John012 Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 Hi, I'm new to these forums and have a story to tell about a girl a know who has been giving me very strange signals... I hope someone who reads this can advise me on what to do. I met this girl about 5 months ago through mutual friends while we were commuting to work. We both work in the same company but for the most part our interactions took place on the train with our friends. Anyway, I felt an attraction for this girl the moment I saw her. What’s more, I felt that she wanted me too. I knew this because every time I was around she would stare directly at me. Usually she would give me a big smile – you know, that “come and talk to me, I want you” smile. There were times when I’d be walking by and she’d be sitting around with her friends and she’d just stare at me. The funny thing was, whenever we did talk the conversation was a bit stunted. I have to admit I did get a bit nervous when talking to her and that made things difficult, but all the non-verbal signals she was giving off told me she was interested. Sometimes I get a bit insecure and I let the fact that we didn’t talk much discourage me from being more aggressive in my pursuit. And I think I may have left her with the impression that I wasn’t interested. Anyway, this went on for nearly 5 months until I decided that I didn’t want to waste any more time and just wanted to ask her out. I finally did get around to asking her one day in the canteen. So I started a conversation and told her that I liked her and that I was wondering if she wanted to go do something with me some time. Her reaction wasn’t what I expected, but it wasn’t bad either. Basically, she said that she didn’t know about a date but that we could do something with our friends. She specifically said that whenever I’m in town we could get together with the guys and go for a drink. Then one of her friends came along and she said she’d talk to me about it later. So I went away without a clear answer, but I was still hopeful. However, her behaviour since then has really confused me. She basically began ignoring me. Whenever I see her now, whether it’s in the canteen or walking by each other on the campus – I get nothing. She won’t even say hello to me. She walks by as if I don’t even exist. The first time she did this I thought it was just my imagination, but she kept on doing it. Since she obviously didn’t want to speak to me at the moment, I decided that maybe I could get a clear answer by emailing her. I sent her an email inviting her out to play badminton with a couple of our mutual friends. I thought that if she was interested then going out to play sports would be a good way to get things going slowly. But if she wasn’t, this would be an easy way for her to tell me that she wasn’t interested, by making some sort of excuse. But she didn’t reply. Looking back on when I asked her out I sometimes think that she meant that we should be just friends. But her behaviour in the 5 months before that and the fact that she said we should go out and do something with the guys gave me the impression that she was interested and just wanted to take it slow. It’s been just over a week since I asked her out and she’s been ignoring me since then. To be honest I have no way to explain her behaviour and since she won’t talk to me or reply to my email (I only sent her that one) I’m really stumped as to what to do next. I do really like her and want to pursue a serious relationship (or least give it a go) but what I really don’t want is to be wasting my time or bothering a girl I don’t have a chance with. I know this has been a long post so thanks to anyone who took the time to read it. Any comments or advice would be greatly appreciated…
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