Malin889 Posted April 4, 2020 Posted April 4, 2020 So I've been talking to this guy for the last few days online, and it's obviously not the ideal time to get to know someone, or to go on dates, etc etc. Anyway, we've been chatting for a few days, and then we kind of ran out of things to talk about, because, at this point, in the regular world, we'd be making a date to go out. So I said, if you'd like, we can text, and hopefully eventually go out when the virus situation dies down. So he said, "maybe tomorrow" -- about going out. And gave me his number. I felt a little unsure about going out tomorrow, because there's not a lot to do... go for a walk? Get coffee? Not to mention, I don't know him, and don't know where's he's been exposed to. But I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Most coffee places by me are only open for drive through, or they're closed completely, and a lot of the parks are closed to the public as well. I looked around today and noticed that this beach I wanted to go to, and is a great place to walk, and very public and safe, is closed. Another walking area close to me is also closed. Anyway, he texts me a couple hours ago, asks me what I'm up to, I say I dropped off my daughter (at her dad's) and went to the shop for a few things. Then he says "I'll be right over". I don't know this man, and it makes me a little uneasy. I didn't reply. Then he waits awhile, then texts, "I guess you didn't find that funny." Ah, no, I didn't. I'm sure he was joking, but for some reason, it made me a little uneasy. Honestly I think he was waiting for my reply, and when I didn't reply, he said "I guess you didn't find it funny." I don't know if it's the virus situation, or the remark he made, but I'm just a little uneasy about meeting him tomorrow. It's not because it's an online date, because I've met plenty of people online. (Not during the virus, way before this was going on.) Am I making too much of it when someone makes a remark like that? I don't want to be a prude, but why do people think it's ok to say something like that? I just want to cancel. Even if we weren't in a pandemic, I'd still want to cancel because I don't appreciate people who I've never met saying things like that. 1
smackie9 Posted April 4, 2020 Posted April 4, 2020 (edited) why are you trying to meet up with anyone when you are supposed to limit your interaction with people and self isolate? You want your ex or you kid to get the virus? What if you get it? People of all ages are dying from it...egad woman. Please keep safe. Follows the rules in place. Yes cancel if you feel uneasy...follow your gut. Edited April 4, 2020 by smackie9 8 1
Mystery4u Posted April 4, 2020 Posted April 4, 2020 No you are not making too much of it, it's a very odd thing to say and I also don't see anything funny about it, especially someone you have only been talking to a few days via messages. If you want to cancel then go ahead and delete his number. And agreed, forget about meeting anyone for the time being. 3
stillafool Posted April 4, 2020 Posted April 4, 2020 I agree with Smackie. You shouldn't be meeting with anyone now because you might get exposed. You might bring something home to your kid. 3
Erik30 Posted April 4, 2020 Posted April 4, 2020 I agree with everyone else here, just cancel. You don't know if your date has recently been meeting up with other women he met online. (who may be infected) I think it's too risky to go on a date right now. I'm also not seeing anyone until this is over
Author Malin889 Posted April 4, 2020 Author Posted April 4, 2020 Thanks for your advice! I wasn't planning on dating during this time at all, I have too much to worry about with my daughter's health, my health, homeschooling, working from home, etc etc. Us chatting online just happened, and I was thinking he'd say, "sure, let's meet up in a couple months" or something, not "tomorrow". Thanks, I don't know why I needed other people to tell me I was doing/feeling the right thing. I always feel guilty about cancelling on a date, even with a guy who makes me feel uncomfortable and uses that line. I blocked him.
Interstellar Posted April 5, 2020 Posted April 5, 2020 (edited) His joke is a little out of line considering what’s going on right now. Self-isolation is way more important right now. Your own health and well-being is way more important right now. If you get sick then you can’t date either. Forget about dating, since we have no idea how long this is gonna last. Edited April 5, 2020 by Interstellar 1
Versacehottie Posted April 5, 2020 Posted April 5, 2020 At best his sense of humor is flawed or not that good, inappropriate considering the situation (that he hasn't developed a rapport with you) and at worst he is a creep. I think he was throwing that line out there disguised as a joke to see if you would bite. I think probably just best to put the whole online dating or dating new people on hold until this passes. 3
Blind-Sided Posted April 5, 2020 Posted April 5, 2020 Yep... DO NOT meet someone new right now. Even for a walk. The only people I have come in contact with, are people I can trust, and who have been quarantined themselves. And then I still keep my distance. This guy is making comments that are inappropriate for someone you don't know if they are even joking or not. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 5, 2020 Posted April 5, 2020 (edited) I think he was horny and was hoping you are DTF. Edited April 5, 2020 by Eternal Sunshine 1
smackie9 Posted April 5, 2020 Posted April 5, 2020 Sounds to me he one of many that are bored out of their mind and use dating apps to pass the time.
dangerous Posted April 5, 2020 Posted April 5, 2020 2 hours ago, smackie9 said: Sounds to me he one of many that are bored out of their mind and use dating apps to pass the time. I agree that is the main use of OLD right now.
Ellener Posted April 5, 2020 Posted April 5, 2020 4 hours ago, dangerous said: I agree that is the main use of OLD right now. I think that is probably the main use of OLD in normal circumstances But everyone's right @Malin889 I'm not meeting people I do know right now, even my son elbow-bumped me last time we saw each other... Stay home and wait it out.
IntBrowser Posted April 6, 2020 Posted April 6, 2020 On 4/4/2020 at 7:19 PM, smackie9 said: why are you trying to meet up with anyone when you are supposed to limit your interaction with people and self isolate? You want your ex or you kid to get the virus? What if you get it? People of all ages are dying from it...egad woman. Please keep safe. Follows the rules in place. Yes cancel if you feel uneasy...follow your gut. The warmer it gets it going to be hard for grown people to be penpals. I myself plan to meet somewhere at a park in May and keep my distance. Even if its brief during the afternoon on a saturday. I mean if not then maybe the online dating apps should be locked because people are going to meet as you can see
IntBrowser Posted April 6, 2020 Posted April 6, 2020 On 4/4/2020 at 7:22 PM, Mystery4u said: No you are not making too much of it, it's a very odd thing to say and I also don't see anything funny about it, especially someone you have only been talking to a few days via messages. If you want to cancel then go ahead and delete his number. And agreed, forget about meeting anyone for the time being. I said something similar but put this in front of it after I found out she likes seafood "Well I will be exploring some seafood restaurants for us to go in the future or may have to just have seafood here and order from grubhub but not before we chat on the phone first lol Her response was......."sounds good"
smackie9 Posted April 6, 2020 Posted April 6, 2020 16 hours ago, IntBrowser said: The warmer it gets it going to be hard for grown people to be penpals. I myself plan to meet somewhere at a park in May and keep my distance. Even if its brief during the afternoon on a saturday. I mean if not then maybe the online dating apps should be locked because people are going to meet as you can see People just have to be smart about it is all. I keep reading that people are meeting at each other's place and ignoring the safety measures needed. Is it really that worth it? The risk of getting sick, even dying? If I was stuck at home to protect myself, dating would be the last thing on my mind. 1
FMW Posted April 6, 2020 Posted April 6, 2020 I agree with smackie. I'm single, I'm home alone for the duration. Yes, I absolutely miss spending time with the guy I was seeing, I miss physical touch, kissing, sex. But good grief, it's only for a few months. Especially if you don't even really know someone yet - what's the urgency? Maybe spend this time working on being good on your own so that you have more to offer someone else when the lock downs are over.
Author Malin889 Posted April 7, 2020 Author Posted April 7, 2020 On 4/5/2020 at 10:52 AM, smackie9 said: Sounds to me he one of many that are bored out of their mind and use dating apps to pass the time. Agree!
Author Malin889 Posted April 7, 2020 Author Posted April 7, 2020 3 hours ago, FMW said: I agree with smackie. I'm single, I'm home alone for the duration. Yes, I absolutely miss spending time with the guy I was seeing, I miss physical touch, kissing, sex. But good grief, it's only for a few months. Especially if you don't even really know someone yet - what's the urgency? Maybe spend this time working on being good on your own so that you have more to offer someone else when the lock downs are over. I agree - I wasn't planning on meeting anyone, we were chatting and he asked me to meet up the next day. It weirded me out to be honest. It's one thing if he was a friend of mine or someone I knew, but I didn't even know him. I blocked him after his remark. I don't even want to talk to people online anymore, because I couldn't meet them if I wanted to.
smackie9 Posted April 7, 2020 Posted April 7, 2020 I understand you are looking for someone that can at least have meaningful conversations, not for the sake of self indulgence. This crisis is really bring the selfish out of a lot of people. 1
Versacehottie Posted April 7, 2020 Posted April 7, 2020 I think the majority of guys fall in like or even love with some physical presence whereas a decent amount of women could get excited by the reverse, talking, messaging, phone calls (just a generalization that I think holds true since guys constantly say they don't want a penpal and are told by other guys to push to meet, etc). Therefore you are probably spinning your wheels if a connection isn't already in place to start new ones. Maybe more of a needle in a haystack type thing than usual with OLD. I think if you are already talking to someone sure keep the momentum going. You just have to have strong enough boundaries that you use good common sense, which at the moment (in US at least) would mean you shouldn't meet up at all until this is over. If he's a good guy who is genuinely interested and similarly has good common sense (and what other type would you want honestly?!?!), he should have no problem with it. Just a note, that unless a guy has truly INVESTED in you (which may be hard to do given the limitations of dating right now), I don't believe that all of them would put in a ton of effort even if they do have a potential to like you if normal dating can occur. Guys are so linear so unless they see how the outcome would be a lot of them don't get why they would or should put in "effort" that doesn't pay off or goes kind of nowhere (not exactly true but how they view it). Ok, good luck
Author Malin889 Posted April 14, 2020 Author Posted April 14, 2020 On 4/7/2020 at 10:20 AM, smackie9 said: I understand you are looking for someone that can at least have meaningful conversations, not for the sake of self indulgence. This crisis is really bring the selfish out of a lot of people. So true! And yes, that's what I'm looking for. I decided to nix the online dating. I'm so sick of it lol.
Miss Spider Posted April 14, 2020 Posted April 14, 2020 10 minutes ago, Malin889 said: So true! And yes, that's what I'm looking for. I decided to nix the online dating. I'm so sick of it lol. You’re quitting? How come? (Besides what happened here) Curious about your experience bc I am thinking about joining
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