simpycurious Posted March 8, 2020 Posted March 8, 2020 On 3/7/2020 at 1:12 PM, Backinthesaddleagain said: I always text to make sure they get home safe. I told her I didn't feel any chemistry, but if she ever wanted to go out bowling or something as friends to let me know. She really is a nice girl, and we had a nice time talking. She didn't respond, so that's that. Next. I see no harm in texting someone to make sure they are safe (got home ok). I do the same and don't see it as something other than a caring gesture. It doesn't matter if you clicked with them or not. 3 1
Miss Spider Posted March 8, 2020 Posted March 8, 2020 16 minutes ago, simpycurious said: I see no harm in texting someone to make sure they are safe (got home ok). I do the same and don't see it as something other than a caring gesture. It doesn't matter if you clicked with them or not. Agree. I had never heard of a man doing that. I thought men only did that to find an excuse to talk to you again. That’s a nice gesture. 1 1
simpycurious Posted March 8, 2020 Posted March 8, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: Agree. I had never heard of a man doing that. I thought men only did that to find an excuse to talk to you again. That’s a nice gesture. I think that's the very least you deserve from a guy. Edited March 8, 2020 by simpycurious 3
HappySenior Posted March 9, 2020 Posted March 9, 2020 I think it is funny (strange) the difference in expectations between OLD and meeting someone in real life. I've had it happen and heard stories about people who meet via some other channel than OLD (work, school, hobbies) and spend a lot of time as friends and then the magic happens and chemistry appears. In OLD, it seems like there is an expectation of it happening the other way around. I'd be willing to bet that (except for affairs) single people that meet and are friends first and become lovers much later last longer than those who meet as lovers and don't develop the friendship. This difference in expectations is a large part of the reason I am not going to do OLD anymore. I participate in groups and hobbies and will wait to develop something with someone (if anyone) I meet there instead. (Besides, if he doesn't have a passion about something in life other than sex, I am not interested!) 2
MeadowFlower Posted March 9, 2020 Posted March 9, 2020 7 hours ago, HappySenior said: I think it is funny (strange) the difference in expectations between OLD and meeting someone in real life. I've had it happen and heard stories about people who meet via some other channel than OLD (work, school, hobbies) and spend a lot of time as friends and then the magic happens and chemistry appears. In OLD, it seems like there is an expectation of it happening the other way around. This difference in expectations is a large part of the reason I am not going to do OLD anymore. I participate in groups and hobbies and will wait to develop something with someone (if anyone) I meet there instead. (Besides, if he doesn't have a passion about something in life other than sex, I am not interested!) This girl gets an award. 1
Author Backinthesaddleagain Posted March 9, 2020 Author Posted March 9, 2020 8 hours ago, MeadowFlower said: This girl gets an award. Holy bitter, Batman! Based on your posts in my thread, it sounds like you have been burned by someone only wanting sex from you. While that is unfortunate(if that is the case), not all men are only looking for sex. I had an 18 year relationship that started out as friends first, so I am not opposed to that dynamic AT ALL. These days I am looking for someone that has similar interests, life goals, hobbies, etc., AND immediate chemistry & attraction. I am not getting any younger and I don't have the time or desire to slow roll a relationship. I want to find someone that is a good match for me, that I also can't keep my hands off of! I'm not sure why you are looking down on me for it? I have plenty of interests other than sex. But to ignore the sexual component will lead to an unfulfilling relationship for me, and something I won't compromise on. Over the last year or so, I have chosen to change myself for the better and live an honest life. And I am not talking about lying to people, but to myself. If I can't be honest and identify what I need out of a relationship, then I will have more failures and I don't want that. Thanks
Author Backinthesaddleagain Posted March 9, 2020 Author Posted March 9, 2020 On 3/7/2020 at 12:12 PM, Backinthesaddleagain said: I always text to make sure they get home safe. I told her I didn't feel any chemistry, but if she ever wanted to go out bowling or something as friends to let me know. She really is a nice girl, and we had a nice time talking. She didn't respond, so that's that. Next. On 3/7/2020 at 12:29 PM, MeadowFlower said: ? Is this how it really works? If there's no sexual tension, then that's it?? Actually, now that I think about it, your comments are even more annoying to me, MeadowFlower. See the above post by me. I was 100% honest with her, and I even enjoyed our date enough to say I wanted to hang out as friends, which she ignored. Who knows what would have happened if we hung out as friends? Obviously, she wasn't feeling it either. She left a full beer (which I paid for) and doesn't want to hang out with me again. She didn't even respond with a "No thanks, I had a nice time but I'm not interested". Now who is the a-hole, her or me? 1
preraph Posted March 9, 2020 Posted March 9, 2020 On 3/6/2020 at 9:51 AM, Backinthesaddleagain said: She might also be testing my thirsty-o-meter haha. Wish me luck guys, I'll let you know how it went! I'm not sure she has enough wherewithal to be testing you, if that's any comfort. I just think she is probably somewhat disorganized and probably not the best at being in control of her own life and schedule. Not even just with the ex but with the kids. I mean, I know parents who just let the kids take the lead on things and follow along exhaustedly behind. Anyway, hope you have some fun.
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