slubberdegullion Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 FDR, in a speech to Congress just after the surprise attack on Pearl Harbour in 1941, said, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself." He was SO right. As I peruse the different headings and posts, there seems to be so much angst about avoiding issues, avoiding pain, avoiding dealing with important things. Sure, no one enjoys pain. No one goes out of their way to experience pain, be it physical or emotional. But pain is a fact of life, and we only get better in dealing with it when we meet it head-on and wrestle with it. How long must a bad relationship last because one of the partners is fearful of leaving and striking out on his/her own, or afraid of never finding love again? How many days, months or years go by before a husband finally says to a wife, "I'm hurting"? How many healing opportunities are wasted because a wife won't say to her husband, "My suffering is killing both of us"? How many times do we hear, "Nothing's wrong" when in actual fact there is a great deal wrong? How much agony is experienced needlessly because a couple refuses to admit to their partner that their relationship is in distress? If we could only screw up the courage to face our pain directly, instead of doing a dance of avoidance, would we not all be better off? We fear the pain because the pain is real. It hurts. It's frightening. It saps our strength, tears at our spirit and crushes our desire. But the fear of the pain is often more debilitating than the pain itself. Somehow, we manage the pain of loss, and we become better people for it. But when our fear gets in the way of growing, not only do we become a plaything of our irrational fears, we go through the pain repeatedly. So we end up fearing the fear, which only compounds the agony. It is only through challenge, through pain, through change, that we grow and learn and evolve. To become a better person, a better partner, a better lover, a better parent, a better caregiver, we need to recognize that the pain which we experience is telling us about ourselves and our place in the world. Some may say that God - in whatever form you happen to believe - will not give us more than we can handle. That's absurd, of course. Reality speaks of suicide and drug addiction, abuse and injustice. It goes too far to say, "Embrace your pain," because no one wishes it. But, IMO, it does not go too far to say, "Face your pain, and learn from it," for if pain teaches us nothing else, it teaches us that we have wells of inner strength that we do not know even exists. The only way to tap into that well, and into our inner strength and greatness, is through the transcendance of pain. That is it's purpose.
amber245 Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 I'm always glad to tell people if there's something wrong. I never say "nothing's wrong". In fact, even if I didn't think anything was wrong, if someone asks "is there anything wrong?" I'll soon think of something!
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