fred123 Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 I knew / met a girl 2 years in america. Im from the UK. We connected whilst on holiday but nothing happened as she had a long distance boyfriend. We stayed in touch and i met up with her a couple of times when i went bak to the states. We have not spoken for over a year as she got married and decided to stop talking to me. Well i sent a message in december and she replied. She is now divorced and trsvelling around the world. We have texted a bit and skyped twice the last 3 months. Iv been intiating mainly. She wants to come UK and see me and i will spend a week showing her around. She transferred her half of the money of the hotel costs to me last week. I have been planning the week etc she has not done any planning etc. We are sharing a bed btw Anyways 3 weeks ago we were texting and we talked about cuddling etc and watchin films in bed and she said she hopes im a good cuddler. Last week i confirmed the hotel booking and said they chucked in a romantic dinner also for free. She then said that sounds great. I asked her if she was into romanctic stuff etc and she said she was, only if shes into that person. She then proceeded to say that we will see if that is there over dinner or not and if its not we will take advantage if the dinner. She then added " of course i hope it is x" She is in s africa on a safari and i said enjoy ur trip. She has not messaged me for a week now and she has been on watsapp online a bit the last few days. Im finding it strange she hasnt even messaged me. I would like to get to know her and still be in constant contact before she comes. To me it feels shes not interested enough to even send one text in a week. Its like im not even on her mind. BUt im sure if i send a text or suggest a fone call she will reply. I dont like the fact she never iniatiates. I wont message until she messages first. Its been 6 days. I wonder if she has other guys shes messaging. Hmm
JTSW Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 Woah, definitely do NOT sleep in the same bed. That's weird. Why would you just jump straight into sleeping in the same bed? Was this your idea? She's definitely not interested romantically right now so i strongly recommend you get separate rooms. 2
elaine567 Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 These "travelling" people usually want to travel on a shoe string and a half price hotel sharing with a local sounds good. BUT instead of a convenient stop over you have turned it into a "romantic" break with a double bed... Now she has effectively ghosted you. 4
Author fred123 Posted February 26, 2020 Author Posted February 26, 2020 She was the one who mentioned that i hope im a good cuddler. I said i will cuddle and kiss u all night. She replied " ok perfect " wouldnt that convey some interest? 1
JTSW Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 Just now, fred123 said: She was the one who mentioned that i hope im a good cuddler. I said i will cuddle and kiss u all night. She replied " ok perfect " wouldnt that convey some interest? Did she also include the laughing emojis?
Author fred123 Posted February 26, 2020 Author Posted February 26, 2020 No it was meant to be a smiley emjoi. My apologies
JTSW Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 19 minutes ago, fred123 said: She was the one who mentioned that i hope im a good cuddler. Was it your idea to share a room and a bed?
Author fred123 Posted February 26, 2020 Author Posted February 26, 2020 I sent her hotel rooms and she said pick whatever. Sharin a room is implied since we talked about cuddling no?
JTSW Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 Just now, fred123 said: I sent her hotel rooms and she said pick whatever. Sharin a room is implied since we talked about cuddling no? No, not at all. She obviously doesn't know about you sharing a room and bed then. You should not have booked a double room without checking with her first. She is likely under the impression that she will have her own room. This cuddling talk just sounds like banter to me.
alphamale Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 you need to extricate yourself from this situation. try to date women that live near you.
Author fred123 Posted February 26, 2020 Author Posted February 26, 2020 Can u explain why i need to extradite my self?
alphamale Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 3 minutes ago, fred123 said: Can u explain why i need to extradite my self? because you don't have a lot of experience with women 1
preraph Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 I wouldn't expect someone to be texting me if they were touring Africa, honestly. Priorities. You aren't her boyfriend at this time. I think you better be sure she knows you only got a single bed. If she is one of "those travelers" always looking to go on the cheap, it may be okay with her, but also may not mean sex. 1
elaine567 Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 7 minutes ago, fred123 said: Can u explain why i need to extradite my self? Extricate... extradite - to send someone accused of a crime back to the country where the crime was committed for a trial 1
SumGuy Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 7 hours ago, fred123 said: .. She is in s africa on a safari and i said enjoy ur trip. She has not messaged me for a week now and she has been on watsapp online a bit the last few days. Im finding it strange she hasnt even messaged me. I would like to get to know her and still be in constant contact before she comes. To me it feels shes not interested enough to even send one text in a week. Its like im not even on her mind. BUt im sure if i send a text or suggest a fone call she will reply. I dont like the fact she never iniatiates. I wont message until she messages first. Its been 6 days. I wonder if she has other guys shes messaging. Hmm She's interested. Don't focus on the few signals she is not giving you, think of hte overwhelming signals she is giving you, same bed, cuddle, hopes it is romantic. Focusing on her texting is insecure. I'm not sure how much experience you have with communication in African but depending on where you are it can be very spotty and also potentially very expensive. I wouldn't put much stock in the watsapp showing she is on-line. Connectivity can be so bad you are only on for seconds, enough to pull up the app a bit but not enough to do anything. Once you go through about 20 minutes of being "connected" for 10 seconds then dropped, connected 10 seconds then dropped, you kind of give up. 1
JTSW Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 3 hours ago, fred123 said: No she chose the room. Ok...but you said this.... 6 hours ago, fred123 said: I sent her hotel rooms and she said pick whatever. What exactly do you want from this woman? There certainly couldnt be anything long term seeing as she lives in a different country and always travelling. 1
Author fred123 Posted February 26, 2020 Author Posted February 26, 2020 I like her. I want to get to know her better. She never intiates. Id like her to text once in a while. I feel like if i dont text her she would never message
JTSW Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 (edited) 26 minutes ago, fred123 said: I like her. I want to get to know her better. She never intiates. Id like her to text once in a while. I feel like if i dont text her she would never message There you have it. She isnt interested in the same way you are. Edited February 26, 2020 by JTSW 1
chillii Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 (edited) Of course she was interested , she knew about the room and said all those things , paid money , but yeah not in the same way you are , and who knows what's goin on in Africa , and like someone said who knows where she'd be there too. Maybe even with her Africa chat buddy. But yeah l agree with someone else saying it's just a casual someone/somewhere to stay with tour guide bit of fun when she gets to the uk traveling thing really. So she's not making any other efforts maybe just keeping the lines open when you do contact her . So don't go falling for her or expecting anything more whatever you do , think she'll just be off to the next place after you and the uk. Edited February 26, 2020 by chillii 1
alphamale Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 5 hours ago, SumGuy said: She's interested.
justwhoiam Posted February 27, 2020 Posted February 27, 2020 (edited) On 2/26/2020 at 11:07 AM, fred123 said: We connected whilst on holiday but nothing happened as she had a long distance boyfriend. We stayed in touch and i met up with her a couple of times when i went bak to the states. We have not spoken for over a year as she got married and decided to stop talking to me. Well i sent a message in december and she replied. She is now divorced and trsvelling around the world. Now, you like her, but do you understand she's a mess? Also, if I were to read between the lines, did the distance boyfriend even exist? Is it the guy she married? The next two times you met her, was she still engaged with that same guy? Or was she single? She cut you off her life and it was a bad idea to contact her. She didn't value you as a friend, or she wouldn't have cut you off. Or did she cut you off because you started being sort of pushy and coming onto her while she was married? That said, this girl sounds like trouble. Edited February 27, 2020 by justwhoiam 2
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