Ethics of dating / sleeping with multiple people?

[SumGuy]

Dating multiple people is not the same at all as having sex with multiple people.

Mentioning you are sleeping with someone else is the high road, regardless if it is presumed.

If you really believe that it is the social norm that everyone you meet on-line is presumed to be sleeping with multiple people then what is the harm in mentioning it?

You know the answer, you know that it is not presumed, you know that a lot of women will have a problem with it, that is why you are looking for reasons not to mention it.

So put your mouth where your beliefs are, mention it.  If those who say it is assumed are right it is no problem...and you took the high road.

If others who say it is not presumed are right then you need to mention it.

Either way, the answer is mention it.

 

The only reason to not mention it is if you are more concerned about the easy way, instead of the ethical/moral way you are asking for.

[SumGuy]

2 hours ago, thaygiaogiang said:

...Regarding STD, have you ever heard of an invention called condom?

Educate yourself.  Condoms don't stop the transmittal of all STDs, they certainly don't if used improperly and you don't need to be having PIV to catch certain STDs.

[littleblackheart]

9 hours ago, thaygiaogiang said:

It's NOT unethical until they are officially committed.

 

Some may assume their dates have sex with only one person at a time.

 

It's common sense (and respectful of others) to go by the 'rule' that dating means different things to different people, so best be straightforward and open.

 

No one is telling you not to bang away, btw - that's your business, but just use standard common courtesy.

[manfrombelow2]

17 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

Educate yourself.  Condoms don't stop the transmittal of all STDs, they certainly don't if used improperly and you don't need to be having PIV to catch certain STDs.

I knew when I brought up the topic of condom, comments like this will pop up. 

[SumGuy]

1 minute ago, thaygiaogiang said:

I knew when I brought up the topic of condom, comments like this will pop up. 

Because its true.  Condoms are not a panacea.  It's more that you put it out there as a justification as why you can brush aside any STD concerns of the women you sleep with. 

[elaine567]

28 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

...you know that it is not presumed, you know that a lot of women will have a problem with it, that is why you are looking for reasons not to mention it.

^^^ this.
OP
You are trying to justify the unjustifiable

[Silver_star]

Who are you connecting better with?

It can get complicated really quick if you don't cut one of them off. I have learned to get clear on what I want and make decisions based on what I want to achieve and not just "going with flow". 
It would feel weird and maybe make you feel guilty if one of these girls ends up being your wife one day and you think back to the first few months of your relationship and remember how you were being intimate with another woman at the same time, and of course you could never tell her about it.  What if the other woman you don't decide you want to choose becomes attached to you and falls for you? What if she becomes pregnant? It's possible. You will need to decide soon.

[dramallama]

I had a real dilemma when I met my guy as I'd had a couple of dates with another guy, got carried away and slept with him, and he was loads of fun but I knew he wasn't going to be THE ONE - he was 10 years younger for a start. Anyway, we had another date lined up but then I met someone else. I fully intended to stay chaste until I got to know guy 2 but the chemistry was intense and we slept together on the first date. Despite not knowing where it was going I couldn't meet the other one again knowing he'd expect intimacy, so that was the end of that. 

I prefer to only sleep with one guy at once and leave a period between partners so that if I had a condom accident of any description there's only one guy I'm having to call about a positive pregnancy test - I mean, how cringeworthy would that be?!?!!? "Hi I'm pregnant and it may or may not be yours...."

Edited March 12, 2020 by dramallama
Typo

[Hopeful30]

This goes without saying, but obviously use protection during your sexual dalliances. 

If it's bothering you, then open up about it to these women. Say listen, I'm dating someone else at this time and I've been feeling a bit uneasy about it. I wanted to share this with you so we're on the same page, because I genuinely like you and want to explore where this may go,

[Miss Spider]

I totally disagree that you have an ethical responsibility to tell her. If it hasn’t been discussed, she should assume that you are seeing others and conduct herself accordingly. Ie if she doesn’t want to sleep with someone outside of exclusivity, then she is the one who needs to get that across.