Feeling hurt- Kissed my friend

[blobfather86]

Sorry if this is a long post,

So on a recent drunken night out, one of my best friends and I kissed a number of times. We were intimate most of the night (hand holding, hugging etc) although we did not have sex. It all started with her placing my arm around her and then telling me that there has always been something between us. Throughout the night she was telling people how important I was to her and how we would be good together. We have known each other for over three years and we have been through quite a lot together. We use to work together so we literally spent everyday together for about a year. 

I have had feelings for her in the past, but I have always put our friendship first. After that night though, I now know how I feel and I do like her as more than friends.

Unfortunately, the next day I kinda freaked out because I was worried about the friendship and what it all meant. I called her and asked to meet up but she said she was busy and when I raised the subject of the night before she ignored me for the whole weekend. Eventually she did respond but said that it was drunken behaviour and didn't seem to want to discuss any of it. I'm really crap at communicating myself, and I didn't let her know how I felt and I said 'I really value our friendship and last night was really nice,  but like you said drunken behaviour.' 

. We continued speaking like before as friends but she did seem more distant. After a week she said that she felt she had angered one of our other friends who was out that night (he was annoyed because of how into each other myself and my friend were, which must have made him feel really awkward ). She texted saying she couldn't remember why  and asked me.

I was sharp with her and texted back 'I can't be bothered to discuss that s*** now.'

I felt she only wanted to talk about it now because our friend was upset. She took this really badly and called me very angry saying not to call or text her over the weekend. Obviously I'm not going to text. 

Just feel really hurt and confused by the situation..

Did she want me to say that I liked her?

Does she just think it was a drunken thing and not care?

I don't know.

 

 

 

Edited March 14, 2020 by blobfather86
spelling

[d0nnivain]

How drunk was she if she can't remember crossing that line with a friend?   She may have been lonely & using you.  She may have been testing the waters.  She may have not enjoyed herself when you were kissing.  She may have been embarrassed by her drunken wanton behavior.  

If you like her & want to date her you are going to have to put it all on the line & declare your intentions.  I don't think it's a good idea because I really don't get the sense that she shares your feelings.  You say you have liked her for years but worked to maintain the friendship.  Alas, that makes you an orbiter who strokes her ego not a true friend.

Your better option to preserve your dignity is to just put distance in this relationship.  I think get out from her sphere of influence & giving yourself more perspective you will experience more peace.  

[JTSW]

You both sound young.

She sounded embarrassed by her behavior and also likely just as worried as you.

Apologize for snapping at her and ask if you can talk about that night.

Be honest about your feelings.  

[SincereOnlineGuy]

We are all guessing here,  but my guess is that you spelled-out how you really felt about her...   (which, IS a good thing for mature people)

 

and SHE decided, after sobering up, that she was uncomfortable about whatever you said that way.

 

(she's an attractive girl and wants to select  her mates... and in her mind, you are always supposed to be there as part of the woodwork, yet are not supposed to be attracted to her romantically/sexually  like nearly every other guy around)

(which is selfish and stupid on her part)

 

(If I'm close... you could boldly dare to print my response and hand it to her)