totallyconfused Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 OMG My new man is a girlfriend!! Seriously, having a girlfriend is exhausting. This long distance relationship is going in crumbles. I've come to the conclusion why my new relationship isn't working out as well as I want it to be. My new so-called manly man, is really a girlfriend. Please realize that in this list of examples, realize we have only been dating for less than 2 months. Actually today is our "2nd month". Character traits/examples: he told me I love you in < 6 weekshe gets mad when i miss his calls, then when i do pick up he's like why didnt u pick up my calls, then is like - if your so busy i'll let you gohe cried to me < 2 months - why did he cry?he cried to me b/c i hadnt comforted him when he was feeling "lonely & unsure", instead i told him we went too fasthe tells me "I Love you" when i tried to break things offhe thinks its a sign of showing no effort when i tell him i want to sleep during his lunchbreak b/c he wants to talk on the phonehe wanted to define the relationship at 4 weeks - where we hadnt even kissedwants to buy his sister a jacket while i told him to tint out her new carhe introduced me to his whole fam +xtended fam in < 6 weeks, he has yet to meet my momsays I Love you to me at least 3 times a dayhe's mentioned marriage wants me to listen to his advice - he thinks we should share and support one another by actually doing their advice (as if i cant think on my own?!) DRUMROLL PLEASE he told me that I am "IT", that he could spend the rest of his life with me We argue NONSTOP. Now whenever I tell him lets just break up, he tells me i love you. This makes it so hard to break up with him. I now realize why guys say - its so hard to break up with a girl. I will tell you now, I will NEVER ever do this to my future boyfriends. I SWEAR. What do I do? How do I vanish into thin air? I miss my exboyfriend now.
NTB Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 oh man this is great just because now you know how us guys feel but sucks cause your in that position all i can say is just man up well in your case girl up?? anyway dump him tell him it's not working out and you want to end it. then go on your merry way and don't call him 3 days later just to see how he is doing that will cause more confusion for him
Nur Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 Wow, that guy is really clingy. Tell him that you don't reciprocate his feelings, and if he doesn't back off you are seriously going to have to end it. I guess he just must be really insecure about himself... not a good sign. But if he doesn't take a hint and give you a little bit of breathing room, and you really do feel like it should be over, go through with it. It's just a waste of both of your time to prolong something that has no chance of working.
gidgit1961 Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 OMG..I cringed when I read this...brought back old memories of my ex-fiance. I met him at a horrible time in my life, I had just gone through a divorce, and cancer, and was at a really low point in my life. TA DA!!!...into my life came a knight in shining armor. (This is what I saw..my friends however saw something completely different and were questioning my sanity...lol) I live in the US..he lives in Scotland..so it was a long distance relationship from the start. We saw each other once every four or five months. We talked on the phone every day....EVERY day!!! I worked right across the street from my apartment and, as I walked up my stairs, (every day!!!) I could hear my phone ringing. I'd answer and hear his paniced voice on the other end saying " I was worried Sweetie!..where were you?" (I was 5 minutes late getting home...) I would get up at 1:30 in the morning to meet him online ( we used netmeeting) so we could talk before he went to work. I'd then go back to bed at 4 am, only to get back up for MY work at 5:30. I'd come home, and be back online with him as soon as I hit the door, and be in bed by 10 pm. My health was suffering badly. I finally had to tell him I could no longer get up in the middle of the night to meet with him, because it was affecting my health. He was ok with that, but 2 days later was whining that he missed me, and wanted me to meet with him in the mornings again. When I reminded him why I had stopped, his answer was "I thought that was just temporary..that you just needed rest." On the VERY rare occasions that I would make plans, with the girls from work, he would want to know who was going..where we were going..if we were going to drink..WHAT I was going to drink..etc...etc...etc...followed by..."You go have fun Sweetie..I trust you completely". (Uh huh) He still lived at home (He was 32 when I met him), but told me it was for financial reasons. His sisters would ask me why I was with him...lol His parents were just thrilled at the thought that he was finally going to move out. (He asked me to marry him 2 months after we met) About a year into the relationship I woke up, and started trying to figure out what to do. My friends all shouted "Get rid of him!!!!", but I was trying to figure out if I could live with an alcoholic, control freak (oh yeah...forgot that alcohol problem. He actually told me it wasn't a problem, since his doctor said his liver was fine...rofl!!!) I made one last trip to see him, to spend Christmas and New years with him and his family, and we fought the whole time. I slept on the floor most of the time, while he took the bed. I was sick as a dog, couldn't breathe, hacking, etc, and he wanted to have sex..and cried until I gave in. To end this long drawn out tale, I finally figured out that MY trying to make things work wasn't working. He was trying to control every aspect of my life, and was preying on my emotional state to hold onto me. It took 2 and a half years for me to get the backbone to break things off, and I did it totally. No calls (I changed my number), no email (I blocked him from my accounts), totally gone. I accept my responsibility for MY part of the mess, I let myself wallow in his compliments, etc, and turned a blind eye to all his faults, because he said he was trying to change, and because I was so beat down from everything else in my life. The best advice I can give you is this...ask yourself if this is the life you want to live for the next 30 years. Is his behavior something you can accept? Do you HONESTLY think he's going to change? If you answer no to any of those questions, end it now...if you answer yes...good luck
Art_Critic Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 Just breakup with him.. Making fun of him isn't going to help your stituation.. By the way not all the things you have mentioned make him a girly guy.. It sounds to me that you are not into him at all..If you were some of those things would be A-okay to you. Break it off.. Save the poor sap further embarassment
JS17 Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 Just breakup with him.. Making fun of him isn't going to help your stituation.. By the way not all the things you have mentioned make him a girly guy.. It sounds to me that you are not into him at all..If you were some of those things would be A-okay to you. Break it off.. Save the poor sap further embarassment Ditto! And I wouldn't mind getting some of those things from a guy.
noclobber Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 I really think that ur new man is heavily insecure and desperate. All the signs reek of desperation. Ur situation very much sounds like Lonestar's experience with a "nice guy". I would recommend that u go over that thread and see how it all ended up. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t57244/ Usually all this smothering herald the arrival of something nasty that is yet to manifest. Good Luck!
JS17 Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 I just want to add that my sister is dating a guy like this. Similar situation except she is happy and not trying to break things off, they're living together too. It's actually a very healthy give and take relationship...very evenly keeled. I think it might not be for everyone and maybe not you TC. So if it isn't you should just walk, trust me, there are tons of girls who would grab up a guy like this.
Saphrin_218 Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 This is how me and my guy are, we've been together just over 2 months, and the m-word has come up already. We were saying I love you at two weeks, I'm about to meet his extened family in a few days(he's already met mine), and I could never be happier.
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