Author Melrose78 Posted March 1, 2020 Author Posted March 1, 2020 Just now, preraph said: I would be far more worried that he had some domestic abuse in his past. Anyway if he got into it with a cop, he doesn't have a brain in his head, especially since he knows about it since he used to be one if that's even true. You don't need some aggressive guy.Spend $25 and do a background check on him if you think you know his real name. Lol yeah I know his real name. Time will tell. He may be too embarrassed n not call anyway. He would realise I'm not happy.
Fletch Lives Posted March 1, 2020 Posted March 1, 2020 May I ask how long you have known this guy / how long have you been dating him?
Gr8fuln2020 Posted March 1, 2020 Posted March 1, 2020 6 minutes ago, Melrose78 said: I never said I'm going to continue dating him. I want to know what happened and why not be honest with me. I'm someone who bases my response on facts. I choose not to judge without knowing what happened. I respect that. For me, if someone I have never met, suddenly turns up with a drinking altercation, arrest, court, doesn't tell you, etc...it's way too much crap already! Again, all before I've even met the person! There are people out there that do not go out and get drunk, etc. At least, this guy does not have very good judgment.
Author Melrose78 Posted March 1, 2020 Author Posted March 1, 2020 1 minute ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: I respect that. For me, if someone I have never met, suddenly turns up with a drinking altercation, arrest, court, doesn't tell you, etc...it's way too much crap already! Again, all before I've even met the person! There are people out there that do not go out and get drunk, etc. At least, this guy does not have very good judgment. I've met him a few times lol. 4 minutes ago, Fletch Lives said: May I ask how long you have known this guy / how long have you been dating him? I'm getting to know him. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend. Not long at all. We've been on 5 dates.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted March 1, 2020 Posted March 1, 2020 (edited) 3 minutes ago, Melrose78 said: I've met him a few times lol. I'm getting to know him. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend. Not long at all. We've been on 5 dates. Oh shoot. I must have missed that in your posts. Anyway, you have a little more incentive then. But you need to be cautious. Does he have his own place? Job? Children? If you are invested in some way, I wouldn't be AS dismissive, but my previous posts and questions stand. Edited March 1, 2020 by Gr8fuln2020
Fletch Lives Posted March 1, 2020 Posted March 1, 2020 Okay so you've been on five dates. But how long has has it been? A month? 2 or three months?
Author Melrose78 Posted March 1, 2020 Author Posted March 1, 2020 Owns his own home, has 2 kids (I met them as a friend. Pretty awesome kids I must say) has a job (but don't like his chances of having it once out. He only started it 2 weeks ago) I don't know at this time what way I will go. Like I previously said, he may be too embarrassed to call. I have a feeling he will but only time will tell.
Author Melrose78 Posted March 1, 2020 Author Posted March 1, 2020 3 minutes ago, Fletch Lives said: Okay so you've been on five dates. But how long has has it been? A month? 2 or three months? Only 3 weeks. Very new.
Fletch Lives Posted March 1, 2020 Posted March 1, 2020 2 minutes ago, Melrose78 said: Only 3 weeks. Very new. - Okay, so you are not too heavily invested yet. I'd get out while the gettin' is good. He's not available to date anywho.....he's on vacation, er, in jail. 1
carhill Posted March 1, 2020 Posted March 1, 2020 Guys who aren't chatty are more attractive because one, that evokes an emotional response and two it's stereotypically hetero masculine. Masculine men aren't chatty. Strong, silent type communicate through actions. They keep their women wanting more but give them just enough. This guy, if you knew him and this was his style, normal. As it is, unknown. Could be distracted, dead, with his wife or girlfriend, busy with work, uninterested, you name it.
Author Melrose78 Posted March 1, 2020 Author Posted March 1, 2020 8 minutes ago, Fletch Lives said: - Okay, so you are not too heavily invested yet. I'd get out while the gettin' is good. He's not available to date anywho.....he's on vacation, er, in jail. I suspect I wasn't told because he feared just that. I would end it. Or he hoped for good behaviour bond, hence why the change of job, new car n meeting me. I'm not saying I will wait. But I want to know his story.
Author Melrose78 Posted March 1, 2020 Author Posted March 1, 2020 2 minutes ago, carhill said: Guys who aren't chatty are more attractive because one, that evokes an emotional response and two it's stereotypically hetero masculine. Masculine men aren't chatty. Strong, silent type communicate through actions. They keep their women wanting more but give them just enough. This guy, if you knew him and this was his style, normal. As it is, unknown. Could be distracted, dead, with his wife or girlfriend, busy with work, uninterested, you name it. Or in jail 1
carhill Posted March 1, 2020 Posted March 1, 2020 Yep, very true.... When reading your post, I was thinking of the three guys who went down in NSW on a brush fire retardant drop in January, how life changes in an instant, or the customer of mine who went missing, silent, while on a fishing trip a couple hours south of me and they found his body in his crashed truck off the side of the highway about five days after he was reported missing. Usually it's not so ominous, just not interested in response, but stuff does happen sometimes.
Blind-Sided Posted March 1, 2020 Posted March 1, 2020 just playing devil's advocate here....... OK... if his mom said he didn't have a record... maybe he's innocent? With all this "Me Too" crap... it's gone a little overboard on "Shoot first, ask questions later" to the men of the USA. And I know this because I was almost in the middle of it. Well... I was in the middle, I just didn't go to jail because of luck. My exW went to the local abuse center, and got a free lawyer, and tried to have the protection order put out on me. That would have given me a criminal record... would have labeled me as a domestic violence person... and would have had me thrown out of my house. My only saving grace in this is... I have a very close friend, and a college buddy who work at the local CYS and they know me, and my kids from the day they were born. I made a call when I found out the plan... and I'm guessing they got it stopped since they also work with the courts, and the abuse center. Anyway... @Melrose78 I would be ready to run... but if his kids are OK... at least listen to his story.
Author Melrose78 Posted March 1, 2020 Author Posted March 1, 2020 2 hours ago, Blind-Sided said: Anyway... @Melrose78 I would be ready to run... but if his kids are OK... at least listen to his story. I can't not listen I know me. If I were to just turn my back I would be going against who I am. It doesn't mean I will accept what he tells me. But I'm willing to atleast listen. I've done some stupid things in my life. Gotten drunk and not even remembered what I've done. Never physical violence, thankfully. But enough for me to know we all have the potential to react badly when Alcohol is involved. I spoke to a solicitor friend who funny enough was the one that said that. As much as she's like me and hates violence. We don't know the story. We don't know if he felt he needed to protect himself. Not all cops are good. If that's what happened ...
chillii Posted March 1, 2020 Posted March 1, 2020 l can see why he probably wouldn't mention it so early in , and thinking he'd get off anyway he probably would've told you later on. But seems he didn't l mean to put you in touch with his mum's a pretty big thing so early in. l could see why he hasn't called you yet too , hasn't been long and ahh , not like he's just on holiday in a nice hotel somewhere. lf you like him enough l'd just give it a bit of time to hear from him yet, see what he's got to say take it from there. Yeah we all eff up but eh an ex cop , anyone with half a brain would know don't go pushin those guys around anyway but him better than anyone buttt , who knows yet what it was all about and what really happened l guess.
Author Melrose78 Posted March 6, 2020 Author Posted March 6, 2020 Ok. I haven't heard from him yet. Spoke to his step dad, who answered his mum's phone when I called a couple of days again, then his mum who rang back. Apparently I assumed wrong. It was an argument between him n 2 young drunk girls. One apparently got up in his face. It became a pushing incident that resulted in her breaking a rib . Still don't know the full story but step dad n mum are insisting his sentencing was too servere n was based on magistrate wanting to make him a example (as an ex cop) of what not to do. Spoke to his step dad for quite awhile. Then his mum called me back (she had been in the shower) to tell me that he's not an aggressive person and please don't think badly of him because of what's happened. She made a point of saying lol his smitten by me. Total sweetheart parents. She next started asking me about my background. I had to laugh. Protective mum eat your heart out They have all my details now, so if he wants to call me he can register me at the corrections centre and they can do a background check on me. Such a weird situation to be in, I must say.
Miss Spider Posted March 6, 2020 Posted March 6, 2020 (edited) Wow this guy pushed down a woman? It’s been 5 dates!!! Why are you involving yourself in this mess Edited March 6, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
Author Melrose78 Posted March 6, 2020 Author Posted March 6, 2020 Well I still don't know all the facts. All I knows is the girl was drunk. She started pushing him. He had his kids there and sounds like she was mouthing off (watching Australian Grand final on tv) n he told her to stop. She got in his face n continued. Started pushing him. He pushed back. He didn't hit her. He pushed her. I probably would do the same if someone was in my face, swearing etc n started doing that. I'm not violent. But I wouldn't put up with it. Don't know the full, complete story, so until then I stay neutral
simpycurious Posted March 7, 2020 Posted March 7, 2020 There is not call for a man doing anything physical against a woman. It just isn't right
Author Melrose78 Posted March 7, 2020 Author Posted March 7, 2020 2 hours ago, simpycurious said: There is not call for a man doing anything physical against a woman. It just isn't right Anyone touching another isn't right. Drinking or not. She shouldn't have touched him and vice versa. But for all I know is he was cornered etc n she wouldn't move. I don't know. Until I know the facts, I don't have an opinion. I can only go by his parents, and they seem genuine and honest.
Blind-Sided Posted March 7, 2020 Posted March 7, 2020 (edited) 12 hours ago, simpycurious said: There is not call for a man doing anything physical against a woman. It just isn't right Oh...... that's WRONG !!!! And this is whats wrong with the "Me Too" movement at it's core. OK... no one should be abusive to anyone. period. And I'm not the kind of guy to be on the attack, and I generally let things slide, and just leave a bad situation... but if someone is attacking me... be that a man or woman... I WILL defend myself. OK, I'm not defending this guy at all, because I don't know the facts. But your statement is making a person guilty just because he was a man. What if this was a case of 2 women?????? And one was significantly bigger than the other. Will the big girl be arrested just because she is stronger, even if the smaller woman was the attacker??? Edited March 7, 2020 by Blind-Sided
smackie9 Posted March 7, 2020 Posted March 7, 2020 Girl it doesn't matter how the story is told...it's the fact that it involved violence. He's never been it trouble? most likely he's never been caught or formally charged before is what that means. I don't know of anyone that resorts to violence "all of a sudden". It's a choice of poor judgement. 1
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