samantha0101 Posted February 25, 2020 Posted February 25, 2020 (edited) Hey everyone! I am currently a freshman college student going through some difficult relationship issues. It has become increasingly stressful on my life, to the point where it is all I can think about, and since I work twenty hours a week and take twenty-two credits, I do not really have the time for this lol!! Anyways, I began my relationship with my ex-boyfriend of about one year now during the summer before my junior year. It was a wonderful relationship, however I decided to end things after thinking I did not like him. During the breakup he threatened to end his life and such, however I helped him through it and we had time apart. We got back together after I realized how much I liked him. We dated for about six more months, and during this time I really fell in love with him, however he fell out of love and cheated on me. During the breakup he, again, threatened to kill himself, however I chose to forgive him and set a lot of boundaries in the relationship. We continued dating and had no troubles at all, however I then was leaving for college and our fights became frequent and the relationship seemed very toxic. So, I broke up with him. The breakup was terrible. He was very angry and did a lot of immature things. However, I did too. It is very important to me to say that the majority of the relationship we were happy. He called me beautiful, bought me sweet gifts, and listened to my many problems. I always wanted to be with him, and he was never, ever physical with me. He truly was my best friend, he just did not know how to handle breakups, and I truly did love him. He loved me too, and has told people, along with me, that time and time again. Anyways, I decided I needed to be done with him and I got into three other relationships, my past relationship was when I started to really realize how in love I still was with him. So, I broke up with my boyfriend (who was so good with me) because I could not understand these feelings. I have since reached out to him and basically said we need to learn to be friends and see where things go. We both apologized, because I was not very good during the relationship either, and agreed to see where things go. I do love him and believe he has changed. I know all of the things I have mentioned that occurred during the relationship are not okay, however do you think it is possible for him to change? My heart is drawn to him, and it always has been. We were very young during our relationship and now are both reaching our twenties. I know what to look for, and I can handle things, I was just wondering if it would be totally dumb to try things very slowly again? I am currently torn and my mind is a mess. Edited February 26, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
smackie9 Posted February 25, 2020 Posted February 25, 2020 One thing I learned is that all those issues that were there before haven't gone away. They will resurface once again, leaving you living with regret. Sorry but you are not going to get your prince charming. You need to stop living in the past and move on. Meet someone new. 2
alphamale Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 never return to an employer that you have left and never return to an ex that you have left
snowboy91 Posted February 26, 2020 Posted February 26, 2020 Your feelings have been all over the place, as have his. You're also very young. It seems like your decisions about him are very strongly based on feelings (most of your post is talking about whether you "liked" or "loved" him, and whether he bought you gifts etc), and not about compatibility. Cast your feelings aside for a moment and think about whether this guy, as he is now, is a good fit for your personality and your values (as you are now). No two people are the same, and it must follow that any differences will cause disagreements. What you need to work out is whether your disagreements are down to an inability to discuss differences (which improves with practice, determination and age), or down to fundamental incompatibilities (which there is no way around). My gut feeling here is that your relationship is off/on again because something with the two of you doesn't line up right. I don't know what most of your fights were about, but try to think about them objectively rather than with the "save the relationship at all costs" mentality.
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