SumGuy Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 5 hours ago, guy45 said: Well maybe I worded it wrong, I have seen her before without glasses and it didn't really bother me. The real problem stems from this : we like to take a lot of pictures together and some of the pictures don't turn out very appealing to me, just a few, most I'd say are pretty good. Then for some reason I become obsessed with these "bad" photos and it causes me great anxiety. It makes me think "well the attraction is gone, I guess its only a matter of time before I won't like her anymore". I had this happen in my last relationship too, I found one bad photo and became stuck on it...for months. I'm still trying to understand what going on here. How could I even sustain a relationship with someone then as we get older? I fear you can’t sustain a healthy relationship without therapy. This seems really odd to me that a photo, a mere image, has such power over you, more so than the person. Are you dating a person or an image? You are right to wonder that if glasses or a bad photo kills it for you what about old age. Do you have the same reaction to yourself when your image is less than perfect? I would say be honest in your relationships about the importance of image to you. Few want to be judged in a relationship by being only as good as their last bad photo, if they happen to wear glasses or even put on the wrong shirt. 2
BrennaR Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 8 hours ago, guy45 said: I'm not really sure what to do in my case. I met someone I like, for a while it was going great, but lately I've started noticing more and more of their flaws, physical to be specific. This sort of turned me off and it made me like them less. At the same time I'm also very aware of their good side and the many things they have to offer. So right now I'm stuck with this dilemma of whether to continue dating them or not. This has been a recurring theme in almost every relationship I've had and it's really frustrating. It's making me pretty depressed that I can't maintain a stable relationship. What should I do? This could be a distancing technique for you. You may have some avoidant traits. It's good to explore it in therapy. Obviously you are aware of the issue, so it's a great start. 2
Interstellar Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 (edited) What if she looks like Minka Kelly, Gal Gadot, or Katheryn Winnick would you still notice her flaws physical or otherwise? Edited February 27, 2020 by Interstellar 1
chillii Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 Who looks good in photos all the time , never known anyone to in real life not even the best looking people unless they're models or movie stars and even they often don't in everyday snaps . How old are you btw ? At any rate , your obviously getting involved in fairly shallow relationships emotionally. They sound more like looks and a basic getting along and like , but lacking any real love
Author guy45 Posted February 27, 2020 Author Posted February 27, 2020 10 hours ago, chillii said: Who looks good in photos all the time , never known anyone to in real life not even the best looking people unless they're models or movie stars and even they often don't in everyday snaps . How old are you btw ? At any rate , your obviously getting involved in fairly shallow relationships emotionally. They sound more like looks and a basic getting along and like , but lacking any real love I’m in my late twenties. We’ve only been dating for about a month so far. Most of the people I’ve dated have always had some imperfection about them but at the same time also something I found really attractive. So a combination of these two usually leads me to be stressed out and undecided about the person. There are a few people I’ve met that have been exceptionally attractive but I do realize I’m nowhere near such rank so expecting such would probably be unrealistic. Perhaps I’ve got too much time on my hands as well to be thinking about such things lol
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