X1 anti Posted April 2, 2020 Posted April 2, 2020 This girl and I dated last summer, connection was there, everything seemed effortless and easy then out of nowhere she blew me off (after she contacted me to setup a 4th date). She left me a voicemail apologizing but it wasn’t something I could look past so we parted ways. anyways, I reached out to her first week of February to try and rekindle things with her and she called me almost immediately and we made plans for her to come over to my place. She drove 40 minutes, brought a bottle of wine and skipped her meditation class. It was the first time we saw each other in 6 months. We drove to get pizza together, I reached out and we held hands while I was driving. We got back to my place and talked for a good 30-45 minutes then she suggested we go to the couch. She mentioned how she thought about me a lot when we were apart. She started putting on lip gloss and I asked her if she was priming her lips before we make out, we both laughed.. A few moments later I told her it was time for her to bring those beautiful lips over here and kiss me, I touched her face and we kissed passionately for a few seconds before she pulled away. Didn’t make anything of it and resumed watching tv together. She held my hand and laid her head on my shoulder a few moments Later so I went back in for the kiss and she pulled away again and said she had to go. I told her no worries and walked her to the car. she texted me the following day (she was leaving for Colorado 5 days later) and she it was great seeing me and hopes I have a great day. I tried to setup another date but she was working everyday til vacation and told her to contact me when she gets back and we’ll see each other then. She texted me again the following morning and said she was thinking about me. so we were out of touch her trip to Colorado (Valentine’s Day trip) and she contacts me the day she gets back, I call her, she answers immediately even tho she was at some kind of appointment and we make plans for us to make dinner at my place. Day of the date she says she’s really sick and asked if she could call me. I was busy and wasn’t able to talk. Told her I hope she feels better and to call me when she’s better and we’ll reschedule. She told me to call her when I’m free, if not we’ll talk later that week. We haven’t talked since then and it’s been almost 2 months. I looked her up on Instagram (she don’t follow each other) and saw a picture of her and a guy. She went with another guy to Colorado and she may or may not had a boyfriend the whole time. I never asked or contacted her again. I’ve seen pics and videos of them in Costa Rica together too since then. Maybe she was gravitating towards me and he pulled her away last second? I’m seeing other women but this one knocked my socks off and she left me scratching my head. Was she just toying with me? Why put in all that effort? thanks for the feedback.
ExpatInItaly Posted April 2, 2020 Posted April 2, 2020 45 minutes ago, X1 anti said: so we were out of touch her trip to Colorado (Valentine’s Day trip) and she contacts me the day she gets back, I call her, she answers immediately even tho she was at some kind of appointment and we make plans for us to make dinner at my place. Day of the date she says she’s really sick and asked if she could call me. I was busy and wasn’t able to talk. Told her I hope she feels better and to call me when she’s better and we’ll reschedule. She told me to call her when I’m free, if not we’ll talk later that week. We haven’t talked since then and it’s been almost 2 months. Well...did you call her?
Author X1 anti Posted April 2, 2020 Author Posted April 2, 2020 No, she said to call her if I was free and if not we’d talk later this week and I just saw her post a picture of her and a guy as a couple on IG a day before she bailed on me. Would you call her? I told her when she’s feeling better to reach out and we’d reschedule
ExpatInItaly Posted April 2, 2020 Posted April 2, 2020 (edited) 1 minute ago, X1 anti said: No, she said to call her if I was free and if not we’d talk later this week and I just saw her post a picture of her and a guy as a couple on IG a day before she bailed on me. Would you call her? I told her when she’s feeling better to reach out and we’d reschedule This was your mistake, dude. I'm a woman. If I'd had to reschedule and tried to call you to discuss, got you at a busy time, and asked you to call me when you're free and you never did? I'd assume you weren't interested. Why didn't you call her? Edited April 2, 2020 by ExpatInItaly
Author X1 anti Posted April 2, 2020 Author Posted April 2, 2020 How was that my mistake? I never said I would call her, she told me to call her and I was busy. She cancelled on me 5 hours before our date and posts pictures of her and another guy. By the time I was free, it was after 10pm
Miss Spider Posted April 2, 2020 Posted April 2, 2020 (edited) Wow. Yes I remember your story and my opinion remains the same. She is just dating guys, trying to find a spark, and was attempting to see if anything was there, but there wasn’t any for her, so she’s moved on. Sorry you liked her, but this is not unusual at all and is what the dating process is about. I guess one thing I would suggest is next time don’t use the “bring those beautiful lips over here “ Line. That’s just my personal preference, but I also feel you’d need to be dripping Rico sauve sauce to pull that off with anyone , Actually no. Just don’t use it Edited April 2, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
Author X1 anti Posted April 2, 2020 Author Posted April 2, 2020 (edited) If there wasn’t any spark for her then why continue to reach out numerous times after she came over? Why contact me the day you get back from vacation (it shows she was thinking about me when she was with this other guy) to facilitate getting together. If there was no spark then she wouldn’t have made all that effort AFTER the date. She was doing all the chasing after that. I didn’t have to do anything other than reciprocate and make plans Edited April 2, 2020 by X1 anti 1
ExpatInItaly Posted April 2, 2020 Posted April 2, 2020 (edited) 5 minutes ago, X1 anti said: How was that my mistake? I never said I would call her, she told me to call her and I was busy. She cancelled on me 5 hours before our date and posts pictures of her and another guy. By the time I was free, it was after 10pm Maybe I don't understand the timeline. She canceled your date, and then posted pictures of a different guy right after? The same day? Is that why you decided not to call her? I don't get why you didn't just call her the next day, if you felt it was too late after 10pm. Unless of course you had seen photos with the other guy by then. Can you clarify? Edited April 2, 2020 by ExpatInItaly
Miss Spider Posted April 2, 2020 Posted April 2, 2020 (edited) 5 minutes ago, X1 anti said: If there wasn’t any spark for her then why continue to reach out numerous times after she came over? Why contact me the day you get back from vacation (it shows she was thinking about me when she was with this other guy) to facilitate getting together. If there was no spark then she wouldn’t have made all that effort AFTER the date That’s not much effort lol. effort is going on more dates. Stringing a guy along through text is not much effort. she probably wasn’t sure so she is juggling prospective partners ultimately going out with the one she’s feeling the most . It’s dating Edited April 2, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
Author X1 anti Posted April 2, 2020 Author Posted April 2, 2020 The picture was posted the day before she bailed
ExpatInItaly Posted April 2, 2020 Posted April 2, 2020 Just now, X1 anti said: The picture was posted the day before she bailed Then case closed, no? She's decided to go with that guy.
Miss Spider Posted April 2, 2020 Posted April 2, 2020 (edited) Tons of people out there and people gonna focus on the one person not interested Edited April 2, 2020 by Cookiesandough
Author X1 anti Posted April 2, 2020 Author Posted April 2, 2020 4 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: That’s not much effort lol. effort is going on more dates. Stringing a guy along through text is not much effort. I said she wasn’t sure so she is juggling prospective partners ultimately going out with the one she’s feeling the most . It’s dating You’d know whether or not there was a spark when we dated in the summer so for her to come over to my place and make all of that effort to see me shows that something was there. Maybe her and this guy have been on and off for awhile and she took the cowardly route of just ghosting me or maybe she wanted to tell me over the phone and not through text. No clue. When I turned her down after she blew me off last summer (I was very polite about it) she actually blocked me on social media a few days after then unblocked me a week after (we don’t follow each other, she doesn’t know I know she has IG and vice versa). Maybe this was the bandaid for the wound she experienced from me turning her down. She’s the type that never gets rejected by men. Maybe this was her way of getting back at me for rejecting her? Who the hell knows
ExpatInItaly Posted April 2, 2020 Posted April 2, 2020 If it's been 2 months since you last spoke, I would say your best bet is stop analyzing what might have happened and keep on truckin'. It didn't work out, but there's no sense going over the minutiae anymore. Chalk it up to a mismatch and put it behind you. 2
Miss Spider Posted April 2, 2020 Posted April 2, 2020 Just now, X1 anti said: You’d know whether or not there was a spark when we dated in the summer so for her to come over to my place and make all of that effort to see me shows that something was there. Maybe her and this guy have been on and off for awhile and she took the cowardly route of just ghosting me or maybe she wanted to tell me over the phone and not through text. No clue. When I turned her down after she blew me off last summer (I was very polite about it) she actually blocked me on social media a few days after then unblocked me a week after (we don’t follow each other, she doesn’t know I know she has IG and vice versa). Maybe this was the bandaid for the wound she experienced from me turning her down. She’s the type that never gets rejected by men. Maybe this was her way of getting back at me for rejecting her? Who the hell knows Could be. People generally don’t blow off dates with people they are interested in without making a new suggestion enthusiastically. If she did make a new suggestion and you turned her down, I can see why she would lose interest. That’s not cool. Things happen. To be frank, if a guy did that to me I would not be that interested in him anymore either. Ultimately, you guys just aren’t a match.
Miss Spider Posted April 2, 2020 Posted April 2, 2020 (edited) Also , never confuse a woman’s willingness to text/chat with actual romantic interest!! .It’s common knowledge that a lot of women like to talk and have orbiters they keep around for this sole purpose. She will throw a “let’s meet up sometime” bone . This is a common strategy to keep a guy in orbit Edited April 2, 2020 by Cookiesandough 2
Erik30 Posted April 2, 2020 Posted April 2, 2020 1 hour ago, Cookiesandough said: I guess one thing I would suggest is next time don’t use the “bring those beautiful lips over here “ Line. It's a "classic" Corey Wayne line... guess that doesn't work 1
Miss Spider Posted April 2, 2020 Posted April 2, 2020 39 minutes ago, Erik30 said: It's a "classic" Corey Wayne line... guess that doesn't work Haha are you serious. I should have known ...
poppyfields Posted April 2, 2020 Posted April 2, 2020 (edited) I mean no disrespect X1 anti, but what I’m sensing is that you just cannot believe that a woman would not be interested in you, or lose interest. Me thinks you’ve met your match in her, and I agree with Expat, I think you blew it when, after she asked you to call her when you’re free, you never did. That suggests lack of interest on your part, and who cares that she has a pic of herself with another guy on her IG, you weren’t dating at that time were you? She has the right to have whatever pics of other guys she wants to have on IG, FB, or where ever else. Are you sure it’s not just your ego that’s bruised here? The below is what stood out for me from your original post. "Day of the date she says she’s really sick and asked if she could call me. I was busy and wasn’t able to talk. Told her I hope she feels better and to call me when she’s better and we’ll reschedule. She told me to call her when I’m free, if not we’ll talk later that week. We haven’t talked since then and it’s been almost 2 months." I mean, I am seriously thinking how much do YOU care? She was sick and you were too “busy” to take her call? NOT the actions of a man who cares. Also you had an opportunity to see her again, after she asked you to call her when you’re free to reschedule, and what do you do? NOTHING. You don’t call, you don’t text, nothing, you basically blew her off! NOT the actions of a man who is interested. If that had happened to me, yeah it’s a big next no matter how attracted to him I was. Per Corey Wayne or whatever other PUA gurus you're listening to, you expected her to call you, to chase you, she didn’t and now you got your knickers in a knot, that’s my take. I apologize if this comes off harsh, but I really do think you blew it mate. Edited April 2, 2020 by poppyfields 2
Miss Spider Posted April 2, 2020 Posted April 2, 2020 (edited) I agree OP probably played too many games and she lost whatever interest she had. You didn’t like seeing she was multidating. Cool. That’s fine. But you didn’t just delete her and not respond to her again. You iced her and waited to get back and played games.She actually did nothing wrong by dating others. Also ummm Corey Wayne’s target audience is guys who struggle with dating... HOW on EARTH did he think it was sound advice to tell them to say all this “get your beautiful a** over and let me kiss those luscious lips” stuff when the guys are already socially awkward af? Edited April 2, 2020 by Cookiesandough 2
poppyfields Posted April 2, 2020 Posted April 2, 2020 (edited) No it was worse, he said "bring those beautiful 'lips' over here." Ugh! I agree cookies, I literally cringed when I read he said that, like literally! Where do these guys come up with that stuff, so cheesy. Edited April 2, 2020 by poppyfields 2 1
Erik30 Posted April 2, 2020 Posted April 2, 2020 30 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: I agree OP probably played too many games and she lost whatever interest she had. You didn’t like seeing she was multidating. Cool. That’s fine. But you didn’t just delete her and not respond to her again. You iced her and waited to get back and played games.She actually did nothing wrong by dating others. Also ummm Corey Wayne’s target audience is guys who struggle with dating... HOW on EARTH did he think it was sound advice to tell them to say all this “get your beautiful a** over and let me kiss those luscious lips” stuff when the guys are already socially awkward af? Corey Wayne is all about letting the woman do the chasing, she is supposed to be the one who contacts you (the guy) more often. Also not texting or calling supposedly increases her interest... seems like this is a situation where that backfired. 1
Author X1 anti Posted April 2, 2020 Author Posted April 2, 2020 She never said anything about rescheduling. I forgot to mention that when we were seeing each other on our third date she no call no showed on me then called me 6 days later with an excuse of “my phone got wet at the beach”. I even had a mutual friend warn me about her just before our third date. I couldn’t forgive her so that’s why I turned her down. Wouldn’t you do the same? After a few months of dating I decided to reach out to try and rekindle things and that’s when all of this happened. I had 0 trust in this woman but decided to give it a try. Can you blame me for having my guard up? She never mentioned anything about rescheduling after she cancelled on me. She had a picture of them (as a couple on her IG) and he was tagged. I checked his social media and he had just posted a different pic of them together. How can you expect me to believe her “im sick story”I wasn’t a dick about it. I was polite. She obviously wanted this guy and was trying to keep me on hold and I walked away. I did nothing wrong here. Who’s Corey Wayne? 1
poppyfields Posted April 2, 2020 Posted April 2, 2020 (edited) 15 minutes ago, Erik30 said: Corey Wayne is all about letting the woman do the chasing, she is supposed to be the one who contacts you (the guy) more often. Also not texting or calling supposedly increases her interest... seems like this is a situation where that backfired. Does that actually work, I cannot imagine how it would. Unless a woman has such little self esteem, she believes she doesn't deserve a guy who's actually into her and who will put forth the effort to indicate that interest. If that is the type of woman a man wants, then yeah have it with CW's advice. Not for me and most women who have even a modicum of self respect and self esteem. Edited April 2, 2020 by poppyfields
Author X1 anti Posted April 2, 2020 Author Posted April 2, 2020 46 minutes ago, poppyfields said: No it was worse, he said "bring those beautiful 'lips' over here." Ugh! I agree cookies, I literally cringed when I read he said that, like literally! Where do these guys come up with that stuff, so cheesy. I’m cheesy. 1
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