Foxhall Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 Would you pursue a relationship with someone not because you were in love with them or attracted to their looks/personality, but more interested in their wealth or potential wealth, Im thinking in terms of certain joking or throwaway comments that appear from time to time " be careful with her- she will clean you or take your assets" and so on, Are there women on here (probably not!!) or out there, who would marry a man with the intention that they could then divorce him in a couple of years and take a slice of his money, or indeed take all his money first and then divorce him! or perhaps they do like the guy to a degree but have in the back of their minds- well if this does not work out, this guy has a few assets to his name, I could always get a share of that if the relationship does not work so the question being- for a woman in terms of choosing a man/potential husband- how big of a factor is the wealth of the guy or possible wealth (such as he stood to inherit property/land etc)? It could work the other way too of course, a guy marrying a girl for her money!
d0nnivain Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 Of course there are mercenary people in the world. Do you actually think Anna Nicole Smith married a 90 year old oil baron when she a 20 something stripper / Playboy model because she loved him? 7
schlumpy Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 Arranged marriages often happen for reasons of material gain not only for the prospective Bride/Groom but for their families as well. The barter system of marriage has been alive and well for centuries. 3
carhill Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 Love marriage is a relatively modern concept. Historically, marriage was about money, property and heirs. Power. Social status. History occurred the way it did for a reason, and for millennia. I note the strength of genetics in those who have more than they'll ever need or want but are still inured to the chase and guarding their pile, including how their spouse fits into that. For some, attractiveness is enhanced by the power of the wallet/purse; they're willing to live the life required to be in that game. Someone for everyone. At my age, I find it annoying when a woman is all about money, money this, money that, always talk-talk money. When you take that eternal dirt nap, plenty of time to reflect on it. Life is too short to preoccupied with that game IMO. So, no, I'd never marry someone to get their money, even if I was poor, which I am. I have everything in life I need. A money-grubbing woman isn't among 'everything'. Never was, even when not poor, which I was, actually did pretty well. Hated the game so opted out. Good luck! 2 1
Kitty Tantrum Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 Nah. I don't want a man's resources for myself - I want a man who will use his resources to take care of me and our family. My husband pays the bills, but he's poor. If I divorced him, I'd get nothing. And if there's going to be any sort of "payout" someday when he dies - it's ON ME to bust my butt right now, for years and years to come, to help him pay off his debts and become more financially successful in the future. My ex-husband admitted (eventually) to marrying me because he wanted my resources, and I wasn't even well-off. I come from a very poor family, but have the advantage of being exceedingly intelligent and capable. He just thought he could glom onto me and take advantage of my ABILITY - as soon as we were married he was basically cracking the whip trying to get me to finance our lives while he did nothing but sit at home and masturbate. You don't even need to be particularly wealthy to be taken advantage of by a narcissist. If you don't have liquid resources, they can still find all sorts of ways of extracting value and resources from you. Having been on that side of the equation, I can't imagine how ANYONE could do that to another person. 3
LivingWaterPlease Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 I'm all about intimacy and companionship so if those two things aren't present in a relationship I'm not interested. I've had many opportunities to marry for money, most recently bc of a relationship I had for the past two years. He's a nice looking guy, tall, intelligent and fun. I really like the guy, love him (but not in love with him), in fact, but we aren't on the same spiritual or emotional wavelength so it's a no go for me. I know plenty of women who've married for money, though, and some men, too.
RecentChange Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 Sure, there are Anna Nicole Smith's of the world. Women who marry men only because of their money, and have sights set on their death or divorce so they can be rid of the dude and have his money instead. I don't personally know anyone like this. I have never had a female friend confess to any sort of fantasy like this, nor know anyone who married someone they weren't in love with, but rather just wanted to legally entangle them for their money. Personally - this is very far from my constitution and how I was raised. My father told me "never expect a man to take care of you". I know it was said out of frustration and exasperation. You see my mother was never independent, but rather always dependant on a man to take care of her financially. Her 5 marriages and divorces were evident of that (he was #3). I have always been able to pay my own way, and for the last 10 years or so I have been the breadwinner by a large margin. I couldn't imagine shacking up with a guy just for his money. Seems like it would be soul crushing, and doing something like that - I wouldn't be able to respect nor love myself. I couldn't imagine living a happy life - knowing I married someone with the plan to con them. But I guess con men and con women come in various forms. Any woman who sets out to do this is just that. A con artist. 2
elaine567 Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 Many woman will not "marry for money" as such, but many women will filter out men without money or with no potential, right from the very start. 3
Miss Spider Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 Nope, my dignity is worth more than that. Plus I can get my own money. 4
HappySenior Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 8 hours ago, Foxhall said: Would you pursue a relationship with someone not because you were in love with them or attracted to their looks/personality, but more interested in their wealth or potential wealth, Im thinking in terms of certain joking or throwaway comments that appear from time to time " be careful with her- she will clean you or take your assets" and so on, Are there women on here (probably not!!) or out there, who would marry a man with the intention that they could then divorce him in a couple of years and take a slice of his money, or indeed take all his money first and then divorce him! or perhaps they do like the guy to a degree but have in the back of their minds- well if this does not work out, this guy has a few assets to his name, I could always get a share of that if the relationship does not work so the question being- for a woman in terms of choosing a man/potential husband- how big of a factor is the wealth of the guy or possible wealth (such as he stood to inherit property/land etc)? It could work the other way too of course, a guy marrying a girl for her money! My ex was rich but HE was the gold digger. I had a nest egg and he had probably a million in assets. I had a small nest egg. After marriage he refused to buy anything other than food and shelter (which he would have been getting anyway), for me he only paid for insurance - as little as he could get away with. Very low cost "Christian" health sharing plan and automobile insurance. Meanwhile, I had to get my own dental insurance and pay dental bills, anything for the household (organizers and better cleaning supplies), buying him nice gifts (bbq grill, clothes) . I saw my nest egg depleting as the relationship was crumbling. So I halved the nest egg by pulling out money to buy a house for cash and I live on the other half until I either make social security or go live with my daughter. (Not sure which will happen first at this point.) But had I stayed with him another year or two, I'd have had no place to live independently. I am happier alone than with him, but wish I could have skipped all that. There were red flags I excused - I'd had a decently good marriage previously and didn't expect the reality of marriage with him. HE was the gold-digger: not in terms of wanting my money, but in wanting to have someone who had their own so he didn't have to spend his. If I had not had the nest egg, looking back I am sure he would not have wanted to marry at all. It was not a partnership, regardless of the fact that he was constantly asking me for help. But every decision of his was predicated on money: how much he could make, how little he could spend. Never again.
mark clemson Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 9 hours ago, Foxhall said: Are there women on here (probably not!!) or out there, who would marry a man with the intention that they could then divorce him in a couple of years and take a slice of his money... Ask Sir Paul McCartney... 1
chillii Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 (edited) l'd have no qualms about a woman with money at all though myself , it's the days of equality after all and if someone's gonna bang on to me about equality the first thing l'm gonna say is well, equality means equality, through and through , there's no pick and choose about where you want your so called equality or it isn't equality anyway. Edited February 28, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language
chillii Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 (edited) PS , l wasn't referring to the divorcing or just to get at their money part though , wouldn't do something like that and the last thing l want is another divorce . Edited February 27, 2020 by chillii
stillafool Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 First of all it isn't as easy as it used to be to marry for money. Nowadays, men and women with money (even and especially older people) are looking for partners with the same. Even movie stars are marrying people with their own money. Al Pacino's young gf just broke up with him stating she thought she could get past his age because he's a legend; yet couldn't resist saying he was also cheap because the only thing he ever bought for her was flowers. I'm sure what she considered cheap is the reason she broke up. I imagine she was expecting a new car and shopping sprees and I'm sure Al knew this.
thefooloftheyear Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 Things could certainly be changing now, but knowing the settlements women have gotten in divorces from guys I know, and even deaths of their husbands enriched them FAR more than they ever could have done by themselves...Whether that was by design I cant say, but as another poster stated, most women want to know what you have, what you can provide, etc...If it didn't matter, they probably wouldn't ask... TFY 2
simpycurious Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 This is common place where I live (women dating/marrying due to very large bank accounts). I have only seen two cases where the men were dating and eventually married a woman due to her family's wealth. The vast majority of cases are very attractive/fit/stylish women seeking relationships because of the wealth these guys possess (or will inherit). I wonder how many of these "type" relationships are truly happy or at least content in the end.
RecentChange Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 30 minutes ago, simpycurious said: he vast majority of cases are veryattractive/fit/stylish women seeking relationships because of the wealth these guys possess (or will inherit). I wonder how many of these "type" relationships are truly happy or at least content in the end. And how many wealthy men seek young beautiful women to be their brides, only to trade them in 10-15 years later for the newest hottest model? From the outside looking in, it all seems shallow to me and I don't know how it brings true happiness, but plenty of rich men and attractive women seem to sign up for it. Look at the marriage in the white House. Do we really believe these two were brought together because they were soul mates? Or did wealth and youthful beauty have something to do with it? 3
Springsummer Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 Two, sometimes three senior males in the work place I used to have lunch had been constantly teasing/convincing me to find and marry a rich man It just show how people are desperate for more money. I am like do I even have what it takes to be a gold digger? It has never across my mind to marry a rich man for money. (except if the guy is also dark, tall and handsome). to put it concisely, it's just not in my constitution. When I was young back in University, a Singapore guy whose family seems very rich who really was the most sincere and did the most to try to get me. but I wasn't attracted to him, so I don't even care to find out exactly how rich his family was. I simply didn't care about money when I am not attracted to the person. I still regret I acted like a jerk with him. if I knew what I know now. I guess my life would be different. I guess I am too shallow and idealistic/simplistic.
Springsummer Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 (edited) please delete this Edited February 27, 2020 by Springsummer
snowboy91 Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 4 hours ago, Kitty Tantrum said: Nah. I don't want a man's resources for myself - I want a man who will use his resources to take care of me and our family. I think this is the far more common sentiment - it's not about marrying to eventually take their money. It's about marrying to have that money available for a certain lifestyle, or being taken care of, etc. Out of everyone I know, I've only met a couple of people for which wealth factors into their choice of relationships. They already came from wealthy families - so I think there's very strong lifestyle and social factors that go into that. That being said, I also know people from wealthy families who would never choose a relationship based on money. I mean, if I was a very wealthy man who had a mansion and was able to have tropical holidays twice a year, dine at high end restaurants regularly, etc., I'd want someone who could keep up with that lifestyle. But I'm not and never will be, nor will most of my social circle so being "taken to the cleaners" isn't really a fear any of us have. 1
major_merrick Posted February 28, 2020 Posted February 28, 2020 There are people like that, but I'm not one of them. I won't have sex with someone unless I think they're hot. And I don't need someone else's money. I mean, yeah my life got better when I married my husband....it costs less to join forces. But I already had my own debt-free house and cars and stuff like that. I didn't need his money in order to live the life I wanted. If I'd had the choice to marry a 90 year old billionaire for the money vs. marry and have the family I have now? I'd pick my family. That is, if I couldn't find a way to just get into the billionaire's house and steal everything before the wedding night I prefer a "have my cake and eat it too" situation when I can get it.
simpycurious Posted February 28, 2020 Posted February 28, 2020 What I referenced in my area would be like mostly 30 something males with 20 and 30 something females but money is the ultimate reason they are together. 1
mark clemson Posted February 28, 2020 Posted February 28, 2020 18 minutes ago, major_merrick said: If I'd had the choice to marry a 90 year old billionaire for the money vs. marry and have the family I have now? Billionaire? Hmm...
Ellener Posted February 28, 2020 Posted February 28, 2020 No. I can earn my own money. I divorced my ex when he was making a fortune ( we had nothing starting out! ) but I only took a small 'alimony' income with me, enough to re-start my career, then he gave me half the proceeds of the house later when he sold it. I don't remember either of us being mean or unreasonable about money, well we had made vows to take care of each other and we both had intended to keep them even after divorce. That did all change when the next wife came along! But I couldn't stay married just to be wealthy and I care less and less about material possessions as I get older. They give the illusions of comfort or happiness or permanence, but those things come from the human spirit. A friend of mine remarried after years of being single, she wasn't wealthy but was solvent, and expressed concern that he ( thus she after marriage ) would be taking on his debts. But I think the marriage worked out ok. Another friend was about to divorce her ( cheating ) husband when he developed a bad brain tumour, despite every available treatment he was dead within the year and she inherited his life insurance and fortune, but she totally deserved it- she nursed him through that final difficult year. His family tried to get some of the money but they had no legal ( or moral ) grounds. Preoccupation with money doesn't usually bring out the best in people!
simpycurious Posted February 28, 2020 Posted February 28, 2020 8 minutes ago, Ellener said: Preoccupation with money doesn't usually bring out the best in people! I would venture to say that it brings out the worst more often than not. 1
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