Mz. Pixie Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 Based on the number of posts we've had on this subject I thought I would post some relationship advice I just saw in a article pertaining to why women love bad boys. Enjoy- *Low self-esteem. True, some women do think, on some level: "I don't deserve someone better." (It comes in other versions, too, such as: "You're right, drugs are more interesting than I am," etc.) *Dear old dad. It's an Oedipal thing. That is, we have the sense that our fellas should not be like our fathers. As single New Yorker Janet, 30, puts it: "If a guy treats me well he reminds me of my father. I don't want to date my father." *Not so dear old dad. There's also the opposite scenario. "Did Dad abandon us through divorce? Was he emotionally unavailable? Abusive? Having an affair?"asks Dr. Lieberman. "Those kinds of scenarios drive us to prove we are loveable by making a hard-to-get bad boy love us." *"Home" Improvement. "Women love projects," says Janet. "Bad boys suggest that alterations can be made." *Feeling special. "I used to think that dating someone who snubbed the rest of the population but nuzzled with me was quite a victory," says single woman Melissa, 25, of Chapel Hill, North Carolina.
slubberdegullion Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 ...*"Home" Improvement. "Women love projects," says Janet. "Bad boys suggest that alterations can be made." This is SO true! I've seen it time and time and time again. It's been said that a man marries a woman in hopes that she won't change, but she does. A woman marries a man in hopes that he will change, but he doesn't.
alphamale Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 your also forgetting that "bad boys" bring out emotions and feelings in women that "nice guys" cannot. Women love their emotions and feelings, even if they are negative ones. Any dude who can reach deep inside a woman's psyche and bring out this rush of feeling and emotions will have pussy for life
JS17 Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 your also forgetting that "bad boys" bring out emotions and feelings in women that "nice guys" cannot. Women love their emotions and feelings, even if they are negative ones. Actually, I would prefer someone who doesn't make me cry. Any dude who can reach deep inside a woman's psyche and bring out this rush of feeling and emotions will have pussy for life Once again your sense of compassion and decency really tugs on my heartstrings *Dear old dad. It's an Oedipal thing. That is, we have the sense that our fellas should not be like our fathers. As single New Yorker Janet, 30, puts it: "If a guy treats me well he reminds me of my father. I don't want to date my father." I've never heard this one before. Most women I know are looking for someone like their father. It seems to make more sense to me. They go for what they know.
brittanyjean259 Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 girls tend to go for people like their fathers) on a sub concious level-they dont realize it..so hopefuly everyones's father is nice haha
alphamale Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 Actually, I would prefer someone who doesn't make me cry. I'm sure you would JS17...but in reality women fall hard for men who do make them cry.
JS17 Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 I'm sure you would JS17...but in reality women fall hard for men who do make them cry.
Pyro Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 I'm sure you would JS17...but in reality women fall hard for men who do make them cry. Not true in my experience. I was a considerate and kind BF and my GF's at the time loved me.
alphamale Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 what do you mean ":rolleyes:", JS17? have not you posted 100 times on LS about some dude who you're still in love with who treated you bad and then broke up with you? I mean WTF!
JS17 Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 Not true in my experience. I was a considerate and kind BF and my GF's at the time loved me. I learned the hard way that as soon as they make me cry...bolt. Most of my ex's did not make me cry and I look back with much higher regards on the ones that didn't.
Pyro Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 I learned the hard way that as soon as they make me cry...bolt. Most of my ex's did not make me cry and I look back with much higher regards on the ones that didn't. Why thank you JS17 . We just love our women and understand that with a little kindness, you can go a long way.
JS17 Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 what do you mean ":rolleyes:", JS17? have not you posted 100 times on LS about some dude who you're still in love with who treated you bad and then broke up with you? I mean WTF! I NEVER said that I was still in love with him!!! I have been over HIM since I started on LS, I have not been over the damage that the relationship did. And for the record, he was the one of the greatest guys I've ever met the first few months and sappy as he!!, I spent the rest of our relationship wishing "Nice Ex" would come back and bury "a**h*** Ex". I still think this whole bad boy regime you've created is pure BS. >>> <<< (you know what that means )
Jayhawks Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 *"Home" Improvement. "Women love projects," says Janet. "Bad boys suggest that alterations can be made." It has been my experience that some women love the bad boy because they think they can change them into a pseudo "bad boy". They like the rough exterior but want them to have a heart.
lindya Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 I'm sure you would JS17...but in reality women fall hard for men who do make them cry. If you fall in love with someone, then certainly they will have the power to make you cry. The pain of disillusionment does that to people. I suppose that the unhealthy dynamics you're talking about set in when people set up the whole roller-coaster effect. Make her cry, then turn back into Mr Nice Guy and comfort her. Turn it into a regular pattern. Emotionally abusive relationships aren't a source of energy. They're just a drain on it, and I think many people who have trapped themselves in that sort of relationship are constantly trying to find the impetus and self esteem to get out. Most people I know would view time with their partner as a valuable source of therapeutic time-out from the stress and grind of daily life. Seriously, who wants to be spending their free time snottering into a hankie? Much nicer to come back to Mr Sensitive, Caring and Supportive. Preferably with a bottle of wine in one hand and a bottle of massage oil in the other
Author Mz. Pixie Posted October 6, 2005 Author Posted October 6, 2005 Hey guys- this is not me. I'm totally happy being married to a nice guy- I just posted this because the topic comes up so much. It was on MSN. Alpha- most women love a man who meets their needs, all their needs. Any man who can do that with me can definitely have pussy for life. Every day I thank God that I've got a wonderful husband who treats me like he does and knows how to rock my world!
JS17 Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 If you fall in love with someone, then certainly they will have the power to make you cry. The pain of disillusionment does that to people. I suppose that the unhealthy dynamics you're talking about set in when people set up the whole roller-coaster effect. Make her cry, then turn back into Mr Nice Guy and comfort her. Turn it into a regular pattern. Emotionally abusive relationships aren't a source of energy. They're just a drain on it, and I think many people who have trapped themselves in that sort of relationship are constantly trying to find the impetus and self esteem to get out. Most people I know would view time with their partner as a valuable source of therapeutic time-out from the stress and grind of daily life. Seriously, who wants to be spending their free time snottering into a hankie? Much nicer to come back to Mr Sensitive, Caring and Supportive. Preferably with a bottle of wine in one hand and a bottle of massage oil in the other lindya, alpha doesn't differentiate between regular guys that do stupid stuff sometimes and abusive (and in your case narcissistic as well) men. To him they're both bad boys. I could see making an argument for the former but not for the latter.
amber245 Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 Bad boys can be fun. I wouldn't marry one tho!
brittanyjean259 Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 i think every one goes through that bad boy type maybe? you always want what you cant have?
RecordProducer Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 your also forgetting that "bad boys" bring out emotions and feelings in women that "nice guys" cannot. Women love their emotions and feelings, even if they are negative ones. Any dude who can reach deep inside a woman's psyche and bring out this rush of feeling and emotions will have pussy for life Very interesting. So you insist on favoring the bad guys and puking over the nice guys. How would you feel if we started poisoning women around that bitches have success with men while all the good girls finish last? We'll find tons of proofs to support this theory. What bothers me about it is that you call things the wrong name so some men might believe you that in order to have success in love you actually need to treat women like sh*t and never be nice to them. In your world women are divided in four main groups by two criteria: beauty and willingness to have sex with you. And the only category that you're interested in is pretty women willing to have sex with you. Being the self-confident, self-controlled, dominant leader has nothing to do with the bad-boy pattern, just like being polite, loving, and sweet doesn't fit in the negative aspect of the nice-guy formula. There are other ways than showing disrespect to a woman in order to make her sweat over you. Also being affectionate and caring (without being emotionally dependent and insecure) is the ultimate condition for strengthening the emotional bonds between a couple. Women want to feel precious and only then they fall in love deeply and in a healthy way. De facto, the famous seducer Casanova has had such enormous success amongst women because he'd make each one of them feel really special.
whichwayisup Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 your also forgetting that "bad boys" bring out emotions and feelings in women that "nice guys" cannot. Women love their emotions and feelings, even if they are negative ones. Any dude who can reach deep inside a woman's psyche and bring out this rush of feeling and emotions will have pussy for life I hate to say it, but this statement by ALPHAMALE is completely true. Though, the last part, he may not have the same pussy for life but he's a badboy so chances are he won't care too much! For me, badboy represents SEX appeal, not the "puking" and being a dumbass...It's the push/pull thing.
RecordProducer Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 Though, he may not have the same pussy for life God forbid! He doesn't want to! But after all, isn't a pussy just a pussy? I mean imagine eating eggs 3 times a day, every day, your whole life. Sure it's different eggs every time (then you can change the type of birds and even try crocodile or turtle eggs), but it's still just eggs. While if you have one woman for the rest of your life, she will never be the same - her mood will always be different!
lindya Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 What bothers me about it is that you call things the wrong name so some men might believe you that in order to have success in love you actually need to treat women like sh*t and never be nice to them. RP, I share that concern. I do think there's a chance that some of Alpha's advice could be interpreted and acted out in a fairly destructive way by some of the weaker, more impressionable male readers. Hopefully any potential negative effects are balanced by other more women-friendly posts.
Devildog Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 I really don't think ALPHA is converting otherwise "nice guys" over to the dark side on this forum. He is just speaking what alot of guys have thought and felt and wondered about before. I think ALPHA was a nice guy that got burned one time to many and decided to try a different approach. And it worked for him to get what he wants. ALPHA has yet to say anything on this forum that I haven't thought myself at some time or another. I just haven't gotten burned enough times to follow his lead to the fullest extent.
Woggle Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 Because bad biys are full of life and passion while nice guys have no spine and no passion for living. I consdider myself a nice with the heart of a bad boy. Women like a man that makes them feel alive and they can have fun with.
Author Mz. Pixie Posted October 7, 2005 Author Posted October 7, 2005 My husband is a nice guy and he certainly isn't spineless with no passion for living. In fact, I've done more "bad girl" stuff with him than with anyone in my life. People are confused between doormat and nice guy. There is a big difference.
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