GeorgiaPeach1 Posted March 5, 2020 Posted March 5, 2020 scooby-philly, assuming what you're saying is correct (I still disagree), should he not have the decency to at least communicate with her that he's processing things? I mean, was he not just in her body and indicating things were fine the day before? Does intimacy not mean anything special? Even if what you say is true, I personally would not want to be with a man who cannot see beyond his own emotions/viewpoint and finds it acceptable to treat a woman this way after she's been vulnerable with him.
Author Barbiebernie Posted March 6, 2020 Author Posted March 6, 2020 2 hours ago, scooby-philly said: That's not true at all. Men process emotions, typically, slower than women. Yes, typically things do work out if there's physical intimacy on the first date - but not always - but slow burners, as others have said - can create a problem too as he gets to like her and then the sex is terrible. Especially if he's sensual and physical, which everyone is not. You can't help a change in behavior if your feelings are strong. Meaning, if he was really liking her and then the sex was awful, then he may need a few days to process things. Again, this is not meant to address any situation where he was simply looking to get laid and then leave, etc., this is about (and if) this is a normal situation. Plus, we are only hearing her side of the story. She could the type of person that's more reserved for a long period of time and then boom - they have sex and all of a sudden the flood gates open. We just need more info first. He said in the text that he sent me to stop seeing me that he has been trying to understand what was missing for him. So he already had the question in his mind yet did not have any problem having sex with me.
scooby-philly Posted March 6, 2020 Posted March 6, 2020 2 hours ago, GeorgiaPeach1 said: scooby-philly, assuming what you're saying is correct (I still disagree), should he not have the decency to at least communicate with her that he's processing things? I mean, was he not just in her body and indicating things were fine the day before? Does intimacy not mean anything special? Even if what you say is true, I personally would not want to be with a man who cannot see beyond his own emotions/viewpoint and finds it acceptable to treat a woman this way after she's been vulnerable with him. That I agree with. He should communicate his feelings. But...let's face it...he could have simply wanted to get laid unfortunately 1
simpycurious Posted March 6, 2020 Posted March 6, 2020 Barbie, it does not make much sense. It's not you, it's HIM. So, don't feel as if you didn't anything to cause his "weirdness." I think you need to find a guy that values you and appreciates you and knows how to show it. 1
Saracena Posted March 6, 2020 Posted March 6, 2020 14 minutes ago, scooby-philly said: . But...let's face it...he could have simply wanted to get laid unfortunately Did he though? If so, he waited an awfully long time, passing up earlier opportunities. Of course he may have been relying on the sex in order to ignite a spark and when it didn't happen, he gave up. I really don't know what to make of this guy and his strange behaviour, at all. In fact, I'm wondering if he's gay! 1 1
Author Barbiebernie Posted March 6, 2020 Author Posted March 6, 2020 (edited) 7 minutes ago, Saracena said: Did he though? If so, he waited an awfully long time, passing up earlier opportunities. Of course he may have been relying on the sex in order to ignite a spark and when it didn't happen, he gave up. I really don't know what to make of this guy and his strange behaviour, at all. In fact, I'm wondering if he's gay! Or not creating any opportunity himself. I feel we would be having our date tonigh if I did not ask him to stay and spend the night with me. Edited to add: having another dinner date! As I mentioned he had not invited me to his place in the time frame we have dated. Edited March 6, 2020 by Barbiebernie
Backinthesaddleagain Posted March 6, 2020 Posted March 6, 2020 37 minutes ago, Barbiebernie said: Or not creating any opportunity himself. I feel we would be having our date tonigh if I did not ask him to stay and spend the night with me. Edited to add: having another dinner date! As I mentioned he had not invited me to his place in the time frame we have dated. Wait, what??? you are going back for seconds???
Author Barbiebernie Posted March 6, 2020 Author Posted March 6, 2020 12 minutes ago, Backinthesaddleagain said: Wait, what??? you are going back for seconds??? No no no! I will update my comment. I deleted all his contact and blocked him! 1
Author Barbiebernie Posted March 6, 2020 Author Posted March 6, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, Barbiebernie said: No no no! I will update my comment. I deleted all his contact and blocked him! I am unable to edit my comment. That ship has sailed for me. I am not having another date with him. when it is over it is over for me! What I was trying to say was if I did not invite him over my home we would be probably having another outside(in example dinner date today). He only waited to have sex to tell me that he did not have the spark! Edited March 6, 2020 by Barbiebernie Spelling correction 1
ccas93 Posted March 6, 2020 Posted March 6, 2020 I, a man, have been dumped by a woman because the sex was not what she wanted. We waited 6 dates to have sex. When we finally had it, apparently I did not give her the absolute pounding she wanted, and I guess she didn't think I had it in me to do so. Maybe my lack of performance with her was because I thought she was really cute, but she wasn't one of those women who I undress and my heart starts pounding. So both genders are guilty of of dumping after the first few sex sessions. It's not because "oh men just want one thing" Also, last fall I lost interest in a girl after two sex sessions because I realized the second time I wasn't really into how she looked naked. Cute fully dressed and clothed, but in her birthday suit, she was kinda meh. Personality-wise, I didn't think we were exactly soulmates, so the decision to end things was easy. In your case OP, could have been that the sex wasn't the kind of sex he wanted, or maybe for whatever reason being naked with you just didn't turn him on that much. Next!
dramallama Posted March 6, 2020 Posted March 6, 2020 If you met him in late Jan then you've known each other 6 weeks? 11 dates is quite a lot in that time, and coupled with the intense texting seems like he's a love bomber. Good riddance, at least it wasn't that long!
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