stella20 Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 So guy that I saw twice - did not get back to me about paddle boarding or any activity . When I texted him that Friday - he said he forgot he already had plans and proceeded to send me a clip of him with a buddy. I told him I wished he would have let me known sooner because my only other free time was Monday. He doesn’t ignore me when we text and he has added me on social media but I feel like since we didn’t connect when I went over his place - he’s been keeping his distance and that shows me I need to move on / not bother trying if he clearly doesn’t want this to work.
manfrombelow2 Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 (edited) 28 minutes ago, stella20 said: So guy that I saw twice - did not get back to me about paddle boarding or any activity . When I texted him that Friday - he said he forgot he already had plans and proceeded to send me a clip of him with a buddy. I told him I wished he would have let me known sooner because my only other free time was Monday. He doesn’t ignore me when we text and he has added me on social media but I feel like since we didn’t connect when I went over his place - he’s been keeping his distance and that shows me I need to move on / not bother trying if he clearly doesn’t want this to work. You don't invest your emotion, time and energy into someone who is (for whatever reasons) not willing to do the same. So the answer is simple: You DON'T NEED to move on, but you MUST move on, with this guy. Hope this helps. Edited March 18, 2020 by thaygiaogiang
schlumpy Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 6 hours ago, stella20 said: So guy that I saw twice - did not get back to me about paddle boarding or any activity . When I texted him that Friday - he said he forgot he already had plans and proceeded to send me a clip of him with a buddy. I told him I wished he would have let me known sooner because my only other free time was Monday. He doesn’t ignore me when we text and he has added me on social media but I feel like since we didn’t connect when I went over his place - he’s been keeping his distance and that shows me I need to move on / not bother trying if he clearly doesn’t want this to work. He may not have connected but it seems you did or you wouldn't be seeking validation to move on. Just remember that first impressions are often wrong unless you have a specific criteria that you apply such as nonsmoker, no tattoos, no snoring at 2am and must be taller than 5 feet. Can't let him keep you on the shelf so do date others but it doesn't cost much to be friendly.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 OP, can you clarify what you mean when say that you two didn’t connect when you went to his place?
Author stella20 Posted March 18, 2020 Author Posted March 18, 2020 2 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: OP, can you clarify what you mean when say that you two didn’t connect when you went to his place? I talked about it in this thread. I met him through the FB dating app but I’ve only known him for a couple of weeks. He just seems distant / gives short responses and I don’t want to force something if it’s not there.
Hopeful30 Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 If it feels like the right thing to do, then it's the right thing to do. External opinions, behaviours or suggestions are irrelevant. You must follow your own internal compass. 2
2BGoodAgain Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 when a guy is truly interested in you... or anyone... he shows it.. and if this is his idea of showing you he's interested... well, you have to ask yourself... is this what you want for the rest of your life? if not, move on.... if just a hook up, enjoy it for what it is... honestly, treat yourself like you're of worth... if you don't, no one else will. good luck! 1
lurker74 Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 I have a rule..it may apply more to men traditionally than women, but I think it applies to you here as well. I will pursue but not chase. If, early on, either side doesn't show a decent amount of interest, say in the first two or three dates, it can be difficult to maintain the energy necessary to continue. If your pursuit is not reciprocated, it usually means your interest is not either. So you can choose to withdraw, date other people, whatever. But when I've experienced this, I set a line and stick to it. A couple weeks back, I had a couple good (not great) dates with a woman I was very interested in. She was very chaste in the kisses goodbye but some people are that way. Still, she rarely texted me first, although she responded when I texted her. But she just didn't feel like she was connected. So I scheduled a lunch date on a Wednesday. I even planned on surprising her by packing a picnic (pursuit). She canceled the morning of because she didn't want to explain to her boss her love life yet. OK...we had talked about going out Friday night and I told her to let me know. Friday at 6, I text her and told her it wasn't working, that she's great, that it's OK if she wasn't into me, and wished her luck. Queue the flurry of texts about how much she was into me...go figure. She is a great person but ultimately I was not getting what I needed out of an early relationship so I ended it with what I think was dignity to both sides. So you have to decide each time if you're getting out of a relationship what you need. Simple...not easy, but simple.
Ruby Slippers Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 When a man is into you, he'll make it abundantly clear. If he's doing anything less than that, don't waste your time. 4
stillafool Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 Yes you should move on until he asks you out on a date.
preraph Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 He's not interested in you for whatever reason. He doesn't hate you, but he's not reciprocating and if he was interested, he would be more attentive and ask you out. Don't wait around seeing if he'll change his mind. People don't usually change their minds about who they're interested in if it's not there in the beginning. Don't ask him out anymore. Just leave him alone and go date other people.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 Yes, taken together with your previous thread - I think you're better to move on. His interest is very lukewarm. Not enough to go on unless he takes some initiative, which it doesn't appear he really has. 1
smackie9 Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 Yup... so we all called it...he's not interested. Sounds like he friend zoned you. He added you to look more popular on social media....ego boost.
Author stella20 Posted March 19, 2020 Author Posted March 19, 2020 Thanks to all the responses. I figured as much and didn’t want to waste any more of my time. 1
mortensorchid Posted March 19, 2020 Posted March 19, 2020 Without knowing any other information other than this encounter, it sounds like he's not that into you. When a man is into you and wants to be with you, he will make that clear. He's making it clear to you that he's not interested or he's going to let you take the lead. And I suggest moving on ASAP.
simpycurious Posted March 19, 2020 Posted March 19, 2020 MO is correct. Why waste your time with someone like this. MAKE THE GUY take the lead. MOST guys (especially alphas) like to lead and will make it abundantly clear that you interest them as opposed to you being a fleeting thought. 1
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