Date no kiss

[fred123]

Went on a first date with a girl and at one point tried to hold her hand and she quickly let go. At the end of the date she refused a kiss. 

I felt there was not enough physical chemsitry etc. Felt more like friends. Her reason not to kiss was " i dont kiss on first dates". But before our date she tols me she has hooked up with guys straight away  before and has kissed

[smackie9]

She's not into ya is all.

[fred123]

She twxted saying yes to a second date tho?

[elaine567]

38 minutes ago, fred123 said:

at one point tried to hold her hand and she quickly let go. At the end of the date she refused a kiss. 

Plenty people will not want to kiss on a first date especially during a pandemic, but the fact she  would not hold your hand and quickly let go is NOT a good sign.
You pushed it, she said no.
Some women hate being pawed at by strange men, so forget about the hand holding and kissing on the first date unless you get clear signs she wants that..

[fred123]

If a girl likea u she will not let go of your hand?

[Uptown182]

She’s not interested, move on.  Do you have a feminine second date with her scheduled? If not she might’ve just said yes to say it.  I can understand not kissing on the first date, but not letting you hold her hand, screams not interested to me.  

Edited March 27, 2020 by Uptown182

[Miss Spider]

Not that interested 

[simpycurious]

As we say....she's just not INTO YOU DUDE.  

[Azincourt]

A) Many women will hook-up with you on the first date if they are attracted to you. Even the shy ones will at least check you out and stare at your shoulders and biceps and so on.

B) Back when I was a young man I wanted to sleep with this woman who had slept with about 50 guys before she was 22.

Guess whom was it she suddenly decided she wanted to have  a serious romantic relationship with?

C)  Pursuing her will not make her change her mind. Women for the most part know if they'll ever sleep with you when they are introduced to you.

There are exceptions. That woman I told you about called me about 6 months later at 3 AM asking me if I was awake. But that was because the guys she wanted to sleep with were either sleeping or were having sex with other women and she wanted a hook-up with pretty much anyone.

Don't lose sleep over this woman.

D) sounds like your date wanted a free date.

Don't ever pay for a date's share of the bill. 50/50.

Go dutch.  If she's on a date with you in that situation it's because she's attracted to you not because she's gonna get a free meal.

Edited March 27, 2020 by Azincourt

[Lotsgoingon]

So things felt more like friends, you say .... well that's your cue NOT to "go for" a kiss.

BTW: you don't need to "go for" a kiss, as if you have to prep and time your move just right. If two people are clicking, just let the kiss happen. Her dropping her hand was also a cue. But when it only feels like friends ... then trust your instinct: there is no chemistry. Relax, chat ... smile ... say goodbye. 

 

[Blind-Sided]

12 hours ago, Azincourt said:

D) sounds like your date wanted a free date.

Don't ever pay for a date's share of the bill. 50/50.

Go dutch.  If she's on a date with you in that situation it's because she's attracted to you not because she's gonna get a free meal.

I don't agree with that... it makes you look cheap.  Now... I have had a few girls who have said... "Since you bought dinner, I will buy drinks."  I don't know... even if it was a bad date... if I was the person who asked her out... I would pay. But then again... I'm the kind of guy who picks up the tab, even if it's just with friends.

OP... go on that second date, but don't go anywhere expensive. if she won't make any physical contact (and holding, rubbing you arm) then I would say it's not going anywhere.

[Azincourt]

29 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said:

I don't agree with that... it makes you look cheap.  Now... I have had a few girls who have said... "Since you bought dinner, I will buy drinks."  I don't know... even if it was a bad date... if I was the person who asked her out... I would pay. But then again... I'm the kind of guy who picks up the tab, even if it's just with friends.

OP... go on that second date, but don't go anywhere expensive. if she won't make any physical contact (and holding, rubbing you arm) then I would say it's not going anywhere.

But I am cheap.

Why would I pretend to be otherwise? I'm not trying to impress anyone.

I want the women who are attracted to ME, not to what I have, not to what I can afford, and not to how easy I can make it for them.

I want the women who want to sleep with me because they like the look of me, or because they like the perfumed nonsense I'm throwing at them with my words.

I don't want the women who would sleep with me because I spend money on them or because I might look like I have money(I don't dress like that. My t-shirts, my pants etc, each cost about 5 to 10 dollars etc). The only women I spend money on, my mom and my sisters.

I am partial to spending money on a date if they spend money on me first. Say,  I don't drink, so it would be weird to pay for a woman's drinks. I'll buy her a cone of icecream if she buys me a cupcake first or something like that, but overall,  most women here want to pay their own way because they don't want the guy to feel like they're gold-diggers.

That's great, you being the kind of guy who picks up the tab.

I'm the kind of guy who lets his friends pick up the tab for everything,  as I should, considering they make millions of euros per year. Why would a poor man like me pay for anything? It would be kinda rude of my friends not to pay for me.

 

 

Edited March 28, 2020 by Azincourt

[simpycurious]

16 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

But I am cheap.

Why would I pretend to be otherwise? I'm not trying to impress anyone.

I want the women who are attracted to ME, not to what I have, not to what I can afford, and not to how easy I can make it for them.

I want the women who want to sleep with me because they like the look of me, or because they like the perfumed nonsense I'm throwing at them with my words.

I don't want the women who would sleep with me because I spend money on them or because I might look like I have money(I don't dress like that. My t-shirts, my pants etc, each cost about 5 to 10 dollars etc). The only women I spend money on, my mom and my sisters.

I am partial to spending money on a date if they spend money on me first. Say,  I don't drink, so it would be weird to pay for a woman's drinks. I'll buy her a cone of icecream if she buys me a cupcake first or something like that, but overall,  most women here want to pay their own way because they don't want the guy to feel like they're gold-diggers.

That's great, you being the kind of guy who picks up the tab.

I'm the kind of guy who lets his friends pick up the tab for everything,  as I should, considering they make millions of euros per year. Why would a poor man like me pay for anything? It would be kinda rude of my friends not to pay for me.

 

 

Ok, I now see what you are talking bout Azin.  I am not cheap nor am I poor thus I pay for the dates.  Obviously, I am not the "sharpest tool in the shed" but I did figure this one out.

Thanks for the clarity.  Clarity is never a bad thing. 

[Miss Spider]

True. It’s important to be yourself, but being cheap is a characteristic and not an attractive one to a lot of women, not just “gold diggers” or women looking for a free dinner. A lot of good women who believe in paying 50/50 still don’t like men who are “cheap”  and would not go on a date with a guy who did not at least offer. But if that is a characteristic of you, I agree it’s best to show it early. You can have a lot of money and still be cheap and vice versa. It’s more about the traditional courting process and and how much you like her.  A lot of women would lose interest because they would assume you didn’t really like her much if you didn’t make the small effort to offer to  pay for a meal. They could infer a lot, true or not, from that. 

Edited March 28, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[simpycurious]

2 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

True. It’s important to be yourself, but being cheap is a characteristic and not an attractive one to a lot of women, not just “gold diggers” or women looking for a free dinner. A lot of good women who believe in paying 50/50 still don’t like men who are “cheap”  and would not go on a date with a guy who did not at least offer. But if that is a characteristic of you, I agree it’s best to show it early. It’s not actually about the money in that case. You can have a lot of money and still be cheap and vice versa. It’s more about the traditional courting process and and what you’re willing to do to win her over.  A lot of women would lose interest and assume you don’t really like her much if you didn’t offer to at least pay for a meal. 

Again, I agree with you Cookie. It's really not about the money FOR ME or a lot of men I like to believe.  I just don't do cheap well and never have.  Candidly, I have never had to be cheap out of necessity.  I just have never put much thought into who does or who doesn't pay.  I have always PAID and never thought twice about it.  One of the biggest things that I have learned from this site is that the man paying is looked down upon by so many women.  I honestly never realized that. Also,  I don't look at women in terms of them being a "gold digger" rather I just look at them as a person that I liked enough to want to take on a date.  WOW Cookie thank you.

[Miss Spider]

Ty, simpy. You are not the sharpest tool, because you’re not a TOOL at all. You leave that to other guys.  You are a complete gentleman and wise beyond your years  ! 
 

Most women do not look down on it. It’s a red herring. A lot of guys assume that it was because they paid that she wasn’t interested when it could be for a zillion other reasons. Many look  down on not offering. 

I always insist on paying on a first date,  but in the rare case I would let him pay for me because of his insistence, I would HAVE to be 100% sure I wanted to see him again for a second date. . I try to be considerate of a persons money/time.

Edited March 28, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[simpycurious]

I think many of the same things can and should be said about you Cookie.  You are a GEM and the word WOW is very appropriate where you are concerned.  TY for your kind words as well. I have just always PAID and I just like doing it.  If I am wrong in doing so then I guess I am just going to be wrong.  I respect your stance Cookie and it works for you so that is a good thing. would be fairly certain in saying that anyone that goes out with you Cookie would definitely consider that time to be well spent.  

[Gr8fuln2020]

1 hour ago, Azincourt said:

But I am cheap.

Why would I pretend to be otherwise? I'm not trying to impress anyone.

I want the women who are attracted to ME, not to what I have, not to what I can afford, and not to how easy I can make it for them.

I want the women who want to sleep with me because they like the look of me, or because they like the perfumed nonsense I'm throwing at them with my words.

I don't want the women who would sleep with me because I spend money on them or because I might look like I have money(I don't dress like that. My t-shirts, my pants etc, each cost about 5 to 10 dollars etc). The only women I spend money on, my mom and my sisters.

I am partial to spending money on a date if they spend money on me first. Say,  I don't drink, so it would be weird to pay for a woman's drinks. I'll buy her a cone of icecream if she buys me a cupcake first or something like that, but overall,  most women here want to pay their own way because they don't want the guy to feel like they're gold-diggers.

That's great, you being the kind of guy who picks up the tab.

I'm the kind of guy who lets his friends pick up the tab for everything,  as I should, considering they make millions of euros per year. Why would a poor man like me pay for anything? It would be kinda rude of my friends not to pay for me.

You ARE cheap. I wouldn't brag about this. It's not just about means. It's also about reasonable generosity. I have dated doctors, lawyers and paid for them. I'm not rich, but I do what is reasonable for me and always appreciated by them. I have always found ladies very generous.

Anyway, why go for a second date if she doesn't seem that interested in you? If that is the case. I have been on a date or two where the lady was not interested in doing anything affectionate on the first date. Subsequent dates, all that changed. Some people are a little more conservative.

[greymatter]

11 minutes ago, Gr8fuln2020 said:

You ARE cheap. I wouldn't brag about this. It's not just about means. It's also about reasonable generosity. I have dated doctors, lawyers and paid for them. I'm not rich, but I do what is reasonable for me and always appreciated by them. I have always found ladies very generous.

He is also a sponge when it comes to his friends, letting them pay for everything and not reciprocating, and feels entitled to that. An equal opportunity sponge with both men and women. 

OP,  you totally misread the signs on your date. You have to let things happen more organically and not be coming from a place of trying to hold hands or going for a kiss when the signs are clearly pointing to "don't." Why would you try to kiss someone who had already dropped your hand? Her statement "I don't kiss on a first date" was her being too nice to say directly that she wasn't into you. A first date is not an invitation to put your hands on someone. If it happens organically with a woman than that's fine, otherwise, try to learn how to read other people better. 

[kendahke]

Learn to "read the room".

Also, coronavirus...

[stillafool]

23 hours ago, fred123 said:

But before our date she tols me she has hooked up with guys straight away  before and has kissed

You should have told her this when she rejected your kiss.  She's playing games, she isn't that interested.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

OP, do you not understand what social distancing during a pandemic means?  I'm not being sarcastic.  I'm asking if you understand that you should not be touching your date at all.  Should not really even be dating right now.