Author SweetCharity Posted April 5, 2020 Author Posted April 5, 2020 21 minutes ago, Ellener said: @SweetCharity oh your family are probably stressed with the situation and acting out even more than usual, lots of people are right now. It's a bit pathetic but probably normal too. Now is probably not a good time to re-work your relationships with them but when this crisis passes maybe you should consider why your self-image is so wrapped up in what they think, and why you aren't just moving away from the criticism which is the price you pay for the security-blanket of being there? It clearly isn't helping you recover from depression to be with them. It's normal to care what the people you love think of you.
Ellener Posted April 5, 2020 Posted April 5, 2020 1 hour ago, SweetCharity said: It's normal to care what the people you love think of you. To some extent.
Author SweetCharity Posted April 5, 2020 Author Posted April 5, 2020 34 minutes ago, Ellener said: To some extent. That's true, and you're right. As another poster said, I'm codependent with my family. We're very close knit with families and aren't big on boundaries. As soon as I'm able, I'll move out. 2
preraph Posted April 5, 2020 Posted April 5, 2020 That way, you can still be close, but maybe they won't take you for granted or ride you so much because it won't be their business anymore. Also, when you have your own place, it's a funny thing. You can invite your mom over and she will likely be on better behavior and less critical than when you're on her turf. That was a pleasant surprise with my mom after I moved states. Much nicer when visiting me!
Author SweetCharity Posted April 6, 2020 Author Posted April 6, 2020 4 hours ago, preraph said: That way, you can still be close, but maybe they won't take you for granted or ride you so much because it won't be their business anymore. Also, when you have your own place, it's a funny thing. You can invite your mom over and she will likely be on better behavior and less critical than when you're on her turf. That was a pleasant surprise with my mom after I moved states. Much nicer when visiting me! Lol she'll never stop.
preraph Posted April 6, 2020 Posted April 6, 2020 I don't know. It's really rude for them to be mean to you when they're a guest in your home. They know you can stop asking them over.
Author SweetCharity Posted April 6, 2020 Author Posted April 6, 2020 2 hours ago, preraph said: I don't know. It's really rude for them to be mean to you when they're a guest in your home. They know you can stop asking them over. This is true but what can I do? 1
preraph Posted April 6, 2020 Posted April 6, 2020 Just make it your end goal to get your own place. I don't think it's going to cost you all that much more than what you're already paying if you have a roommate. Maybe you just need to work all the time you can work.
Author SweetCharity Posted April 6, 2020 Author Posted April 6, 2020 4 hours ago, preraph said: Just make it your end goal to get your own place. I don't think it's going to cost you all that much more than what you're already paying if you have a roommate. Maybe you just need to work all the time you can work. That's another thing. I've had terrible experiences with roommates. I'll probably try to live alone.
preraph Posted April 6, 2020 Posted April 6, 2020 Well, it's nicer to live alone usually, but you were saying you get lonely, so that's why I was saying maybe a roommate, for $$ and company, but yeah, you can get a crappy one! There are places to look like roommates.com to just check it out. 1
d0nnivain Posted April 7, 2020 Posted April 7, 2020 On 4/5/2020 at 3:11 PM, SweetCharity said: I know I've always had problems being able to support myself. I have a lot of debt and don't know how to manage money. The cockroaches do sound gross. With time on your hands, clean & bleach everything. talk to the landlord about the infestation & see if they will take steps to remediate the problem. With time on your hands learn more about managing your money. There are a lot of resources & budgeting tools. You have over come so much in your life. You can master your finances with a little effort. 1
Author SweetCharity Posted April 9, 2020 Author Posted April 9, 2020 On 4/7/2020 at 3:42 PM, d0nnivain said: The cockroaches do sound gross. With time on your hands, clean & bleach everything. talk to the landlord about the infestation & see if they will take steps to remediate the problem. With time on your hands learn more about managing your money. There are a lot of resources & budgeting tools. You have over come so much in your life. You can master your finances with a little effort. Thank you!
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