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How should I interpret this


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Posted (edited)

Hi. I'm a middle aged divorced man and have been in a relationship for nearly a year. We love each other but something happened a while ago and I don't know if it's a big deal or not. She was on her phone and I saw a text she was looking at from an ex (a guy she dated a couple of times a  while ago). They are friends (which isn't a problem for me) but every now and then he'll send a NSFW text to her that is a silly, dirty gif or something like that. What I saw was something that said 'found your thermos' and when it opened a sex toy fell out. She responded with a few laughing emojis and that was it. As far as I know there's no deep conversations or anything like that going on. He sends these every now and then - she said. It doesn't really bother me, I guess. What bothers me is that I would never do that to her. If a female friend/ ex send me something like this, I would say knock it off. Should I be concerned that she keeps responding to these? It seems pretty harmless but maybe I'm an idiot.

Edited by justwanttorun2020
Posted

Sounds like she likes the attention.  Tell her you're not comfortable with her getting those types of texts from another man (I'm sure she wouldn't like it if it was you receiving a text from an ex).  If she doesn't voluntarily put an end to them, knowing how you feel, it's more than just a thoughtless ego boost for her.  

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Posted

I am pretty liberal and even I would not endure my boyfriend getting these GIF from an ex-gf. Actually I would not endure text exchange with an ex, period. At the exception of his children's mother for obvious reasons. 

I think it's very tacky for a woman middle-age to be entertaining some guy she dated before you. When I met my boyfriend I deleted ALL the joe-blows I dated before. I did it so he would never feel disrespected. 

Tell her you never thought you'd have to ask this to a woman his age but could she drop the orbitors with no life. 

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, justwanttorun2020 said:

Hi. I'm a middle aged divorced man and have been in a relationship for nearly a year. We love each other but something happened a while ago and I don't know if it's a big deal or not. She was on her phone and I saw a text she was looking at from an ex (a guy she dated a couple of times a  while ago). They are friends (which isn't a problem for me) but every now and then he'll send a NSFW text to her that is a silly, dirty gif or something like that. What I saw was something that said 'found your thermos' and when it opened a sex toy fell out. She responded with a few laughing emojis and that was it. As far as I know there's no deep conversations or anything like that going on. He sends these every now and then - she said. It doesn't really bother me, I guess. What bothers me is that I would never do that to her. If a female friend/ ex send me something like this, I would say knock it off. Should I be concerned that she keeps responding to these? It seems pretty harmless but maybe I'm an idiot.

Lol he is not her friend and he takes you for a fool to be sending your gf these types of messages. Evidently, she does too because she has not told him to quit. Disrespectful to say the least. 

Edited by Cookiesandough
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