Confusingcase987 Posted March 28, 2020 Posted March 28, 2020 (edited) My boyfriend keeps on asking me to visit me. We live in different states in the Mid Atlantic region where there is somewhat prevalent virus. It's not that I don't want the company and I do care for him, but I don't want to have him here indefinitely (or at all) until things improve somewhat. I don't want to be exposed to something if not necessary and am working remotely as well. He's making me feel guilty for not inviting him down; calls several times a day and if I don't respond right away he gets hurt, etc. Even though I told him yesterday I wasn't certain about the weekend plans still I'm still getting over a cold, he tells me today he bought lots of food for us (he loaded up his car) and is ready to come down to see me. I feel bad but really? Isn't that a bit pushy. I know he's lonely and so am I, but don't we need to take extra precautions (he is close to 70 and I'm over 60). He says I'm fine and so is he and I need him to take care of me. Does he realize we can't sleep together, etc.? Am I being unfair or insensitive or he is just being too pushy? Edited March 28, 2020 by Confusingcase987
ccas93 Posted March 28, 2020 Posted March 28, 2020 (edited) yes that's pushy and it's not just about you and him, but ALL of society. The more EVERYONE can follow the precautions, the sooner this will blow over. Tell him to stay the F home and that you guys are not some exception. Everyone is lonely and feel the effects of this quarantine so he needs to suck it up. I saw my ex GF post an IG story of her and her new boyfriend hanging out on the couch together and touching each other. Her posting to everyone that she isn't observing the precautions that everyone is supposed to take, is like cute or something? I wanted to call her out so badly, but I knew coming from ME, it would just seem jealous. Smh Edited March 28, 2020 by ccas93
dangerous Posted March 30, 2020 Posted March 30, 2020 Both of these examples are wrong and irresponsible. OP your 70 yo BF is being pushy and inconsiderate to you. Make up your own mind..
FMW Posted March 30, 2020 Posted March 30, 2020 Yes, he's pushy. Even under normal circumstances if you told him you were getting over a cold he should give you space and understanding for not getting together. But with the current circumstances, it's completely unreasonable for him to act this way. Wanting to come see you isn't "taking care of" you, it's about what he wants. And I'm pretty sure he has no intention of sleeping apart, although honestly if he's in the house with you the exposure would already by there. His getting upset if you don't immediately respond to his calls is clingy and childish . Don't let him guilt or bully you into doing anything you don't feel comfortable doing, or just simply don't want to do. That goes for everything in general, not just wanting to visit right now.
smackie9 Posted March 30, 2020 Posted March 30, 2020 Tell him he is risking his own life as well as yours, especially him being more susceptible due to his age. Tell him to stay put, so that you two can stay safe. The warnings are REAL. People are dying, even healthy young, younger people are dying, it's not "just" a flu bug.
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