SmoochieFace Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Maybe I'm not explaining it very well then. B/c I'm talking about those guys who constantly cater to, serve, and pamper in the ways that Mr.B has, not ones who are just caring or attentive Maybe I'm not understanding it well either. It just sounds like more of the same ridiculous game-playing that I had to contend with way back. Act this way BUT don't do it too much or blah blah blah. It gets to be quite old and tiresome after a while and eventually it becomes much easier on the mind and body to just say "f*** it" when it comes to women. Better to be alone and happy than engaged in some kind of ridiculous contest of wits. A relationship and a good f*** aren't worth all that. I don't have any desire to be any sort of *challenge* to women... that's high school garbage. No wonder I didn't date in HS.
clandestinidad Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Thats interesting that you immediately revert to "oh, well thats just immaturity" and "game-playing" and 'I'm so glad I'm above that'....its actually a very real part of the female character. We dont like men that we can walk all over, bottom line. If someone has proven themselves to be someone we can walk all over, as MrB had, we wont pursue a real relationship with him. You have probably been successful in your relationship b/c you have balanced the catering/pampering with your strength of will, self-respect, etc. Theres no game playing to it. They just arent as attractive as the men who stand up for what they want/believe in. Now, as for the part about continuing to use him b/c it feels good to have all that attention, THAT is cruel and immature. They should be able to tell the person that they arent interested in them, and stop leading them on. You'd be amazed how many women, even ones in their 40's and on, dont do this and continue to lead them on b/c they are selfish and enjoy the attention, and have NO intention of dating them. I know married women do it too.... which leads me to the point that many married women have affairs b/c the other man is giving them lots of attention....but thats a diff. topic really...
SmoochieFace Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 We dont like men that we can walk all over, bottom line. If someone has proven themselves to be someone we can walk all over, as MrB had, we wont pursue a real relationship with him. Then why the stringing along crap? Why the *appearance* of interest on the part of women? Why won't they just come out and say that the guy's behaviour is crap? Are guys *expected* to know that? You have probably been successful in your relationship b/c you have balanced the catering/pampering with your strength of will, self-respect, etc. I am successful in my r/s cuz I am myself and I don't play games. I am a straight-shooter who doesn't BS his way around. I stand up for what I believe and I make no apologies for it. What you see is what you get. However, I STILL am a gentleman. Theres no game playing to it. They just arent as attractive as the men who stand up for what they want/believe in. It IS *game-playing* when the women string guys like Mr. B along and not come out and say upfront what he's doing wrong. Also *game-playing* when these women use guys like that in order to *feel better about themselves*. Now, as for the part about continuing to use him b/c it feels good to have all that attention, THAT is cruel and immature. They should be able to tell the person that they arent interested in them, and stop leading them on. Agreed AND that is why guys are confused about this. The WOMEN are the ones to blame for the confusion and even anger in men as a result of screwed-up messages the men are getting. Communication may help to eliminate these issues. I know married women do it too....which leads me to the point that many married women have affairs b/c the other man is giving them lots of attention....but thats a diff. topic really... No, it really isn't a different topic as affairs and this stringing along garbage have the same common denominator: SELFISHNESS and a lack of regard for other people's feelings.
Lil Honey Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Thats interesting that you immediately revert to "oh, well thats just immaturity" and "game-playing" and 'I'm so glad I'm above that'....its actually a very real part of the female character. We dont like men that we can walk all over, bottom line. Of course, there are those of us who wouldn't "walk all over" someone to begin with . . . You have probably been successful in your relationship b/c you have balanced the catering/pampering with your strength of will, self-respect, etc. Balance is the key in any relationship. Personally, I think that a woman who tries to walk all over someone is the unbalanced one and has a major ego issue, but that's just my opinion, of course. many married women have affairs b/c the other man is giving them lots of attention....but thats a diff. topic really... Or married women have affairs because they aren't getting any attention at home and feel like they are number 14 on his list of priorities . . . you know . . . after the cup holder . . .
loony Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Agreed AND that is why guys are confused about this. The WOMEN are the ones to blame for the confusion and even anger in men as a result of screwed-up messages the men are getting. Communication may help to eliminate these issues. Women often don't say anything for the same reason why men do not clearly say what they want and instead try it as just friends. They feel uncomfortable to approach a topic that they didn't start. And let's be honest, so-called nice guys often can act pretty crappy when you don't return their affection. It seems illogical to me, why I have to return feelings just because someone else has them for me. It's always nice to hear, "Well, you didn't deserve me anyway" or "I know how you really are and you will see that your ex is also not what you believe he is, you are wrong just as I was with you." There's a certain dishonesty about trying it via the friendship route. You try to befriend them and when you want more and don't get more you get angry. Now, is this screwed or not?
SmoochieFace Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 And let's be honest, so-called nice guys often can act pretty crappy when you don't return their affection. It seems illogical to me, why I have to return feelings just because someone else has them for me. It's always nice to hear, "Well, you didn't deserve me anyway" or "I know how you really are and you will see that your ex is also not what you believe he is, you are wrong just as I was with you." Yeah, well, guys who do that s*** aren't *nice guys*... god, I am so tired of people using the word *nice* to describe guys like that. It isn't *nice* - it's called *being a pr!ck*! There's a certain dishonesty about trying it via the friendship route. So you're telling me that it's dishonest to start out a relationship as friends? What should a relationship be based on if not friendship? Sex? You try to befriend them and when you want more and don't get more you get angry. Now, is this screwed or not? Guys who get *angry* like that have isues that need attention. THAT is immature behaviour.
clandestinidad Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Then why the stringing along crap? Why the *appearance* of interest on the part of women? Frankly, to keep the praise and attention coming. To keep the focus on us, and make them think they have a chance so they wont stop and find someone else....its awful, i know. And He11 no, guys arent supposed to know this stuff....most women dont want you to know we are capable of such blatent manipulation. (i dont usually have women friends for reasons such as this, if that helps you understand) SELFISHNESS and a lack of regard for other people's feelings Thats exactly the issue with people who do this 'stringing along crap'. And I agree that THAT is game-playing, definately I had originally thought that you were saying 'being unattracted/turned off by men that act like servants, but actually liking the attention from them' was game-playing. I dont know if something in our nature can be considered playing games. But I think its irrelevant now. We definately agree that its awful to treat people like that, and I hope MrB will stop putting so much effort into this selfish girl, and letting her use him like this
clandestinidad Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Of course, there are those of us who wouldn't "walk all over" someone to begin with . . . Very true....but I have done it before, and I guarantee at some point in life just about everyone has. Maybe just not as horribly as some others. If someone puts themselves in that position, its pretty easy to take advantage of it whether you realize youre doing it or not.
loony Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Yeah, well, guys who do that s*** aren't *nice guys*... god, I am so tired of people using the word *nice* to describe guys like that. It isn't *nice* - it's called *being a pr!ck*! Excuse me, are you not the one who always shouts out that the women who rejected you don't deserve you anyway? I do not see that much difference between your behavior and what I have experienced. There is always the constant complaint that women play games, are not honest, not straightforward, are going for the jerks, etc. This are typical complaints of "nice" guys.
SmoochieFace Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Frankly, to keep the praise and attention coming. To keep the focus on us, and make them think they have a chance so they wont stop and find someone else....its awful, i know. Purty *beep* stooopid if you ask me... more fun to *fly solo* than to have that crap foisted on me. And He11 no, guys arent supposed to know this stuff....most women dont want you to know we are capable of such blatent manipulation. ... Well, I guess the secret's been let out, doncha think?
clandestinidad Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 SF, I'm not saying that all women do this in all relationships I'm just saying that most women will do this to pathetic servants who put themselves in that position in the first place. You wont ever have a problem with this b/c you are stronger than that. You know how to balance being a caring gentleman with catering/pampering at the right times. You have earned respect from your SO by treating her well while staying strong and true to yourself at the same time. You dont bend over or lay down and worship her at every moment. The people that do that are the ones women walk all over
clandestinidad Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Well, I guess the secret's been let out, doncha think? yeah, thats why I've said all of this....I'm tired of seeing clueless men going around oblivious to women's (intended or unintended) manipulation....especially MrB
SmoochieFace Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Excuse me, are you not the one who always shouts out that the women who rejected you don't deserve you anyway? You watch your mouth. Don't get all uppity with me, young lady. There's your dose of *nice guy* for the week. Hope it tasted good. You point out exactly where I said that those women who rejected me didn't deserve me in the first place. Find the quote where I said that. And don't think of making any assumptions from all my posts... find where I said that women who reject me didn't deserve me.
noclobber Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 You try to befriend them and when you want more and don't get more you get angry. Now, is this screwed or not? loony i am as surprised about the female's perception of this situation exactly like how u r wondering about the male's point of view. i do not understand why women think its so bad if a guy friend of theirs wants something more out of the relationship. i agree that its wrong if u approach a woman under the guise of friendship but what is so wrong if feelings grow over a period of time? u know my situation.... my female friend told me the same thing and at one point even said that she felt betrayed b'cos i used the friendship as a cover to get closer to her. i told her in clear terms that when i met her initially i didn't have any feelings for her. furthermore she had a boyfriend.. after hanging out with her for a while my feelings for her grew and once she broke up with her boyfriend i told her about my feelings. what is so wrong in this? i told her i am not going shopping where i need to like something immediately in order to purchase it. i am dealing with human beings and some times u tend to grow on someone! one more thing, if the guy backs out after his female friend refuses to date him do not be so quick to call him names. imagine how tough it would be for the guy to continue to hang out with someone that has refused to return his feelings. if he is walking away that means he wants to protect his heart! that's what it means!! its not that "oh i am not gonna get poontang so i am not going to hang-out with u anymore". its emotionally difficult, for both the sexes, to hang out with ppl that do not return their affection.
SmoochieFace Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 loony i am as surprised about the female's perception of this situation exactly like how u r wondering about the male's point of view. i do not understand why women think its so bad if a guy friend of theirs wants something more out of the relationship. i agree that its wrong if u approach a woman under the guise of friendship but what is so wrong if feelings grow over a period of time? Exactly... and I am curious about this as well. Why is it so *bad* or, as was said earlier, *dishonest*?
loony Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Noclobber, you got it wrong. I understand that feelings can grow. I'm talking about guys who think they can make a claim on you, because they are your friend already. There is indeed a sense of entitlement that when you like her, she has to like you back or she is stupid, selfish, immature, etc. Sometimes a friend is just a friend and sometimes it's more. I prefer to be friends with someone and find him to be reliable and nice before I get involved with him. I absolutely think it's wrong not to befriend women. Of course, if you want to have the kind of relationship Alpha has go for his strategy, but I wouldn't recommend it if you wanted a serious relationship.
noclobber Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 There is indeed a sense of entitlement that when you like her, she has to like you back or she is stupid, selfish, immature, etc. that i agree without a doubt! if the guy thinks that she HAS to like him b'cos how wonderful he is as a friend and likes her so much then that's BS.. both the genders have the right to choose who they want to date.
SmoochieFace Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 that i agree without a doubt! if the guy thinks that she HAS to like him b'cos how wonderful he is as a friend and likes her so much then that's BS.. both the genders have the right to choose who they want to date. Absolutely! Any sense of entitlement to me is a huge red flag.
loony Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 You watch your mouth. Don't get all uppity with me, young lady. There's your dose of *nice guy* for the week. Hope it tasted good. You point out exactly where I said that those women who rejected me didn't deserve me in the first place. Find the quote where I said that. And don't think of making any assumptions from all my posts... find where I said that women who reject me didn't deserve me. From this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=661533 the following quote: These women were more into the physical aspects and they also subscribed to some ridiculous stereotypes about short men. Their loss in the end. You are criticizing people for not wanting you. If they have certain criteria you don't meet, you still don't have the right to complain about them.
clandestinidad Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 maybe yall can discuss that one on THAT thread sorry, that sounded pretty rude...didnt mean it to, I just thought we should stick to MrB's
SmoochieFace Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 From this thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=661533 the following quote: You are criticizing people for not wanting you. If they have certain criteria you don't meet, you still don't have the right to complain about them. ... Sorry, good try. An *A* for effort but an *F* for actual product. Saying "their loss in the end" doesn't mean "they didn't deserve me in the first place." The latter is indicative of a sour grapes attitude which certainly wouldn't apply if a woman rejects me and goes for a dumbass like my XW did. The former means basically "well, they chose to not be with me so they will miss out on some good times... oh well. Their loss. Next!"
Lil Honey Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Wowzers! Someone is certainly keeping track of the ol' Smoochie Face. SF: Apparently, you have a following.
SmoochieFace Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Doesn't bother me... hell, I'm thick-skinned enough! Valid point though... although I dunno if Mr. B has checked in here today or if we scared him off.
SmoochieFace Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 Wowzers! Someone is certainly keeping track of the ol' Smoochie Face. SF: Apparently, you have a following. Bunnies are irresistible. I mean, who could pass up on a sweet and cuddly lil guy like Arthur on the left. He's got quite a following in the warren too.
noclobber Posted December 28, 2005 Posted December 28, 2005 although I dunno if Mr. B has checked in here today or if we scared him off. i wud be happy if Mr.B says to himself -> "well, they chose to not be with me so they will miss out on some good times... oh well. Their loss. Next!" <with due apologies to SF for the blatant plaigiarism>
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