diana9 Posted March 14, 2020 Posted March 14, 2020 Okay, I went on a date with a guy and everything was nice. We laughed, talked about lots of things, and he seemed interested in me. When we finished our first drink, he wanted to spend time more, and that date lasted for more than three hours. He walked me home after date, and he kissed me. I was a bit confused because I thought maybe it is too early but I kissed him back and said that I had a great time. He said let's keep in touch. I thought that maybe he would think that I am not interested in him because I acted a bit confused when he kissed me, and I messaged him tomorrow afternoon with some funny article and he replied back but he didn't ask me anything. What are your thoughts?
Beendaredonedat Posted March 14, 2020 Posted March 14, 2020 (edited) My thoughts are its too early to tell. Instead of texting him with some funny article that is impossible to actually reply to or ask you anything about because it's so non committal in it's entirety, why didn't thank him and tell him you had a good time? Then tell him you look forward to "keeping in touch?" Then, ask him a question so that he would have something to reply to and thus keep the conversation going (hopefully)? Edited March 14, 2020 by Beendaredonedat added 1
Blind-Sided Posted March 14, 2020 Posted March 14, 2020 I agree. You should have just said... "I had a nice time and I hope to get together again soon."
Author diana9 Posted March 14, 2020 Author Posted March 14, 2020 Because I expected that he will send a text or something, and I already told him in the evening that I had a great time.
d0nnivain Posted March 14, 2020 Posted March 14, 2020 Telling him you had a good time was fine but your failure to re-state that in a text the next morning left him with the impression that you weren't interested. In the modern world the new "rules" are that you text the thank you the next morning as a green light to the guy that you will say yes when he asks again. 1
Author diana9 Posted March 14, 2020 Author Posted March 14, 2020 Okay I understand that, and that is the reason he didn't ask what's up or how am I when I sent him the article?
Realitysux Posted March 14, 2020 Posted March 14, 2020 (edited) In my experience, guys that don't message you right after, generally aren't interested but I wouldn't be discouraged because apparently a few dates can change a lot. I would just go with the flow and give it time to see if anything evolves. I wouldn't message him again until he messages you. I was talking to a guy and if I text him and said do you want to go out today, then he would have said yes, but if I didn't text him then he wouldn't text me so I left it. Rejection is part of the game but I wouldn't worry about it too much! Edited March 14, 2020 by Realitysux
chillii Posted March 14, 2020 Posted March 14, 2020 (edited) 59 minutes ago, diana9 said: Because I expected that he will send a text or something, and I already told him in the evening that I had a great time. Ahh, don't worry about any of that stuff it's cool , he'd still reply and talk a bit if he was interested , especially if he was really interested and he'd still try too even if you were a bit weird with a kiss forget that it's nothing , anyone gets awkward sometime. Saying lets keep in touch though would be just fake bs when he's not really interested in more sorry. Edited March 14, 2020 by chillii
smackie9 Posted March 14, 2020 Posted March 14, 2020 If he was interested he would have been pretty keen on asking you out again. He responded just to be polite. Next! 1
carhill Posted March 14, 2020 Posted March 14, 2020 IME, my generation, guy sets up next date at end of first or via next message, if interested. Nowadays? 1
AngieH Posted March 15, 2020 Posted March 15, 2020 2 hours ago, Realitysux said: In my experience, guys that don't message you right after, generally aren't interested but I wouldn't be discouraged because apparently a few dates can change a lot. I would just go with the flow and give it time to see if anything evolves. I wouldn't message him again until he messages you. I was talking to a guy and if I text him and said do you want to go out today, then he would have said yes, but if I didn't text him then he wouldn't text me so I left it. Rejection is part of the game but I wouldn't worry about it too much! That has been my experience too. When I dated, guys would always text me a lot afterwards, and they always were pretty direct in letting me know how they felt. I do find it odd tho to be confused as to how a guy feels after a date. I mean, how did he act towards you? Was he affectionate, or cold? It should be pretty obvious, even after one date. In my case, I never had any doubts because all the guys I ever dated were usually pretty aggressive and tried to get intimate during the date. If I guy only offered a good night kiss I would have probably thought he was either highly religious or I'd assume he was not interested. Tbh OP, I don't think things look very promising here. 1 1
simpycurious Posted March 15, 2020 Posted March 15, 2020 If he is interested, I think he will ask you out again (IMO). If you hear "crickets" then that will tell you all you need to know. 1
manfrombelow2 Posted March 15, 2020 Posted March 15, 2020 If he really is interested, he will ask you out. If he doesn't, well, don't you have a lot in your life to attend to?
simpycurious Posted March 15, 2020 Posted March 15, 2020 1 hour ago, thaygiaogiang said: If he really is interested, he will ask you out. If he doesn't, well, don't you have a lot in your life to attend to? Hopefully, she will find someone a little nicer and more considerate to go out with.
Author diana9 Posted March 15, 2020 Author Posted March 15, 2020 8 hours ago, AngieH said: That has been my experience too. When I dated, guys would always text me a lot afterwards, and they always were pretty direct in letting me know how they felt. I do find it odd tho to be confused as to how a guy feels after a date. I mean, how did he act towards you? Was he affectionate, or cold? It should be pretty obvious, even after one date. In my case, I never had any doubts because all the guys I ever dated were usually pretty aggressive and tried to get intimate during the date. If I guy only offered a good night kiss I would have probably thought he was either highly religious or I'd assume he was not interested. Tbh OP, I don't think things look very promising here. He was a bit touchy, and he seemed interested a lot during the date. When he walked me home, he tried to kiss me, but somehow I wasn't ready for that and it turned to be a short good night kiss on lips, and we kissed like that three times I wanted to take things slow because of the last experience. He could have kissed me on a cheek, I don't know.
Author diana9 Posted March 15, 2020 Author Posted March 15, 2020 5 hours ago, thaygiaogiang said: If he really is interested, he will ask you out. If he doesn't, well, don't you have a lot in your life to attend to? At the moment, during this corona virus, nope.
manfrombelow2 Posted March 15, 2020 Posted March 15, 2020 29 minutes ago, diana9 said: At the moment, during this corona virus, nope. Yes you do.
Mystery4u Posted March 15, 2020 Posted March 15, 2020 1 hour ago, diana9 said: At the moment, during this corona virus, nope. Time will tell. You already reached out and as the man he should have initiated arranging the next date, but there is nothing stopping you asking him out either, so you know one way or another whether he is interested or not. 1
Blind-Sided Posted March 15, 2020 Posted March 15, 2020 (edited) 13 hours ago, diana9 said: Okay I understand that, and that is the reason he didn't ask what's up or how am I when I sent him the article? He didn't ask "What's up" because an article wasn't a question. And it's not a direct indication of you enjoying being with him. So... for example... last night, I went out with a girl who I've been hanging out with, and she knows I was out of a long relationship that ended verey badly... and just can't move too fast. After she got home... she sent a message and said... "I am truly blessed to have you in my life. You are a wonderful person, and deserve to know." There is NO QUESTION that she enjoys being with me, and I know she will say yes next time I ask to get together. (which is today) Edited March 15, 2020 by Blind-Sided
Author diana9 Posted March 15, 2020 Author Posted March 15, 2020 Yes, but it was a great chance to start a conversation if interested. I also told him at the date night that I had a great time. I expected a message from him, which I didn't get. but if he would send me an article or something else, I would have asked him how are you, what's up because I am interested in him. Maybe I am wrong.
Blind-Sided Posted March 15, 2020 Posted March 15, 2020 (edited) 19 minutes ago, diana9 said: 1) but it was a great chance to start a conversation if interested. 2) but if he would send me an article or something else, I would have asked him how are you, what's up because I am interested in him. 3) Maybe I am wrong. Going by the numbers.... 1) Sure it is... but not everyone thinks that way. OK... so, there is another girl that a friend wants me to meet. I haven't had a chance yet, but I follower her on FB. I will comment, or react to many of her posts. BUT there are a bunch of things she will repost, that I DO NOT respond to because I either don't care about the subject, or it's something that doesn't concern me. So... sending an article could send a bad message. If it's something he feels strongly against... any conversation that could come from that could be negative. Heck... the article itself send the wrong message. 2) Now it's even more convoluted. You built a series of events in your head on how it should play out. 3) Yes... you are wrong. If you liked his company... just tell him that. OK... not to sound like a total a$$... but this is how arguments start in long relationships. One partner assumes an obscure hint on a topic should automatically have full clarity to the other partner. AND, when it doesn't... the other partner gets mad. (because they think the other partner should be able to read her mind) JUST TELL HIM YOU LIKED BEING AROUND HIM !! don't hint... don't send an article... don't send a poem quote... don't send emoji's... just say it clearly... using words. LOL Edited March 15, 2020 by Blind-Sided spelling
Author diana9 Posted March 18, 2020 Author Posted March 18, 2020 Okay I have an update. He wrote to me after 5 days, it was just a chit-chat and that is it
SumGuy Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 4 minutes ago, diana9 said: Okay I have an update. He wrote to me after 5 days, it was just a chit-chat and that is it To me this says he is interested but unsure and may be anxious that he waited 5 days. Or something else was going on in those 5 days, like making sure he isn't sick. If you felt there was an elephant in the room about the kiss you can bring it up, and let him know you had fun and would like to see him again when things settle down.
Miss Spider Posted March 18, 2020 Posted March 18, 2020 (edited) I don’t think he sounds that interested. I think he is just bored because of the forced social distancing so he’s reaching out to people. 5 days is a pretty long time after a date. I think he should suggest to meet again if he’s interested. Edited March 18, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
Recommended Posts