Vitaminka Posted March 15, 2020 Posted March 15, 2020 19 hours ago, mortensorchid said: Ah I see, shame on me. I am making a point to answer any and all questions related when I had skipped them before in other threads. We talked about our basic information (are you from here originally, what do you do jobwise, what do you do for fun, do you have a lot of friends, etc.) which I think most people would talk about. We ordered food (nothing like that one idiot from the recent past who said "I ate already", so I got a glass of water, drank it down and it was over within 20 minutes) and ate. He paid. We had a good time, we talked about some mutual silly experiences in internet dating and what we experienced with Tinder and Bumble. I said I'll not do Bumble again, most guys I connect with there ask me to choke them or beat them, he said "I can't imagine what it must be like to be a woman on the internet, especially an attractive one like you". It was a happy evening. Which is why I was so sad to have the ending the way we did. I took the advice of another on this thread saying that it was now my turn to contact him. So I said I was hoping he wasn't too bored because of the quarantine this afternoon (Saturday), and haven't heard since. Moving on. mortensorchid, this sounds like a job interview type of date. Very dry, nothing to get exited about. Why don't you try something different on a date next time? Suggest to a guy that you love to go bowling or mini-golfing or do some sort of activity. You don't have to be good at any of these, heck, I suck badly at this. Why don't you ask a guy to teach you? Or you can "suck" together and laugh about it. Either way, it is a lot of fun. It totally takes a pressure off and lets a guy see you in a total POSITIVE way. Perhaps go for a coffee afterwards and laugh about your misadventures at mini-golfing. The keyword is having fun here. The guy still may not be your match but at least the date will not suck entirely. Also, what kind of people are you expected to meet on Tinder or Bumple? My understanding is that the majority of people on these sites are looking for sex or FWB. Not saying that a relationship cannot happen if you meet someone from these sites but probably not many relationship minded people use them to begin with. So you dating pool is already low if you decide to dive in there.
Author mortensorchid Posted March 30, 2020 Author Posted March 30, 2020 Never heard from him again. Moving on again.
Malin889 Posted March 30, 2020 Posted March 30, 2020 How is Tinder anyway? Is it still just a hook up site or are people actually looking for relationships?
rjc149 Posted March 31, 2020 Posted March 31, 2020 I think it's primarily for hooking up (I've never actually used it) but I know several couples, including a married couple that just had a daughter a month ago, who met on Tinder. It's branded and marketed toward 20-somethings, if that provides any insight into its purpose.
Author mortensorchid Posted March 31, 2020 Author Posted March 31, 2020 I think it started off that way as a hookup site. It is, after all, the alternative to Grindr as it uses the same messaging systems / technology. And if you don't know what that is, Google it but don't say I didn't warn you. I know of 2 guys who meets their current bfs on it. Don't know or any women who did. I did meet 2 guys through it and we're friends but nothing else.
basil67 Posted March 31, 2020 Posted March 31, 2020 After a brief bit of time on Tinder in the last few months, 20yo daughter assures me that there is nobody of any quality there and most are looking for hookups. It's backpackers, pretty boys and guys who wear their caps backwards.
greymatter Posted April 1, 2020 Posted April 1, 2020 (edited) 21 hours ago, basil67 said: After a brief bit of time on Tinder in the last few months, 20yo daughter assures me that there is nobody of any quality there and most are looking for hookups. It's backpackers, pretty boys and guys who wear their caps backwards. When I was on it in 2015 and again in 2017, that was not the case. It totally depends on the area one lives in. I live in a major metropolitan area and there were a lot of options (in terms of the types of people on there). I had a year-long relationship with a well educated, tall, good looking guy who I met on tinder. However, I much preferred OKCupid and that is the app where I met my partner of over 2 years. Edited April 1, 2020 by greymatter added a few words 1 1
basil67 Posted April 1, 2020 Posted April 1, 2020 1 hour ago, greymatter said: When I was on it in 2015 and again in 2017, that was not the case. It totally depends on the area one lives in. I live in a major metropolitan area and there were a lot of options (in terms of the types of people on there). I had a year-long relationship with a well educated, tall, good looking guy who I met on tinder. However, I much preferred OKCupid and that is the app where I met my partner of over 2 years. We are urban living, capital city. Age of the user could also factor in on what one finds. 1
greymatter Posted April 1, 2020 Posted April 1, 2020 14 hours ago, basil67 said: We are urban living, capital city. Age of the user could also factor in on what one finds. Very true! 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 4, 2020 Posted April 4, 2020 I met someone from Tinder few years back and we were together for close to 2 years. So it's possible to find a relationship. I prefer Bumble because it's less sleazy but Tinder has much greater numbers.
Author mortensorchid Posted April 4, 2020 Author Posted April 4, 2020 48 minutes ago, Eternal Sunshine said: I met someone from Tinder few years back and we were together for close to 2 years. So it's possible to find a relationship. I prefer Bumble because it's less sleazy but Tinder has much greater numbers. I have encountered much more sleaze on Bumble myself. After the last disaster last summer I said never again with it and stood by that decision. Depends on your region I suppose.
Miss Spider Posted April 8, 2020 Posted April 8, 2020 On 4/3/2020 at 11:55 PM, mortensorchid said: I have encountered much more sleaze on Bumble myself. After the last disaster last summer I said never again with it and stood by that decision. Depends on your region I suppose. I remember you calling guys on bundles beta or something. It was amusingxD Anyway, I’ve never used that particular app other than experimenting with bumble bff( to make female friends), but I don’t think your experience is unusual. The guys literally just make a profile and wait for women who are bold enough/forward enough/interested enough to break convention and message them. I can see how many might assume they’d be an easier lay. Assume is the key word here!
Lisa_Lisa Posted April 11, 2020 Posted April 11, 2020 On 4/8/2020 at 3:12 PM, Cookiesandough said: I remember you calling guys on bundles beta or something. It was amusingxD Anyway, I’ve never used that particular app other than experimenting with bumble bff( to make female friends), but I don’t think your experience is unusual. The guys literally just make a profile and wait for women who are bold enough/forward enough/interested enough to break convention and message them. I can see how many might assume they’d be an easier lay. Assume is the key word here! Bumble is strictly set up for women to write a man first. Men are not allowed to message, they are only allowed to reply. A woman created Bumble for women to choose men of their own liking so they don't have to deal with an abundance of sleazy messages. A man will respond back if he's interested.
Miss Spider Posted April 11, 2020 Posted April 11, 2020 (edited) 7 minutes ago, bittersweet79 said: Bumble is strictly set up for women to write a man first. Men are not allowed to message, they are only allowed to reply. A woman created Bumble for women to choose men of their own liking so they don't have to deal with an abundance of sleazy messages. A man will respond back if he's interested. Ohh I didn’t know a woman started bumble ... interesting. I understand the concept, I just can see A dude throwing up a profile just for giggles to see which women are interested enough in me to match and message. It just seems easier and low risk, no need to message first, so even if I’m not that interested in the lady, seems more of a sure bet so I’d go with it for a lay or something... , I’m just I can see the logic in it Edited April 11, 2020 by Cookiesandough
Lisa_Lisa Posted April 11, 2020 Posted April 11, 2020 4 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Ohh I didn’t know a woman started bumble ... interesting. I understand the concept, I just can see A dude throwing up a profile just for giggles to see which women are interested enough in me to match and message. It just seems easier and low risk, no need to message first, so even if I’m not that interested in the lady, seems more of a sure bet so I’d go with it for a lay or something... , I’m just I can see the logic in it Well, at the end of the day, a man is always going to go for easy sex, but we'll always be the gate keepers so we get to choose who is worthy enough to be in our company. 1 1
poppyfields Posted April 11, 2020 Posted April 11, 2020 (edited) 12 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: Ohh I didn’t know a woman started bumble ... interesting. I understand the concept, I just can see A dude throwing up a profile just for giggles to see which women are interested enough in me to match and message. It just seems easier and low risk, no need to message first, so even if I’m not that interested in the lady, seems more of a sure bet so I’d go with it for a lay or something... , I’m just I can see the logic in it Fair point, but women (some not all of course) do the same thing too on the more traditional sites like match.com and others where men typically make first move. Not for sex (or maybe for sex), but for free dinners, a gift or two, and other perks. Or they create an intriguing profile for kicks and giggles (or an ego boost), to see how many responses they get and brag to all their friends about it. I know a few women who do this! It's all a risk no matter how you look at it. Personally I never liked Bumble for the simple reason I prefer men to be the pursuer, at least early on, and if I'm forced to make initial contact, a man might get the mistaken impression that I prefer to chase, which I don't! If there are women here who have used it, I'd be interested to know if that's how it played out? If the men you contacted expected you to chase? Edited April 11, 2020 by poppyfields
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