rebelx0024 Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 So, here’s my situation. There’s this girl who I’ve been FB friends with for a year and several months now who I’m kinda infatuated with. The posts I’ve seen of hers have led me to believe that she’s a really interesting person, and I would love to have the chance to get to know her better. A little background: I met her in late ‘18 at a Halloween party, and was immediately attracted to her. We had a pleasant enough interaction, but we didn’t get deep into conversation or anything. She really spent most of the time talking with her best friend, who she’d come with. I friended her on FB a few weeks later; even though we had had only limited in-person communication, she accepted my friend request pretty quickly. I later saw her at a Super Bowl party in early ‘19, but we didn’t talk at all, even briefly. This was partly because I was too chicken to even say hi (I kinda clammed up when she arrived), but she didn’t say anything to me either, sticking close to the best friend and another friend of hers for most of the time. Given her behavior those two times, I get the sense that she’s a bit situationally shy and is not real good at readily conversing with people she doesn’t know well, especially at large gatherings. At least, I hope it’s just that and not that something about me turned her off. Anyway, I haven’t seen her in person since, and we hadn’t talked or interacted on FB this whole time. Until a couple weeks ago, that is. I saw she had started a little graphic design outfit, which she had invited all her friends to like. I did, and a few days later, I liked a post with some work she had done for an up-and-coming rock singer, and then commented and told her that I liked her designs and also the songs by the artist that I had listened to. I was hoping to get her to say a little something in response that might have even led to a discussion via messenger. Unfortunately, she just thanked me and that was it. I haven’t liked or commented on any posts or stories of hers since. I’m thinking she had probably forgotten about me between the SB party and now, and I guess at the very least, that little interaction reminded her that I exist, hahaha. But yeah, I’m trying to figure out whether it’s even worth pursuing anything with this girl. If so, I guess it’s going to be a matter of playing the long game: just liking and commenting on more of her posts and stories and kind of softening the ground for an eventual messenger conversation. And in case you were wondering, yes, her relationship status on FB is single. It has been the whole time I’ve been friends with her. What do you guys think? Am I barking up the wrong tree, or should I give it a shot? (To say I’ve never been real good at this is an understatement: I only had one girlfriend, back in high school, and am in my late 30’s now, if you can believe that.)
Gr8fuln2020 Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 Don't know anything else about you and why you've only had one gf in the last 15+ years, but it does you NO good to not ask. At least then you know to move on whatever the direction that may be.
Author rebelx0024 Posted February 28, 2020 Author Posted February 28, 2020 (edited) I just never developed dating and relationship skills because I never really made it a proper focus. I spent some of my 20s trying to improve my skills, albeit in a very haphazard manner. I went on a few dates, even got caught up in PUA culture for a little bit (to my great chagrin now), but nothing permanent eventuated. I lost my job around the time of the recession, and actually haven't had a regular full-time position since (I've been a substitute teacher for a number of years now), which was a great source of shame for me for a long time. I had essentially receded from regular social interactions for the past 10+ years, except with close friends. It is only recently that I've rediscovered my sense of self-worth and the potential I still have to end up with someone special. Not coincidentally, I am in the process of switching career paths as well. Needless to say, it's been a long, strange journey. Edited February 28, 2020 by rebelx0024
Author rebelx0024 Posted February 28, 2020 Author Posted February 28, 2020 I'm also wondering, when is the right time to send her a message on messenger? I'm worried that if I do it too soon, it won't feel "natural" to her, and I'll end up coming off weird and creepy. Any advice?
ccas93 Posted February 29, 2020 Posted February 29, 2020 (edited) I say leave it on the backburner for now. If you see her again in person, don't chicken out but ask her about her outfits, music, life, etc. Try to get to know her as an interesting person, and if she's receptive, move forward from there. I would avoid trying to get to know her through facebook at this point. In the meantime, keep an eye out for someone else who you find interesting and attractive. Edited February 29, 2020 by ccas93
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