NightsEcho Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 Hello all, I am a 21 year-old male, from Canada. 7 Months ago, I went through the breakup of my g/f that hit me very hard. It was during this desperate phase, and asking Google for "Breakup Advice" That I came upon this site. I could spend hours rehashing the details so I'll break it into point form. - 3 1/2 year relationship to High School Sweetheart, ended when she found new friends, and needed space. - Within 2 weeks had a new guy, but I'm sure he was in the background to some degree for longer. - Strung me along for two months with I love you's and not being sure if we would reconcile -Found out from her best friend, that she kissed another guy...maybe more 6 months prior to breakup -Had Low contact and NC about 3 or 4 times usually lasting about 1-2 months. After all this we still sometimes talk on e-mail, and am still waiting to get some stuff back from her. She is moving away, and I have honestly killed most of the hope for reconcilliation. It hurt but I'm doing better. I'm in my 3rd year of business school, and I feel I have lot's to offer. Just kinda in Limbo. I have been dating, and did the almost obligatory rebound, but like most was merely a distraction. She tells me how happy she is, how busy, and how great her life is. I can't tell if it's real or not. My question is this. I went through th sadness, and also the period where I just drank and had fun, and hooked up and all that. Now I am at a point where I feel drained....and a lingering question of "now what?" I have had my fun, gotten over her for the most part, but am now not quite sure where to go from here. I can't party and hook up forever, but I did enjoy my vacation there. Can anyone tell me what the next sequence is. When do your emotions start coming back? Like they bounce and are on EXTREME for so long, then kinda go numb. Anyone else been through this? NE
jaye Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 Dude life is like a YOYO it goes up and down like that. or say like gas prices. i'm going throuh it but hasn't been completed so i say wait cus thats what i did. there's nothin much you can do.
brittanyjean259 Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 i dont want to give any false hope to you... but if i talked to my ex later on( when i know i still wouldetn be happy) id defently tell him how happy i am and my life is good.... if she was over you she wouldent tell you that stuff bc than she would be afraid of hurting your feelings but i could be wrong!!!
helena abadi Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 breaking up is kind of like a death. there are many stages of grief - being numb, angry, feeling good one day and crap the next, cherishing memories one moment and finding them too painful to think about the next, false hopes and despair. it does feel extreme. like a rollercoaster of emotion. i suggest you stop any contact with her for at least 3 months. it will help you heal, help you let go. there still looks as tho you have a little hope for reconciliation. if she says her life is great, all you can do is take it at face value and leave it at that. feeling numb might lessen then. feeling numb is your inner self blocking feelings. i think its kind of a self-preservation process in the short-term, but obviously you don't want to continue feeling like that any longer. examine what other things might bring joy into your life right now and go for them. they may not be the intimate joy you miss, but they will still bring benefits. vary your social activities, and do kind things for yourself. for example, regular exercise does a power of good. natural endorphins are our own easily-tapped source of joy. after such a long relationship, recovery takes a while. i hope one day you will meet someone else. you sound intelligent and aware, and someone out there will be lucky to be by your side.
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