wreck Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 So i started out trying not to have contact from my last post a week or so ago, then she texts me tells me she misses me tells me she wants to take it slowly and that this time apart has given her some freedom and she feels that we could possibly have something over time now that i'm moving out. So i met up with her, we met in a bar and pretended it was a date, it was really bizarre we cuddled had a kiss then as we broke apart realised her bag had been stolen! so had that drama, she came back to our house with me to get locks changed, and stayed over! We had sex which was amazing, we had closeness like we hadn't had for such a long time. then space again, i moved into my flat totally freaked out because i felt like i'd made a terrible mistake moving in there, with 2 people double my age which i still do think is a mistake but just taking it day by day. She came to stay with me the first night i was there, we had a great night together we talked we hugged we kissed we had sex we just had a great loving night, spent the next morning together then she went. I did feel reall sad and lonely when she did but i thought great atleast we are getting somewhere. Then the next few days she got more distant, stopped any plans we had and said she needed more time so i thought i'd leave it to this weekend to see her. I tried my very hardest not to text her yesterday until about 9pm when she text me she needed help with something at home, told me she missed me, so stupidly i went running sorted it out but just got too upset and needed to talk about it all, we ended up just going to sleep me in a complete state last night and this morning and all of today. Everybody i know is telling me to break contact and my head is telling me that too but i'm dying here, just the thought that i'll never kiss her again never hold her never have sex with her again. I don't know what to do, she is feeling worried as well and that we need to break it off completely and then hopefully in time we might get it ack but is she just holding on to the comfort of me? I'm so in love with her adn this is tearing me apart.! Do i torture myself even more and see her on saturday with a possiblity that it might make her see the me she loves and misses it won't make her change her mind though now that's for sure or not yet! or do i go away for the weekend and stop all contact. !!!!I know the right answer but i know you'll all sympathise iw ant to see her desperately i never want there to be a last time :'''( xxxxxxx
Art_Critic Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 This woman is gonna tug at your heartstrings unless you do NC.. She is just using you for filler material until someone that really trips her trigger comes along.. As soon as that person comes along she will kick you to the curb and you won't even see it coming..
Author wreck Posted October 6, 2005 Author Posted October 6, 2005 :'''( that's what i'm afraid of i just don't want to believe it. Our relationship was so intense so strong so deep so completely different to any i had before i don't want to believe it. She said to me she doesn't want to sleep with anyone else, that she won't but she doesnt' want to actually say the words to me because that mesns she's my gf again! just feel like i can't breath, i'm choking i almost fainted earlier this is completely crucifying me! :''''''''''''''''( x
DontCare Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 Yeah ... NC is the way to go boy. You might feel pretty terrible without calling her but trust me ..... "Patience is bitter but its fruit is sweet". Its a battle out there and we have to win it. Dont let them know that you are affected in any way. Just walk away .... the coolest walk you can ever walk.
Art_Critic Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 She is only saying those things to you to keep you around.. As soon as the guy that she wants to sleep with makes his appearance.. You will be toast..
Author wreck Posted October 6, 2005 Author Posted October 6, 2005 it's just so bloody painful so hard!!!!!! :'''(
DontCare Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 :'''( that's what i'm afraid of i just don't want to believe it. Our relationship was so intense so strong so deep so completely different to any i had before i don't want to believe it. She said to me she doesn't want to sleep with anyone else, that she won't but she doesnt' want to actually say the words to me because that mesns she's my gf again! just feel like i can't breath, i'm choking i almost fainted earlier this is completely crucifying me! :''''''''''''''''( x It is unfortunate, but we all have to go through these experiences. This is what makes us stronger. You have to go through the process of feeling hurt. But NC is going to make it better over time. Time is the greatest healer. I just broke up with a cheating g/f three weeks ago and I am already getting back to normal life. The pain isnt the same as it was on day one .... its much easier now. Its a battle out there, and you my boy, have to win it. Dont BOW. Dont give in. Just WALK OUT. That is the only way to keep your heart and your respect intact. If you bow, you will never have any respect from that girl. And she will loose any feeling she might have for you. She will always treat you like doormat. So WALK AWAY .... like today never happened. Remember .... ITS A WAR OF HEARTS.
In Sync Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 You are creating so much suffering in your life right now. I ask you why are you doing this to yourself? You are putting yourself out there to be emotionally wrung through a wringer. If you had NC with her completely... what's the worst thing do you think will happen to you? You will not die. Cry yes. Hurt yes. Be completely sad, yes. But you won't be put through a emotional wringer which a miserable way to exist.
Author wreck Posted October 7, 2005 Author Posted October 7, 2005 You'd be proud of me guys! I was supposed to call her last night and i didn't, i text her a text :confused explaining how hurt i was how hard i was finding it to cope with everyday things how i love her but i cannot do this to myself anymore and that until she knows what she wants and isn't completely confused i can't see her or talk to her. God it was hard but i hope that it will either make her realise what she has lost over time and possibly want to start again, if i'm in that place still, or the other way.... that i don't want to think about but have to accept it could be. Hope i've done the right thing! So i'm back here at 1st day of NC x
scobro Posted October 14, 2005 Posted October 14, 2005 I did the same thing you are doing years back and it never worked out I got crushed but as soon as I met someone else, the woman that crushed me was all about having a relationship and loving me.Everyone wants what they think is not available to them anymore.
tonyp56 Posted October 15, 2005 Posted October 15, 2005 I can understand what you are feeling. My wife and I were together for 11 years, almost 7 of those years we were married. She left me, but instead of doing what your ex did/does, she has completly threw me away. No emotional anything. It has been 5 weeks since she left and that long since we, um, you know what. So I understand what you are feeling. I could deal with death, but her leaving me is worse than anything else in the world. Because nothing is 100% for sure, part of me thinks she will come back, but most of me thinks she won't. My heart still wants her, my brain tells me that she is gone and get over her, but my stupid heart won't! At least with death, it is final, there is no chance! I guess, take it day by day, and for gods sake get away from her, don't answer her calls, text, whatever. Don't go over and have sex with her, that is the worst thing you can do, she is using you as a sex toy more or less now. She tells you what you want to hear so that you will give her sex. She doesn't really feel what she tells you. Besides if you take a couple of months away from her, she may hunt you down and really come back to you, if you at that time you still want her. I on the other hand, can't do that, we have three kids, and if I have NC with wife, then I will have NC with my kids, and I can't do that.
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