Uptown182 Posted March 2, 2020 Posted March 2, 2020 So the other day a guy who lives in my building asked me out for a drink, I declined since I have a boyfriend. Last night I was on the phone with my boyfriend, and decided to tell him because the guy does live in my building and I just felt like he’s pretty honest with me when it comes to this kind of stuff, so I should be honest with him. When I told him, he asked a few questions about the guy and then said “are you happy he asked you out”? which I found to be an odd question, (he’s from overseas so sometimes there’s a language barrier between him and I) and I think I might’ve taken it the wrong way, and I responded saying “well do you think this is the first guy who’s asked me out since we’ve started dating? I just told you about him because he lives in my building” he responded saying “Well I get asked out too, people want to set me up all the time” and then proceeded to tell me about some 30 year old who asked him out recently (he said he declined of course). So in response I asked him if he was mad I told him about this guy, he said no, and I told him it sounded like he was since he decided to give me a run down of everyone who’s shown interest in him. He told me I’m his gf and he doesn’t need anyone else, he’s happy with me and then we moved on. Did I make a mistake in telling him about his guy? Was his reaction out of jealousy? Because it did hurt me a bit, but then again I guess me telling him about this guy probably hurt him.
Gaeta Posted March 2, 2020 Posted March 2, 2020 To me, it's a huge mistake to tell a boyfriend that is long distance that another man living 3 doors down is trying to get with you. Did this neighbor force you? are you scared of him? Does he harass you? If the answer is 'no' then there was nooooooo need at all to report that to your boyfriend. It's not like his best friend hit on you. You're a grown woman capable of turning down invitations. That type of stuff has nothing to do with honesty, it's all about wanting attention from your partner.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted March 2, 2020 Posted March 2, 2020 Yeah. I really feel that some things are best left unsaid and this is one of them. Being honest is one thing, but providing every detail of your life that does not impact your relationship is another. Your bf definitely sounded jealous, insecure. I had an ex who was like that. Not attractive, but some people just don't need to know little things like that. Your bf sounds like one of them.
d0nnivain Posted March 2, 2020 Posted March 2, 2020 You felt telling him was the right thing to do. Transparency is generally a good thing. I think you had a relatively healthy discussion. His initial reaction may have been a way to save face / stroke his own ego but you both established that neither of you took any bait being dangled in front of you. Now move on. Nothing good will come from dwelling on this
Saracena Posted March 2, 2020 Posted March 2, 2020 No, I don't think it was necessary to tell him at all and in fact, if told this I'd be wondering why. 1 1
smackie9 Posted March 2, 2020 Posted March 2, 2020 No he didn't need to be told because it's hurtful. If it was his close friend or a relative that asked you out/hit on you, then ya you would make it his business.
Backinthesaddleagain Posted March 2, 2020 Posted March 2, 2020 Why on earth would you tell him this??? To plant a seed that will grow into jealousy and insecurity? This is just game playing and nonsense. Be honest, but don't be ridiculous. He doesn't need to know about every man that hits on you, it is a huge turn off for a man.
Miss Spider Posted March 2, 2020 Posted March 2, 2020 Lol, never tell your bf about the guys who hit on you. Nothing good can come from that.
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