HopelessNick Posted February 28, 2020 Posted February 28, 2020 (edited) I'm 24 and have zero social life. I'm a journalist at a newspaper. I do have friends but I hardly visit them. I am shy and don't talk much and when I do talk, I'm really soft and people need me to repeat what I say at least a couple of times. I do feel lonely, but I love sport. I literally spend all my weekends and spare time at home either watching sport/TV or playing on my laptop. That helps me deal with my loneliness. I don't have good hygiene (which no one notices) because I don't have the energy to look after myself well. The only girls I see are in the office. There's a new girl in the office for a couple of weeks now, which I like. I think she gave me small opportunities to work with, but I'm not a good conversation and remained silent. Maybe she flirted slightly with me on Wednesday and Thursday, but she gave me nothing on Friday. Do you think I'll be alone forever? Edited February 28, 2020 by HopelessNick update
basil67 Posted February 28, 2020 Posted February 28, 2020 OK, it's not looking good at present. But the good news is that you can make changes if you want. Your previous posts have referred to depression - you can get help for this. Talking too quietly to be heard is definitely an issue, but depending on the cause, it can be resolved with either a psychologist or speech therapist. You say that you love sport. Do you play sport? When you've done the work to find your voice (literally) can you join something local and meet people? I'm a swimmer. A very average swimmer, but nonetheless, I've found that swimming clubs are a great way to socialise....and I'm sure this is true for most sports.
manfrombelow2 Posted February 28, 2020 Posted February 28, 2020 (edited) You basically just answered your problems by yourself. Let me do a quick summary of your current problems: 1- You don't have many quality friends whom you can trust and spend time with. 2- You lack self-esteem and self-confidence, especially in socializing with other people (soft voice which makes people unable to hear what you say) 3- You think you "love" sport but you don't actually engage physically in sport, only watching it on TV or playing it on your laptop. 4- You admit you don't have "good hygiene" because you lack the energy to look after yourself. 5- The only women you see are the ones in your workplace. Again, this is due to the fact that you don't have many positive and healthy social relationships beside your workplace. 6- You are having a crush on a girl at your workplace. Now that I have summarized your 6 ongoing problems. About your question: Quote Do you think I'll be alone forever? YES. I am absolutely convinced that you will be alone forever, if you don't do something right now to change your mindset and your lifestyle. Please hang with me because I'll explain further in the next comment. Edited February 28, 2020 by thaygiaogiang
manfrombelow2 Posted February 28, 2020 Posted February 28, 2020 OK, so first thing first: Please, do not ever think about the girl whom you are having a crush on at your workplace, for these two obvious reasons: 1- Workplace romance is simply a bad idea, which will lead to nothing but devastating consequences for the engaged parties. Men who are centered and strong physcially and mentally do not look for romance at their workplaces. Period. 2- Right now, you need to solve your personal problems (which I mentioned in my previous comment) first, before thinking about building a romantic relationship with other people. So, what you need to do, is to go out and hit the nearest gym. You need to go there. Everyday. No excuses. I'm not talking about trying to look like prime Chris Hemsworth. I'm talking about going there and have a good time. Doing gym means taking care of your physical body. It's a good thing you are having a job, which means you are having an income (it's better than being jobless) to INVEST into YOURSELF. Next up, if you are relying on energy drinks on a daily basis, please ditch them and force yourself to drink pure water, and eat more fruits. Force yourself to go to bed and wake up at a fixed timetable. Go on Youtube to listen to experienced people like Corey Wayne. At the bottom of all this, YOU are the only one who can help you build a better life for yourself. 1
basil67 Posted February 28, 2020 Posted February 28, 2020 (edited) 14 minutes ago, thaygiaogiang said: So, what you need to do, is to go out and hit the nearest gym. You need to go there. Everyday. No excuses. I'm not talking about trying to look like prime Chris Hemsworth. I'm talking about going there and have a good time. Doing gym means taking care of your physical body. Of course, if you don't have to motivation to care for your personal hygiene, you won't have the motivation to hit the gym. Going to the gym is an excellent goal but first you need to address the barriers which stop you from living a functional life. If you can't brush your teeth on a regular basis, it would be beyond foolish to pay for a gym membership. Start with doctors and therapists. Then when you get a handle on the basics, up the ante with a gym. Edited February 28, 2020 by basil67
The Outlaw Posted February 28, 2020 Posted February 28, 2020 It isn't over if it never really started. If you want to improve your confidence and social skills, get out more. Hit the gym, place yourself in a social setting or make it a point to visit your friends more often to go hang out with them so you can step outside of your comfort zone. Do it whenever you can. When meeting new people, shake their hand. Tightly. Stand up straight. Maintain eye contact. Practice. There's really nothing to it. Once you ease into it, go for it. If she's moved on by then at least you'll be ready for the next one. Good luck.
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