elijahBailey Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 what's a bad boy. From what everyone's written here, everyone seems to have a different definition of a 'bad boy'. In general, the dude who has better success with women is one that doesn't allow women to walk over him but yet knows how to tell them things they wanna hear. Call them or name them whatever you like.
Zaira Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 *"Home" Improvement. "Women love projects," says Janet. "Bad boys suggest that alterations can be made." *Feeling special. "I used to think that dating someone who snubbed the rest of the population but nuzzled with me was quite a victory," says single woman Melissa, 25, of Chapel Hill, North Carolina. An explanation, at last. To me, a "bad boy" is one who is a challenge. I have seen the error of my ways and now I just want a "softy" - with a cute devilish side
westernxer Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 A dash of personality with a hint of mystery ... otherwise you're history.
MassiveAtom Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 Originally Posted by JS17 Actually, I would prefer someone who doesn't make me cry. And how exactly would a man MAKE you cry if YOU are in control of your own emotions? Honestly if a woman starts to freak out on me about everything, I want ot take a hike - I stick it out usually because the nice patient glutton for punishment in me takes over!
JS17 Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 And how exactly would a man MAKE you cry if YOU are in control of your own emotions? That sounds awfully naieve, I would have expected that question from someone far younger. There won't be a next time I'm with someone who is emotionally abusive and there won't be a next time that I have to sneak out of bed in the morning to go cry in another room so he won't hear me. You can't control your emotions, you can't help what you feel. The only thing you can control is your reactions.
helena abadi Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 for me, a bad boy is one who plays the field even when he professes to be in a relationship. typically they have lots of sex appeal, they know they have it, and they use it ruthlessly. they are commitment phobes, play down their attached status, juggle multiple partners, and don't give more than they have to, to anyone. they don't want to be close. they lie and cheat. their seemingly indestructible independence is irresistible. some women see them as a challenge to change, but usually they can't. that's not to say they aren't fun to be with, but women be warned. get real about who they are, and don't expect too much. they are heartbreak alley. nice guys aren't necessarily doormats at all. plenty have fun, passion, a wicked side, but the difference is that their partners still feel secure with them, unlike the bad boys where you feel excitement, uncertainty, and fear of loss almost all the time. doormats will put women on pedestals, run around after them, become codependent, will be afraid to express their opinions, and lack imagination and initiative in relationships. they put their own needs last and everyone else first. respect for them goes down the tube. the relationship becomes a bore and a chore. equally, there are women who are bad girls, nice girls who are still lots of fun, and doormat women.
RecordProducer Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 The point is taht you need to have the personality necessary to play any role in life. You can't have authority if you're a whimp by nature and vice versa. The energetic, dominant man is self-confident and seductive, but he might be controlling or selfish or too demanding or whatever "other side" of that medal. Just like Pada said about her ex who was nice and sweet but a liar, "nice guys" can be a**h***s too and "bad boys" can be sweet and nice as well. It's more about a behavior style. A real man should be nice in any case. And a real lady will not let him treat her with disrespect.
jaye Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 "nice guys" can be a**h***s too and "bad boys" can be sweet and nice as well. It's more about a behavior style. A real man should be nice in any case. And a real lady will not let him treat her with disrespect. Sure only that when a nice guy is being an a**h*** he still makes sence. unlike badboys being an a**h*** is because they are being what they really are. real lady? did you not just said egg is an egg, it doesn't matter id a chicken's or duck's.
hooghie Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 Sure only that when a nice guy is being an a**h*** he still makes sence. unlike badboys being an a**h*** is because they are being what they really are. QUOTE] Can you please explain this? In my experience, the guys who call themselves 'nice guys' are unattractive and very wimpy when it comes to woman. They go after women who are WAY out of their league. Many of these women will already have a man and the nice guy thinks 'oh, I would treat her so much better if she would only give me a chance.' And if the girl DOES give him a chance- eventually he becomes an a**h*** too- just not the same way that a bad boy does.
jaye Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 Can you please explain this? In my experience, the guys who call themselves 'nice guys' are unattractive and very wimpy when it comes to woman. They go after women who are WAY out of their league. Many of these women will already have a man and the nice guy thinks 'oh, I would treat her so much better if she would only give me a chance.' And if the girl DOES give him a chance- eventually he becomes an a**h*** too- just not the same way that a bad boy does. really? let me tell you something women fell for a bad guy 40 times more then for a good guy. and that is because good guys are being discriminated by most of the women. and therefor a nice guy does not have too many options. what you said about in bold up doesn't make any sense
d'Arthez Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 Why women like bad boys? Impossible to give a general answer. A fear of boredom, in one of many ways? Issues with dad? Almost everything is possibly a "reason". It is not hard to rationalize a jail record for violent assault as "standing up for himself and his beliefs." If it is wise, is a different matter. The whole dichotomy of nice guys and bad boys is false. As would be the dichotomy of women without issues, and women with issues. So what are we left with? A civilization that desperately wants to believe (popular) culture, and how everything is supposed to be. Of course the whole ideology of "love", based on false premises, remains untouched. Hence the eternal disappointment and disenchantment so many people suffer from. It is almost a chronic disease. Some women "love" bad boys. Some don't.
MassiveAtom Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 That sounds awfully naieve, I would have expected that question from someone far younger. There won't be a next time I'm with someone who is emotionally abusive and there won't be a next time that I have to sneak out of bed in the morning to go cry in another room so he won't hear me. You can't control your emotions, you can't help what you feel. The only thing you can control is your reactions. yeah, "SOUNDING" naive is my strong suit. I like that you picked up on that, and didn't judge me to BE naive. One certainly can control how one feels, AND how one reacts. A simple tactic really. but your strategy has to be solid and well thought out. Yes you will feel sad about some things, some times, because of someone else, even, but allowing yourself to descend into the darkness and be wrought with melancholy, is unnecessary. It might be semantics, but I truly believe that you are in control of your emotional state at all times. they're YOUR emotions after all, you aren't THEIR person. Also, I commend you on your decision to avoid being in abusive relationships, that's a great testament to your level of self-respect and esteem. just my 2mil
alphamale Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 I really don't think ALPHA is converting otherwise "nice guys" over to the dark side on this forum. He is just speaking what alot of guys have thought and felt and wondered about before. I think ALPHA was a nice guy that got burned one time to many and decided to try a different approach. And it worked for him to get what he wants. I totally agree with the above DEVILDAWG and I've stated it a # of times on LS myself. I was created, not unlike frankenstein. When I was dumb, young and naive (in my 20's) I thought that being nice and catering to women would get them to like me. It did not work and actually failed miserabley. Now at 40 I feel I have a much better handle on how women operate and what they want. So I have changed my self so that I can get what I want. And it worked. Part of it is intelligence and part is modifiying my behaviour and part is experience. Either way, I'm coming out ahead now. I wish I could go back in time 15 years and retain the knowledge I have now. I'd be dangerous. Oh well?! Women need to take part of the blame here also because they have a big role in the creating of men who don't treat them so good.
hooghie Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 really? let me tell you something women fell for a bad guy 40 times more then for a good guy. and that is because good guys are being discriminated by most of the women. and therefor a nice guy does not have too many options. what you said about in bold up doesn't make any sense Women go for bad boys because bad boys have sex appeal and a backbone. Nice guys usually don't. Let me tell you about the time I dated a 'nice guy.' I had a bad boy boyfriend at the time- freshman year in college and I became very close friends with a guy (Sean) in some of my classes. He was soooo nice to me. He wasn't very attractive physically, but I started to fall for him because of his personality. He would constantly say 'why don't you drop that jerk. I'll treat you so much better, blah blah blah.' Eventually, I did drop the jerk and Sean and I fell deeply in love. Once I was 100% into him- HE DUMPED ME AND IT WAS ON VALENTINE'S DAY to top it off. His reasons? That he couldn't deal with the fact that other guys hit on me. NOTHING was wrong in the relationship itself- just the nice guy's insecurity issues.
JS17 Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 A simple tactic really. but your strategy has to be solid and well thought out. This is not your emotions. This is your brain talking, not your heart.
alphamale Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 Some women "love" bad boys. Some don't. this is true D'ARTHEZ. Only problem is that its usually the good looking and feminine ones who go for the masculine testosterone-driven guys who cause trouble. Ever see a gorgeous blonde nymphette with a geeky-nerdy-bookworm type guy? You probably won't unless he paid her for the night or unless he is Bill Gates
jaye Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 HE DUMPED ME AND IT WAS ON VALENTINE'S DAY to top it off. His reasons? That he couldn't deal with the fact that other guys hit on me. NOTHING was wrong in the relationship itself- just the nice guy's insecurity issues. I still blame bad guys for it, its just never enough for em, and they just don't leave entirely out of the woman's life that they have been with. when i go for a date i make sure in first 2 to 3 dates that what kind of guys has she been with if i even smell a bit of badboy stench i walk away.
ReluctantRomeo Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 Ever see a gorgeous blonde nymphette with a geeky-nerdy-bookworm type guy? Every time I'm dating and look in the mirror on the way out Although sometimes it's a brunette or darker nymphette
hooghie Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 this is true D'ARTHEZ. Only problem is that its usually the good looking and feminine ones who go for the masculine testosterone-driven guys who cause trouble. Ever see a gorgeous blonde nymphette with a geeky-nerdy-bookworm type guy? You probably won't unless he paid her for the night or unless he is Bill Gates EXACTLY. A problem I have with 'nice guys' is that they want the hot women and whine that the hot women don't want them back. So, how are they really so nice if they go after a girl primarily based on her looks? I have yet to see a 'nice guy' go after an overweight, unattractive girl who would probably appreciate him.
JS17 Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 Every time I'm dating and look in the mirror on the way out Although sometimes it's a brunette or darker nymphette good answer RR
alphamale Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 EXACTLY. A problem I have with 'nice guys' is that they want the hot women and whine that the hot women don't want them back. All men want the hot women HOOGHIE...but very few can actually have the hot women. And I think this holds true for women also. Most women would want a good looking, educated, very successful man but only few of them can have one (as in the hot ones)...
JS17 Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 All men want the hot women HOOGHIE...but very few can actually have the hot women. And I think this holds true for women also. Most women would want a good looking, educated, very successful man but only few of them can have one (as in the hot ones)... Of course everyone wants the whole package but most women do not feel comfortable with extremely attractive men and vice versa although to a lesser extent. Many women want to be the more attractive person in the relationship. Looks aren't everything. People, either consciously or subconsciously, rank all of the qualities that are important to them. Some care about money a lot, some don't care at all. Some care about intelligence, some don't. Some care about looks, some don't. All to a varying degree. I can't imagine anyone out there saying I want someone who will treat me like s***. Some people have the courage to leave when it happens and some don't. Every relationship works (or doesn't) for it's own unique reason.
loony Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 Ever see a gorgeous blonde nymphette with a geeky-nerdy-bookworm type guy? Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller? I've seen some gorgeous women with bookworm-type guys.
hooghie Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 All men want the hot women HOOGHIE...but very few can actually have the hot women. And I think this holds true for women also. Most women would want a good looking, educated, very successful man but only few of them can have one (as in the hot ones)... I agree with you. I'm just saying that the nice guys who whine about women wanting the bad boys (i.e. not them) are going after women who are WAY out of their league.
jaye Posted October 8, 2005 Posted October 8, 2005 EXACTLY. A problem I have with 'nice guys' is that they want the hot women and whine that the hot women don't want them back. So, how are they really so nice if they go after a girl primarily based on her looks? I have yet to see a 'nice guy' go after an overweight, unattractive girl who would probably appreciate him. Ask even an 80 year old guy regardless what the hell he looks like he wants a hot woman ask a jailer samething he wants, don't blame the nice guys for it. oh and whine nobody whines more then women. yet they don't go for good looking face as much as bad dudes do. and i bet ya all these crappy guys have cheated on their mates at least for once. yeah and like alpha said do you not see and exotic blonde with a jerk. beating the crap outa her cus she didn't have enough money to buy him a blunt?
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