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Getting to know someone


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Posted

Maybe I am wrong but I was under the impression that someone with a clean sheet would need to do something pretty bad to be sent straight to jail.
His parents sound like they are nice people, but parents can be very biased as far as their kids are concerned.
Be careful

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Posted

The above, if this guy was ex-police would imagine he is not small and trained in self defense...no reason he can't take a shove or even slap without reacting back, also would think there are a lot of witnesses to back his story.  

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Posted

Like I said, I don't know the full story.

I may learn what it is, I may not.

I just know from what his parents told me.

In Australia the murder rate of men killing women is high. Magistrates are coming down on guys who commit violence.

He's step dad did say he actually does have priors, but insisted they aren't anything major. Not sure what they are.

If we do talk and if I decide once he's out I will continue getting to know him, I will be careful. My radar is officially up.That is for sure!

Posted

You need a wake up call. 

Listen, his parents will always defend him and minimize his actions! You cannot trust their judgement. My ex-mother in law swore for 50 years that her son (my ex brother-in-law) was a good man with a good heart while he spent most of his life in jail for robbery, battery, rape, and name it. 

We are talking a grown man here, an ex cop, TRAINED to not push-hit back people. I wouldn't be surprised his temper got him out of the police force. 

Pushing a woman is unacceptable under any shape or form, I am sure his life wasn't in danger when she pushed him! He had no business pushing her back as he is physically stronger than her and he could hurt her.....and he did, he pushed her hard enough she broke a rib. I don't beleive his 'I pushed her' story. You don't break a rib by being pushed, you break a rib when someone punches you. 

The parents and him are giving you only the tip of the iceberg here. 

This man is showing you right now by his actions who he is. He drinks too much, gets violent when drunk, he has no scrupples pushing-hitting a woman. One day you'll be the one with a broken rib. 

 

 

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Posted
3 hours ago, Melrose78 said:

He's step dad did say he actually does have priors, but insisted they aren't anything major. Not sure what they are.

Sounds like the story is changing from his parents as originally believe you said they said he had no prior convictions.  Likely his priors show a pattern of behavior show may be why the judge gave him 3 months for a "shoving match."   Perhaps to hopefully wake him up before he does something major, even if by accident, like one day he shoves someone they fall back and crack their head. 

Posted
7 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

Likely his priors show a pattern of behavior show may be why the judge gave him 3 months for a "shoving match."  

Not only his priors, let's not forget he's an ex cop, which means he is trained to fight, control, and hurt in the right spots if there is a need to restrain people. His training is like a weapon he used against that woman. I cannot find the words to explain how unacceptable this is. 

Posted
4 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Not only his priors, let's not forget he's an ex cop, which means he is trained to fight, control, and hurt in the right spots if there is a need to restrain people. His training is like a weapon he used against that woman. I cannot find the words to explain how unacceptable this is. 

Agreed.  I believe police should be held to a higher standard as we entrust them with the ability to use state sanctioned force.   Maybe he is an ex-cop because he had anger control issues?

Posted

SumGuy: And we know the police profession is protected left and right with a strong union and it takes a lot for a cop to be dismissed from his profesison. This guy has bigger issues and OP can imagine. 

Posted
2 hours ago, Gaeta said:

SumGuy: And we know the police profession is protected left and right with a strong union and it takes a lot for a cop to be dismissed from his profesison. This guy has bigger issues and OP can imagine. 

It is that way in the US by and large in my experience.  Not sure about AU.

Posted
4 hours ago, SumGuy said:

Agreed.  I believe police should be held to a higher standard as we entrust them with the ability to use state sanctioned force.   Maybe he is an ex-cop because he had anger control issues?

They are held to a higher standard.  They have less rights than civilians do and way more rules.  

 

Remember that his conviction is a reflection of his ethics.  I don't know why you're still even interested.  Violent abusers don't get better.  This guy has already been trained in how to control himself -- and he's still abusing women.  He'll do the same to you. Don't think he won't.  Parents are ALWAYS in denial about their kids and believe all their bull**** stories that other people are lying about them.  

Posted

You barely know this guy! And you haven't been dating long enough to have invested much. I don't know why you would consider doing anything other than blocking him, and never going back. You don't need to know the whole story. You don't need closure on this. You just need to move on. 

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Posted
4 hours ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

You barely know this guy! And you haven't been dating long enough to have invested much. I don't know why you would consider doing anything other than blocking him, and never going back. You don't need to know the whole story. You don't need closure on this. You just need to move on. 

Because that's my choice. But thanks for the advice ☺️

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Posted
6 hours ago, preraph said:

They are held to a higher standard.  They have less rights than civilians do and way more rules.  

 

Remember that his conviction is a reflection of his ethics.  I don't know why you're still even interested.  Violent abusers don't get better.  This guy has already been trained in how to control himself -- and he's still abusing women.  He'll do the same to you. Don't think he won't.  Parents are ALWAYS in denial about their kids and believe all their bull**** stories that other people are lying about them.  

His parents still talk to his ex wife. And he gets along well with her. If he was a women basher I highly doubt that would be possible.

10 hours ago, Gaeta said:

SumGuy: And we know the police profession is protected left and right with a strong union and it takes a lot for a cop to be dismissed from his profesison. This guy has bigger issues and OP can imagine. 

He actually wasn't dismissed. I never said that. He left because he decided the job wasn't what he expected and didn't suit his family life anymore.

Posted

I can understand this. It’s just Melrose’ way of living and be in peace with herself. For others it may seem strange, but nothing happened to her. And it certainly doesn’t mean she disrespects herself, is naive or wastes her time.
 

Good that you know what’s up. 

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Posted

Anyone with more than one conviction is a problem really no matter what it's for. 

Posted

An ex cop in jail for a assaulting a woman ...sounds so skeevy 

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Posted

Put it this way. I'm not an idiot. I've got my alert up. I've been asking heaps of questions and if he does contact me, there will be a lot more asked.

Maybe everyone thinks I'm an idiot for waiting to get all the facts. That's your right. But that's how I am. 

I've seen people crucified before when not all facts were known. 

It doesn't hurt for me to listen. It only takes my 2 ears 😂

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