Blueyes2791 Posted April 3, 2020 Posted April 3, 2020 Hi everyone. So I’ve been going out with this. We’ve been going out since July. We saw each other last night. She got a text from her neighbor who she said she thinks is really weird and is a creep. So I know she doesn’t like him. But she said something really weird. She lives at home with her parents and her sister. My gf said her neighbors fam is just like hers except instead of the two daughters it’s two guys. She’s like we all have grown up together and we should like marry each other cuz we’ve known each other forever. I didn’t say anything. I’m thinking wtf what about me. She doesn’t even talk to him so it’s not like I’m worried about him. But I’m just thinking that was a stupid thing to say. Does she not see me as a bf? Cuz I’m a relationship I wouldn’t think u would say that BUT I mean we made out rigjt after and she said she’s seeing me Sunday so I’m thinking that her comment was just something like a stupid joke.
rjc149 Posted April 3, 2020 Posted April 3, 2020 It was a harmless joke. And maybe a small test to see how you'd react. Women will often test and probe for reactions in men they're with, to see how they handle themselves. Are you confident, secure, easy-going and non-reactive? Are you strong enough to be her man? Or will some harmless passing comment, obviously said in jest, make you insecure and jealous? 2 1
Malin889 Posted April 3, 2020 Posted April 3, 2020 It sounds like it was just a joke. Don’t worry. I mean, I wouldn’t say it to someone I’m seeing, but maybe she feels comfortable enough in your relationship that she feels like she can say anything 1
poppyfields Posted April 3, 2020 Posted April 3, 2020 (edited) OMG dude, it was a joke! Lol A tongue-n-cheeky type of joke. Try and relax, okay? Life is too damn short to be taking such a playful comment so seriously. Banter like that can be a good thing, have fun with it. Next time she tosses one out like that, shoot her back one of your own! Or tease her about it. It's all good mate. Edited April 3, 2020 by poppyfields 1
FMW Posted April 3, 2020 Posted April 3, 2020 Yes, it was just a joke. I get thinking "hey wait..." for just a second when she said it, but it's certainly not something you should still be thinking about. 1
smackie9 Posted April 3, 2020 Posted April 3, 2020 It was a joke...stop being so sensitive. Does her actions not prove anything? 1
poppyfields Posted April 3, 2020 Posted April 3, 2020 1 hour ago, rjc149 said: Women will often test and probe for reactions in men they're with, to see how they handle themselves. ^^Smart man. 1
justwhoiam Posted April 3, 2020 Posted April 3, 2020 2 hours ago, Blueyes2791 said: We’ve been going out since July. "Going out" for 8 months... is that like an open relationship? Or you call each other boyfriend/girlfriend? Are you exclusive? Quote She’s like we all have grown up together and we should like marry each other cuz we’ve known each other forever. I didn’t say anything. I’m thinking wtf what about me. Why didn't you say anything?? I don't get it. Is it because you were so slow that you processed what she said only later on? Or you went in shock mode inside? Your WTF reaction happened just later on or right away, but you wanted to act cool? If it's the latter, you should have been more spontaneous. Quote Does she not see me as a bf? Wild guesses of this kind only lead to overthinking. Not worth it. Now bringing that up is stupid. You should have done it right away. Quote Cuz I’m a relationship I wouldn’t think u would say that BUT I mean we made out rigjt after and she said she’s seeing me Sunday so I’m thinking that her comment was just something like a stupid joke. Well, it sounds like a take-one-day-at-a-time kind of "relationship". May I know why you don't spend Saturday night together? 2
rjc149 Posted April 3, 2020 Posted April 3, 2020 3 hours ago, Blueyes2791 said: she thinks is really weird and is a creep...She’s like we all have grown up together and we should like marry each other cuz we’ve known each other forever. I didn’t say anything. A good response would be something like "your kids with him would be soooo creepy" with a smirk. 2
preraph Posted April 3, 2020 Posted April 3, 2020 I just want to make sure you're in a romantic relationship with her. Do you at least kiss and everything on a regular basis?
scooby-philly Posted April 3, 2020 Posted April 3, 2020 Agreed - harmless joke (and perhaps a little "test"). Just out of curiosity - what are the ages involved of the 4 of them and how close are these "neighbors".
Ellener Posted April 3, 2020 Posted April 3, 2020 7 hours ago, Blueyes2791 said: She got a text from her neighbor who she said she thinks is really weird and is a creep. So I know she doesn’t like him. I think that's the only 'red flag' for me, why someone would be texting with someone they dislike/disrespect...I don't much like two-faced people.
Mystery4u Posted April 4, 2020 Posted April 4, 2020 As mentioned it's confusing what your actual status is with this woman? You say does she not see you as her boyfriend - well that depends, are you her boyfriend? Did you ask her to be your girlfriend? Are you in an exclusive relationship? If you have been going out since last July I very well hope so as that is a very very long time to be dating someone and not be in a relationship with them. If you are in a relationship with her then what she said is completely out of line and not a 'joke' as other people seem to suggest. You don't 'joke' about marrying someone else, especially someone you know such as a neighbour, while in a relationship.
preraph Posted April 4, 2020 Posted April 4, 2020 Since you didn't answer, I'm just going to say if you haven't been making out with her and kissing on a regular basis and recently, you're not dating, you're just friends. If you are having romantic relations with her and sex and everything, no reason to blow up what she said. but if she's told you you're not her boyfriend then I think that speaks for itself.
chillii Posted April 4, 2020 Posted April 4, 2020 (edited) 14 hours ago, poppyfields said: ^^Smart man. Your kidding right ? lf it's not a joke it's a fishing tease for a reaction and hopefully showing something about how your feeling, comments like that are pretty common testing the water especially after 8mths , she wouldn't givafk how he handles himself right now. Edited April 4, 2020 by chillii
poppyfields Posted April 4, 2020 Posted April 4, 2020 (edited) 9 hours ago, chillii said: Your kidding right ? lf it's not a joke it's a fishing tease for a reaction and hopefully showing something about how your feeling, comments like that are pretty common testing the water especially after 8mths , she wouldn't givafk how he handles himself right now. No I wasn't kidding chilli, if my bf said that to me I would have taken as a playful joke, a, tease, playful banter. And would have tossed him one back! Banter, playful tease is part of our relationship, but I get it may not be for every couple. Re what rjc said about women "testing" I think both men and women do their fair share of shyt testing each other, whether they're aware of it or not. Ya gotta be able to determine what's a playful shyt test or tease and when to take someone seriously. JMO and this is assuming OP is her bf, I hardly think she would have made such a comment if she were serious about it. It's funny, I have three sisters, and when growing up, our neighbors cross the street had five boys, one was the same age as me. Our parents always used to say from the like the age of 6 how nice it would be if when we got older, we would date and marry, then we'd all be like one big family! Well as it turned out, he's gay so marrying not possible but my mum still mentions it sometimes, teasingly, playfully. I've even teased a few of my bfs about it, and they laughed!! There's no wrong or right, is there? Someone might take it seriously, another would not. It depends whether teasing, playful banter is part of their dynamic or not, and again assuming they're bf/gf, I just don't think she would have made a comment like that if she were serious. To me, she was sharing the irony of the situation, that's all. Edited April 4, 2020 by poppyfields
Poutrew Posted April 4, 2020 Posted April 4, 2020 I can't believe I'm pretty much the only one here that thinks this is no joke. If they grew up together, they have had a lot of time to get used to each other. How many times were the two boys and the two sisters in the closet playing 'doctor' while they were growing up? You will never know. Whenever a woman has gone out of her way to tell me what an ugly, perverted, sick, creep some guy is, it has been the exact opposite. Take her statement as the only confession she will give you - if you are smart enough to figure it out. I'd next this gal, or only keep her around as a bedwarmer... Caveat emptor, as they say.
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