Ruby Slippers Posted April 15, 2020 Share Posted April 15, 2020 Thanks, @Happy Lemming. Yes, he's very headstrong and hates admitting he's wrong. What he usually does after an episode like this is get in touch close to the weekend and invite me to do something as if it never happened. At this point I'm not sure how I'd react to that. I'm not going to worry about it unless he gets in touch. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted April 15, 2020 Share Posted April 15, 2020 @Ruby Slippers, some couples are just more volatile than others, and even thrive on that energy. Apparently you're both ok with the volatility, you keep coming back together. Sounds exhausting to me, but as you said, only you know what will make you happy! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted April 15, 2020 Share Posted April 15, 2020 Please don't take this the wrong way but this honestly does not seem like a healthy relationship to me. It shouldn't be this hard. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 1 hour ago, cold-brunette said: Hey all, I am new here. I want to talk to people on the other side of the world. That is why I am here. Recently,I have watched lots of movies of the genre that I am fond of and I have been busy with artworks. Btw, I am Yasemin and I am looking forward to enjoying the site. -Yasemin İnci What kind of movies to you like? Welcome to the site! Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 1 hour ago, Ruby Slippers said: What he usually does after an episode like this is get in touch close to the weekend and invite me to do something... So try something different... invite him over for dinner, tonight. (like nothing ever happened). Shift the dynamic from the norm of him "getting in touch close to the weekend" to you taking control and fixing things, now (tonight). Once the pandemic is over and life is back to normal, there will be less anxiety on both of you. You'll be settled into your new job. He will be more relaxed, etc. Once that woman (20 years ago) told me "I belonged next to her", I felt more relaxed and calm. She shifted the dynamic and not only saved the relationship, she improved it. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 Thanks, but I feel no pull to do that. His behavior last weekend was selfish and lazy and he didn't own up to that at all, leaving me feeling resentful and distant. I'm not going to invite more of that into my life. I don't seem to be constituted to endure half-assed behavior from a man and I don't pretend otherwise. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
greymatter Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 8 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said: I agree. Pressure reveals any cracks in the foundation. Ruby, I hope he wasn’t verbally abusive again. You deserve so much better. You do not need to lower your standards. It’s good that you are having some time alone to focus on your new job and yourself. Having some breathing room is a positive thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jah526 Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 5 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said: Thanks, @Happy Lemming. Yes, he's very headstrong and hates admitting he's wrong. What he usually does after an episode like this is get in touch close to the weekend and invite me to do something as if it never happened. At this point I'm not sure how I'd react to that. I'm not going to worry about it unless he gets in touch. I'm dealing with someone like that right now, although it's a family member. He betrayed my trust and now wants to pretend like everything is the way it was before that happened. It's a denial of your feelings and reality. All I can say is, this man has shown you who he is. The question is, do you want to keep dealing with this behavior? It isn't going to just magically stop. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 (edited) No, it was nothing "bad," just... inconsiderate and off-putting, no doubt compounded by touchy feelings in the current circumstances. I'm trying not to focus on it too much. Thanks for the concern and nice thoughts. I had been going running with him almost every day along the creek behind my house. But I don't want to go alone, because one day when he went alone he was confronted by two big angry barking dogs that escaped someone's yard. He was able to scare them off, but that's not something I want to deal with. Sometimes coyotes hang out back there, too. Monday I did a tiny bit of relaxation/stretching yoga. Tuesday I did nothing exercise wise. Yesterday I took a short walk around the neighborhood. I'll try to do a little more today. I've learned to let myself feel the "blahs" during blah times in life, and then they tend to pass more quickly. The new job is going well. The first week and a half was very busy, but I'm finally getting on top of it all now. Sometimes it's hard to believe I'm getting paid so much to do something I enjoy working from home Edited April 16, 2020 by Ruby Slippers 1 Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 Hey ya'll, I just came in from raking the yard. I had to, there's just so much yard to rake.LOL Twenty-five years ago I could stay out in the yard working all day. I'm not as young as I used to be. I came in and vacuumed through the house and then found some bone in chicken breast in the deep freezer. I thawed them in the microwave until I could remove them from the packaging and put them in a gal. size ziplock bag. I sprinkled a bit of salt on them and poured a vinegar based bbq sauce on them and left them to marinate. I called my boyfriend as he is an essential worker. He told me his mother phoned him and told him his first cousin , was found by his mother, dead this morning. My boyfriends mother lives in Delaware, so she's not able to be here right now. What's worse is, this past weekend they found an Uncle passed away in his sleep. It's been a bad week. The cousin is in his early fifties and they aren't sure what the cause of death is. The Uncle was in his mid seventies with many preexisting health conditions. Just so much at once. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 Oh, Skywriter, sorry to hear tragedy has struck your family. So sorry. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 The guy came and mowed my lawn, and then I went out afterwards and cut two little saplings that were in the way. That's seriously the most yard work I've been able to do in a few years. I am walking better now in short spurts. I'm not strong though. I like to never got one of the little half-inch real green ones cut through. Might need new cutters. They're old and may be dull. The other came out easy though. I have one whole fence side that needs intensive care because the neighbor on the other side never has, in this 20+ years once weedeated her side of the fence, so it's saplings everywhere. My last lawn guy didn't want to do it, but got a new one. He's so busy though, but maybe he'll come do it. I'll ask him. They really need to be cut to the base and then a dab of killer on them so they don't just sprout right back out. Not sure what to use for that these days though. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 I do not feel like working. It's sunny and tomorrow will be cold and rainy. I am not sitting at the computer today. I'm just not. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 @skywriter, I'm sorry about the bad news. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 Sorry @skywriter Sending love 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 I’m still cleaning up the yard from the wind storm Monday that took out a tree and then part of my roof. The good news is the crew just left and I have a brand new roof, no patch, so I’m pretty happy about that today. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted April 16, 2020 Share Posted April 16, 2020 I’m so sorry skywriter love to you xo 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 Working on the front lines. I'm an essential worker. Vendor. So we have to be out. Period. As for now I'm sitting here typing away and smoking. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
K.K. Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 @skywriter I’m so sorry! Love you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 @skywriter, I’m sorry. I just saw. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Piddy Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 @skywriter Sorry for your loss. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
5x5 Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 @skywriter I'm sorry for what you and your boyfriend have gone through. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jah526 Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 Took the day off to do nothing. Did some weeding in the yard. Watched some weird movies on Netflix/Amazon Prime, The Killing of a Sacred Deer and My Friend Dahmer. Also watched Blinded by the Light, not quite as disturbing as the other two. Might go take a nap. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 Oh, My Friend Dahmer sounds good. Must be on Amazon. I'm glad i took off yesterday and did my little bit of yard stuff while it was sunny. Today is dreary but not rainy. Though you can't see how it's not.... Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 When your dog doesn't want to let you get up to go to the other room but growls if you try to pick her up to take her with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts