with them.

 

Cut your losses and move on. You can't always get a winner, just figure out how to play the game better and try again.