sothereiwas Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 2 minutes ago, stillafool said: Well at least you got to vent and you received an apology from him for your trouble. This should roll off your back at this point and nothing to be upset over. You two were not compatible and you dismissed him. Maybe it would save you time to tell future dates ahead of time what you expect from them before you meet. Yeah, a list of requirements would def thin the field and save a lot of people a lot of trouble. Link to post Share on other sites
Author miss2017 Posted February 26, 2020 Author Share Posted February 26, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, JTSW said: Why are so nasty about him though? You can't assume how he lives just because he has his daughter once every two weeks. I can tell you that a single father will work his ass off to provide and pay for his child (he's sounds like a decent dad at least). You just continue to call him names which is disgusting. You know nothing about his life so you have no right to assume. A decent father is not one who provides and pays for their child but one who shares the work required to take care of a child with the mom of the child. One that takes the kids to school, who picks them up, who cooks for them, reads for them, gives them a bath, gets them dressed, stays up all night because they are sick, etc, etc. Providing money is the easiest thing, so yes as a mom I know very well his type of only seeing the child once every 2 weeks. But this doesn’t matter I guess as his parenting skills are not the topic here. Edited February 26, 2020 by miss2017 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author miss2017 Posted February 26, 2020 Author Share Posted February 26, 2020 51 minutes ago, sothereiwas said: Yeah, a list of requirements would def thin the field and save a lot of people a lot of trouble. That’s the most ridiculous thing in the world telling a man how to be a man. lol 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author miss2017 Posted February 26, 2020 Author Share Posted February 26, 2020 55 minutes ago, stillafool said: Well at least you got to vent and you received an apology from him for your trouble. This should roll off your back at this point and nothing to be upset over. You two were not compatible and you dismissed him. Maybe it would save you time to tell future dates ahead of time what you expect from them before you meet. I need to tell someone who invited me for coffee that I expect him to get me the coffee? Not even gonna respond to this. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 Just now, miss2017 said: I need to tell someone who invited me for coffee that I expect him to get me the coffee? Not even gonna respond to this. Okay, it doesn't need a response. Just trying to help. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author miss2017 Posted February 26, 2020 Author Share Posted February 26, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, introverted1 said: 😂 Touche! Meh. It was a meet and greet for an OLD. Someone has to be the one to say "Do you want to meet?" That's not quite the same as an invitation. And, frankly, not every invite means payment. I often invite others to go to a movie or out for lunch or dinner or even - horrors! - coffee, and I don't believe that "Hey, do you want to see [insert movie name] Sunday" is the same as "I'd like to take you to [insert movies name] Sunday." If I had to pay for the other person/people every time I went somewhere, I'd rarely leave the house. His words were ‘I would like to invite you for a coffee’. So it wasn’t a meet and greet or a ‘let’s meet’. It was an invite to a date. Anyway I feel I am going round and around saying the same things. Thank you to everyone who responded, even the ones that do not agree with me because I like to hear other perspectives to see if I missed something or I’m being too harsh. Just realised I didn’t miss anything and wasn’t being harsh. I know what I want and it wasn’t him with his poor behaviour. I won’t respond anymore here. Edited February 26, 2020 by miss2017 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 7 minutes ago, miss2017 said: I know very well his type of only seeing the child once every 2 weeks. You know nothing about the circumstances of why he only see's his child once every 2 weeks. You are extremely judgemental of what you THINK single dads are like as fathers. You are totally wrong and quite out of order with your judgement. My husband was a single dad when i met him. Only had his son on weekends. But that was not by choice. As is the case with most single fathers. He would have loved to have been there every day to do all the things you listed, but he was not allowed. He has provided for his son and done everything he can for him. Single fathers dont make bad fathers. I can understand why you are single now. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 8 minutes ago, miss2017 said: Just realised I didn’t miss anything and wasn’t being harsh. Really lol You dont think all the nasty names and insults you dished out at him wasnt harsh? Wow! 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 Not to interrupt the circle j*rk of attacking the Op, but every time a guy has offered me a more elaborate date, particularly online but not limited to that, I switch it to coffee. I like it because it’s low key, low investment, usually a quick exit in the line of sight. If we actually like and are attracted to each other, things can get more advanced from there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sothereiwas Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 2 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Not to interrupt the circle j*rk of attacking the Op, but every time a guy has offered me a more elaborate date, particularly online but not limited to that, I switch it to coffee. I like it because it’s low key, low investment, usually a quick exit in the line of sight. If we actually like and are attracted to each other, things can get more advanced from there. Do you feel obligated to pay after switching the venue or does that concept/rule get sidestepped due to some procedural technicality? 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Not to interrupt the circle j*rk of attacking the Op, but every time a guy has offered me a more elaborate date, particularly online but not limited to that, I switch it to coffee. I like it because it’s low key, low investment, usually a quick exit in the line of sight. If we actually like and are attracted to each other, things can get more advanced from there. Yep. And I would prefer to pay for my own coffee/whatever, or even be the one to pay. So much simpler. The first meeting is about seeing if I want to go on a date; it's not a date. Once I'm dating, I prefer a back-and-forth where I pay this time, he pays next time, and so on. And, for clarity, since it was mentioned earlier in this thread, I am waaayyyy past age 35. Edited February 26, 2020 by introverted1 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 The OP is certainly NOT a "jerk" nor is anyone else involed in this thread. WE (collectively) do have a wide array of opinions about her "date." I would never NOT pay for someone's drink, dinner, etc and certainly do not think that by paying I am entitled/due anything in return. Further, I don't consider a meal, a movie or a ski trip with someone to be an "investment." Hopefully, a fun time but not an investment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 (edited) 5 minutes ago, sothereiwas said: Do you feel obligated to pay after switching the venue or does that concept/rule get sidestepped due to some procedural technicality? I don’t subscribe to the whole “whoever asks pays”, so no Edited February 26, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 7 minutes ago, introverted1 said: Yep. And I would prefer to pay for my own coffee/whatever, or even be the one to pay. So much simpler. The first meeting is about seeing if I want to go on a date; it's not a date. Same, I always insist on paring for my own drink. But just personally, I prefer a man who offers and probably would be turned off a little by a man who didn’t. Then again, I’m not the kind of woman to be offended by a man who stands on street side when we walk or b*tch about equality to a guy that opens the car door for me. Maybe that’s the kind of woman this guy who didn’t offer is looking for. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sothereiwas Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 14 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: I don’t subscribe to the whole “whoever asks pays”, so no Neither do I, I always paid because I'm the guy, period, but I've been told that's very very bad by some people. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 1 hour ago, sothereiwas said: Neither do I, I always paid because I'm the guy, period, but I've been told that's very very bad by some people. I am the same way So. Regardless of the scenario, I always pay and don't think twice about it. If it's construed as a poor character trait then so be it. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 Just now, simpycurious said: I am the same way So. Regardless of the scenario, I always pay and don't think twice about it. If it's construed as a poor character trait then so be it. What about if the woman says she would prefer to pay? Link to post Share on other sites
sothereiwas Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 5 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: What about if the woman says she would prefer to pay? I can't force her to take my money. It's never come up, I've had OFFERS to go dutch on dates but no one ever insisted. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 1 minute ago, sothereiwas said: I can't force her to take my money. It's never come up, I've had OFFERS to go dutch on dates but no one ever insisted. I always GET THE CHECK....easy Once more, paying does NOT equate to being OWED anything monetarily or otherwise 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
littleblackheart Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 1 hour ago, sothereiwas said: does that concept/rule get sidestepped due to some procedural technicality? Wild to me that people get so hung up on these types of things. What's wrong with going with the flow? In my real life outside of LS, I have not experienced 'who pays what when and why' to be such a headache. I am obviously not from this time. Genuinely baffling. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 2 minutes ago, littleblackheart said: Wild to me that people get so hung up on these types of things. What's wrong with going with the flow? In my real life outside of LS, I have not experienced 'who pays what when and why' to be such a headache. I am obviously not from this time. Genuinely baffling. Baffling is a good description or a "typical situation in these typical times." Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 Simpy no Link to post Share on other sites
littleblackheart Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 2 minutes ago, simpycurious said: Baffling is a good description or a "typical situation in these typical times." No idea what you mean, sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
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