adversity Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 I'm feeling pretty confused by this email my ex sent me. basically we met up on saturday (he told me we could only meet between 7 to 9 pm because he had to be in bed by 10 for an early golf game the next day), he wanted to go to a hotel, i said ok and we dragged on until about 11 pm. Then as we were getting a cab to go home, he looked at his watch and started freaking out on me, telling me it was all my fault and i put so much pressure on him and he couldn't handle seeing me right now and if i cared for him to let him go. he said he did care for me and he would come back in a couple of months time when everything was better (we broke up because he said he had personal issues to deal with and he couldn't handle a relationship right now). I don't really know what he means by 'come back'. He also said he knew I said i would wait for him and I wanted to get back together, but I just had to let him go now because he couldn't handle it. So after i tell him fine, i'll let go, he suddenly starts apologizing and hugging me and telling me i'm a great person and he's sorry he was venting everything on me etc. I ask him if he meant everything he said earlier, and he pauses and says, 'I do need some space.' I said okay, go, and he gets out of the cab (we'd been parked outside his house for 5 minutes because he kept talking). he texts me later to say sorry, that it was all his fault and he was sorry for losing his temper, he has personal issues etc. I just message back and say it's ok and to get a good rest. The next day I get an email from him that says: "I was thinking of giving you a call, but i figured I would do things your way and send you an email. It won't be very long, but i'll put down what i need to say. I'm sorry about the way I reacted last night at the end of the evening...it was my fault, I knew my limits and commitments and could have gone home or changed the plans at any time. I'm sorry, I was frusturated with my self and i took it out on you. Anyways, like i've been mentioning, I do need my own space to do what i need to do right now for a while. i will contact you when things are better, but that may be a couple of months down the road. I know you really care for me and want me to be happy and ok and the best way to make that happen for me is to reduce my commitments as much as possbile and clear up what i need to. I really am sorry about the way i was at the end of last night...it really was just an internal vent. you take care and i'll talk to you when i can." I really don't know what he is talking about. What does he mean, 'i will contact you when things are better?' I mean, if he really did like me and want to be with me, he would say so right? What do you think he's trying to say? i'm afraid i can't think straight anymore.
kscholze Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 I wish I could answer your question because It would help me too. This may help you understand. My ex did the same thing, said she couldnt handle a relationship but she loved me and asked me to wait, and then started seeing her ex again about a month after that. The only good that came from it was that I lost all respect for her, and now look at her as a liar and I can move on. I think people just get so confused they dont know how to explain it, or they just arent the person you are in love with. there is no right answer or perfect advice. Make yourself happy is all I know
Author adversity Posted October 7, 2005 Author Posted October 7, 2005 sigh... sounds like it's the ol' safety net thing then. nothing i can do about it huh? just wait and see. i just wish i knew how he could 'shelve' a person like that. it's pretty hard when you fall from the top of the priority list to the bottom, you know? it must've just destroyed you when she went back to her ex - i know it would destroy me. lucky for me that his ex went and slept around on him, so if he went back to her i would really feel that it was his loss not mine. doesn't mean it wouldn't hurt a bit though.
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