stella20 Posted March 8, 2020 Posted March 8, 2020 So the guy that I had talked about in my previous thread - he didn’t want to go out so I agreed to meet him at his place. I met his dog and his aunt - she was upstairs the entire time (staying with him until Sunday.) we watched two movies - he def wasn’t feeling great (I could tell from his voice) I didn’t make a move to kiss him and he didn’t make a move to kiss me but we did the typical getting close for warmth (wrapped in big blanket) + talked. Nothing remotely sexual happened - just the cuddling- his dog was in and out. He expressed wanting me to go to the gym with him and let me know for next time - I didn’t have to worry about parking - there would be a spot. So my silly question was - Should I let him be the one to initiate our third date - not reach out to him for a few days? Looking back at our text convos - I’ve been the one to start the convos.
chillii Posted March 8, 2020 Posted March 8, 2020 Don't know , but he does sound a bit under enthused. 1
Blind-Sided Posted March 8, 2020 Posted March 8, 2020 Hard to say. If he wasn't feeling good, and didn't make a move of any kind... just don't know. I guess if you want the third date... just let him know you are open to that, and let him contact you again when he's feeling better.
ExpatInItaly Posted March 8, 2020 Posted March 8, 2020 If you've been the one initiating, I would step back now. See what he does of his own volition. 1
smackie9 Posted March 8, 2020 Posted March 8, 2020 That's the best he can do? Cuddle under a blanket for 4 hours as a second date? Ask you to go to the gym with him? epic fail. First impressions count. This guy hasn't lifted a finger of effort at all. Girl you can do way better than this. This chump is a slump. 4 1
Fletch Lives Posted March 8, 2020 Posted March 8, 2020 As far as playing hard to get - this guy is sick so you can't expect him to feel enthusiastic. When I'm sick I don't care about anything, lol Just try to see him once a week. You may have to carry the ball for now, if you want this thing to work. When he gets well, he'd better start showing some enthusiasm though - or else!
simpycurious Posted March 8, 2020 Posted March 8, 2020 2 hours ago, Fletch Lives said: As far as playing hard to get - this guy is sick so you can't expect him to feel enthusiastic. When I'm sick I don't care about anything, lol Just try to see him once a week. You may have to carry the ball for now, if you want this thing to work. When he gets well, he'd better start showing some enthusiasm though - or else! He couldn't be THAT SICK that he couldn't muster the energy to show a little more interest. I am with Smackie-----EPIC FAIL. OP, let him come to you and do a little better than going to the gym. When I go to the gym, it's about work and not a social pursuit (just me). How about he take you to a nice dinner or something of the sort. 1 1
Miss Spider Posted March 8, 2020 Posted March 8, 2020 (edited) So far you’ve pretty much buttered and put yourself on a platter for him. He hasn’t had to lift a finger. Wouldn’t be surprised if his “aunt” upstairs is really his mom and he lives in her basement. Let him make the next moves if he’s interested. Edited March 8, 2020 by Cookiesandough 3
simpycurious Posted March 8, 2020 Posted March 8, 2020 1 minute ago, Cookiesandough said: So far you’ve pretty much buttered and put yourself on a platter for him. He hasn’t had to lift a finger. Wouldn’t be surprised if his aunt upstairs is really his mom and he lives in her basement. Let him make the next moves if he’s interested. LOL...........tough crowd. But I do agree that he needs to take the lead if he is indeed interested 1
Author stella20 Posted March 9, 2020 Author Posted March 9, 2020 (edited) Thanks - a lot of what everyone is saying makes sense and has been echoed in similar ways by own friends. I know a part of me likes the distraction but ultimately - I don’t want a repeat of my previous relationship. I need to do better to recognizing signals instead of dodging them. So - he initiated the first date - location and time ( we did a tour of a brewery not far from where I live) It was no pressure - it was great. The morning after - he texted me telling me he had a good time. I told him I did too. He sent me a picture of him and his dog at the dog park - and told me he wanted me to meet his dog - he was usually free Friday nights. I told him that seemed ok on my end and I was under the impression the 2nd date would involve his dog. I got a text from him Friday morning - letting me know he wasn’t feeling well. I ultimately made the decision of picking the option to stay in. One of my flaws is not giving people the chance to initiate or plan - I’ve been the planner (in friendships and relationships.) pulling away from that is a constant work in progress. I also need to do better in recognizing when a guy needs to put in more effort but doesn’t He initiated the third outing - paddle boarding. Edited March 9, 2020 by stella20 1
simpycurious Posted March 9, 2020 Posted March 9, 2020 That actually sounds like a fun date and he took the lead. Hopefully, things will keep progressing. 1
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