Here we go again with another woman.

[Kballer]

At this point in time.. I think any attempt at dating ANYONE, regardless of how you might meet them is just wasted time and energy. Most businesses are closed. What exactly are you going to do for a date right now? I guess nature, outdoors, stuff is still a "go".. But, with CV19 on everyones mind... Really, how successful do you think that plan is going to be?

I'll say this-I never knew I had so many "girlfriends" until this CV19 started getting serious.. Now, every girl I've dated over the last 6 months has been texting me asking favors.... I'm like "WTF?".. We did not work out well dating, and now that the S is hitting the fan you think it's cool to contact me for favors? Weird s*** happening right now. No... I've not responded to ANY of them.. And will not respond to any of them.. Not only am I not actively looking to date anyone, but I'm giving that sideways "what the hell are you thinking?" glance to anyone now that is randomly reaching out to me..   I'd no sooner go out on a "date" right now, then actively volunteer at the local CV19 infectious center. It is what it is. My life is COMPLETE-I need nothing to add to it to make it whole.  I find it comical that when things are good, people are "too busy" to take dating seriously.. Now that there is potential social collapse, they are reaching out to anyone who is strong enough, or financially secure enough, to get them through this... Thanks... But, not thanks... I'm not looking down on, or belittling anyones situation. I simply recognize that when you are not secure in your own world that it's easier to reach out, or ask for help, in times of need. I'm not insecure and there is NOTHING that anyone else has that I need to get through this... When you think about it that way.. Dating seems like a joke right now. I would not trust any woman that is seeking a relationship right now as I would always fear that when things socially improve, and she no longer fears being on her own, that she would be gone in a heartbeat. Again... Just not worth the gamble right now.

Find comfort and peace within yourself and you will never be short on what is important in life. Having a life partner is a bonus-NOT a requirement to a good, happy, fulfilled, life.

[Juha]

No, she has not contacted me.  lol

 

Just wanted to add, seems like people are not sure about what went on from some of the responses.

 

We have known each other for about two months.  We have been out three times, last week for coffee and walk in park.

Which is where she said it was good to be out with me, we should do something next week as things have been so messed up.

She likes to go hiking, which is why I suggested a 2-3 hour hike with picnic lunch when I contacted her Monday for this weekend.

This was not a weekend away.  

 

We had not been out for around 3 weeks due to our schedules not matching, due to work, family, Covid 19, etc.

We had been talking the whole time and she does have kids which were now home so it was tough to meet up.

 

Just really mind boggling how someone just goes from enjoying time with someone to ignoring them.  

I seem to find them though.

 

Before I had been dating single divorced mothers and grew tired of how flaky and messed up they were.

Sorry ladies, that is based off of my personal experience.  So I stopped dating them.

Unfortunately that seems to be the largest demographic available to my age group.

So not sure what I am going to do when things go back to semi normalcy as far as trying to date

 

Thanks for all the thoughts...appreciated 

[Trail Blazer]

Honestly, I'd avoid dating divorced moms.  Any decent mom will make her children her first priority.  That means, you'll always play second fiddle, and never really know where you stand.  

I have two children myself, so I've always been more than willing to date single moms.  In fact, I tended to gravitate more to them as it was an initial thing we had in common.

After my own divorce, my subsequent dating experience taught me a hell of a lot about the single mother psyche.

A single mother's focus is on her kids.  Somewhere along the lines, she realizes that she's lonely, bored and no longer wishes to be defined solely as a mother.  So, she ventures into the world of dating.

Armed with her learned experiences from one or many failed relationships, as well as the weight on her shoulders of presumably having to balance a multitude of tasks like work and or study, with raising a child, her hypervigilance is understandable.

A single mother will only be assessing you based on what you can provide her and her children. 

It's normal for any male of almost all species to have to court a woman at the initial stages.  However, unlike human beings, many animal species will kill the young progeny of another male, as opposed to being expected to help raise them.

Unless you find a single mother who has a healthy child support/alimony payment coming in, or her ex has 50 percent custody of the children, you can expect a single mother to be overburdened with responsibility raising that child.  That means, her focus will rarely be on you or your happiness.

I have nothing against single mothers.  I was raised by one since I was three.  I am the man I am today because of her dedication and sacrifice raising me.  I was her number one priority to which she devoted most of her time and resources to.

However, it is exactly what made my mom such a good mom, which also would have made her not the most ideal partner.  She started dating when I was 16, and since has had a couple of relationships, one which has been happily ongoing for eleven years.

The point is, I don't think dating a single mother under most regular circumstances can work unless an incredible about of sacrifice (and resources) is provided by the man, to bridge the gap of her lack of investment into the relationship.

Remember, she's investing in her children.  You need to convince her why you're worthy of being allowed into her domain.  Do that and you'll need to keep up that, lest you wish to be cast aside for justifiably (in her mind) not adding value to the life of her and her children.