ValGirl2020 Posted February 21, 2020 Posted February 21, 2020 Long story short, I have only seen this guy twice on 2 trips (he worked where I visited.) He comes to my town weekly (part of his work-my vacay) We are set to have a coffee date tomorrow @9am. I went on vacay last week and he was there again. Before my trip ended this Monday we said our goodbyes and take cares and said we'd meet Saturday 9am at this coffee shop. We flirted heavily on my vacation but since he works there he was very careful otherwise he'd be fired. We're deciding on 2 coffee shops still. I have him on social media which is our form of communication and haven't heard from him yet. Not bothered by it since this is something very casual....but my question is, is it ok to send mssg today or tonight confirming tomorrow am? Since he hasn't followed up yet? Before my vacay (4 weeks ago) he messaged me like 4 hours before he arrived saying he wanted to see me....I was at work and actually was bothered he'd think I'd drop my plans last minute. Hadn't talked to him since then until last week. This again was before my vacay which was a super flirty HOT thing we had going on the entire time. He works on port so doesn't have exact time but close to 9am for example. Is it ok to ask still on for tomorrow? Or etc? Again this is a very casual thing so don't want to seem needy or anything of that sort. How can I follow up with him if he hasn't reached out yet? And....when should I? Later tonight? I haven't had many casual set ups so close to 0 experience with this. TIA!
Fletch Lives Posted February 21, 2020 Posted February 21, 2020 I never heard of confirming dates until Doctor's offices started doing it. A date is confirmed when you make it. 1
d0nnivain Posted February 21, 2020 Posted February 21, 2020 I hate being stood up. I confirm all meetings -- business & personal. Heck I will even confirm my standing Friday night dinner date with my husband later today. I would absolutely reach out & send a text saying: "Please confirm that we are still on for coffee tomorrow at 9 a.m. You still need to pick the location." especially since you two never settled on the exact coffee shop, you have to confirm. Otherwise how will you know where to go? 1
Author ValGirl2020 Posted February 21, 2020 Author Posted February 21, 2020 Fletch Lives- Totally get what you're saying...but no location has been set. I guess i'm just kinda nervous of rejection. Although casual, i have the hots for this guy and have had for some time now. Thanks for input!
Author ValGirl2020 Posted February 21, 2020 Author Posted February 21, 2020 17 minutes ago, Fletch Lives said: I never heard of confirming dates until Doctor's offices started doing it. A date is confirmed when you make it. Sorry first time on this forum.... Fletch Lives- Totally get what you're saying...but no location has been set. I guess i'm just kinda nervous of rejection. Although casual, i have the hots for this guy and have had for some time now. Thanks for input!
Author ValGirl2020 Posted February 21, 2020 Author Posted February 21, 2020 7 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: I hate being stood up. I confirm all meetings -- business & personal. Heck I will even confirm my standing Friday night dinner date with my husband later today. I would absolutely reach out & send a text saying: "Please confirm that we are still on for coffee tomorrow at 9 a.m. You still need to pick the location." especially since you two never settled on the exact coffee shop, you have to confirm. Otherwise how will you know where to go? Exactly. Gonna suck it up and just message now. Why am I so nervous?! Haven't been in dating scene in 5 yrs....but he is just another man with a c... lol **Talking to myself**
Fletch Lives Posted February 21, 2020 Posted February 21, 2020 Okay, so if there's no location, you really don't have a date set yet.........a date requires a location, day and time......so yes, I would follow up / confirm as soon as possible. 1
preraph Posted February 21, 2020 Posted February 21, 2020 Wait until after 7 in case he writes before then give him a chance to get off work or whatever. If he still hasn't giving you a place yet by about 7, just text and say, 9 a.m. where? Don't go making excuses for asking or giving him excuses if he wants to back out. keep it short and sweet. 2
Author ValGirl2020 Posted February 21, 2020 Author Posted February 21, 2020 4 minutes ago, preraph said: Wait until after 7 in case he writes before then give him a chance to get off work or whatever. If he still hasn't giving you a place yet by about 7, just text and say, 9 a.m. where? Don't go making excuses for asking or giving him excuses if he wants to back out. keep it short and sweet. Sounds like a good plan to me. I was just about to message when I seen your comment. I'll wait a few hours. lol The last time he contacted me before my trip and asked me to meet him his plans fell through since the ship he's on was delayed. After that I wrote him next day and he was pretty short and cold so I never contacted again until this past week....I'm terrified of rejection. Has happened with the ones I'm usually into or have hots for and ugh it sucks.
preraph Posted February 21, 2020 Posted February 21, 2020 Well I wouldn't put up with it or third time. A second chance is one thing...
Author ValGirl2020 Posted February 21, 2020 Author Posted February 21, 2020 2 minutes ago, preraph said: Well I wouldn't put up with it or third time. A second chance is one thing... Yup I agree. If this falls through i'm done entertaining his ass....
SumGuy Posted February 21, 2020 Posted February 21, 2020 (edited) I tend to confirm by saying looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. which is odd when I think about as grew up making all sorts of social plans with never the ability to easily confirm Edited February 21, 2020 by SumGuy
preraph Posted February 21, 2020 Posted February 21, 2020 ^ Saying "looking forward to seeing you" is a good thing to say as it kind of pins them down. 1
Author ValGirl2020 Posted February 21, 2020 Author Posted February 21, 2020 29 minutes ago, preraph said: ^ Saying "looking forward to seeing you" is a good thing to say as it kind of pins them down. I sent message 30 min ago...just said F it and sent.."Looking forward to coffee mañana....still down?" and no response. He was online when I sent. Have a bad feeling but oh well what can we do. Still a bad Bi$tch.... lol i'll give him till tonight to respond but not sure how it will play out. Kinda felt it would go 50/50 with the way things were on vacay. Maybe he just loves his ego to be boosted. *eye roll*
preraph Posted February 21, 2020 Posted February 21, 2020 Well, don't lose sleep one way or the other. If he's not that interested or he's just inconsiderate, he's no big loss anyway! He may turn up yet. He may be having dinner with friends or something.
Author ValGirl2020 Posted February 21, 2020 Author Posted February 21, 2020 4 minutes ago, preraph said: Well, don't lose sleep one way or the other. If he's not that interested or he's just inconsiderate, he's no big loss anyway! He may turn up yet. He may be having dinner with friends or something. Thanks for the listening ear Preraph! Appreciate it.
preraph Posted February 21, 2020 Posted February 21, 2020 I hate being kept waiting. It sucks. But everyone is on their own routine, so it happens. I'll be right here working, so let us know what happens.
basil67 Posted February 22, 2020 Posted February 22, 2020 Who first suggested meeting at the coffee shop?
d0nnivain Posted February 22, 2020 Posted February 22, 2020 Aren't you glad you sent the message though? Better he should blow off the message then have you sitting in a coffee shop alone waiting for him. Lesser of 2 evils. Sorry it turned out this way.
Author ValGirl2020 Posted February 22, 2020 Author Posted February 22, 2020 19 hours ago, preraph said: I hate being kept waiting. It sucks. But everyone is on their own routine, so it happens. I'll be right here working, so let us know what happens. Soooooo he totally ghosted me. I should’ve known though...he’s a bartender so I’m sure I was Just another girl. But one thing for sure...these past few Months we Kept in touch I kept Thinking maybe it was me and it wasn’t just in mind. But when I was There he was all about me, very in the moment. That’s how it was for me too. Was just a fling but so frustrated it didn’t go all the way lol. That’s what I wanted but probably better this way. Not planning on deleting him though so he can continue to see how happy I am...he’s just another f’boy. Lol 1
Author ValGirl2020 Posted February 22, 2020 Author Posted February 22, 2020 11 hours ago, basil67 said: Who first suggested meeting at the coffee shop? He had since 4 weeks ago but it never happened. Then on vacay trip we seen each other and he suggested again. He probably found new eye candy since then...it happens. Just glad I was into him but not like falling more of a lust thing. Just wanted him if that makes sense. Seeing that he’s a jerk now I’m pretty over it.
preraph Posted February 22, 2020 Posted February 22, 2020 Well, now you know he's not worth worrying about anymore, right? No one needs someone inconsiderate and who doesn't keep promises they make. Just rude. He'll probably act like nothing happened. He probably does have enough women since he works as a bartender not to care who all he lets down. Sad.
Author ValGirl2020 Posted February 22, 2020 Author Posted February 22, 2020 1 minute ago, preraph said: Well, now you know he's not worth worrying about anymore, right? No one needs someone inconsiderate and who doesn't keep promises they make. Just rude. He'll probably act like nothing happened. He probably does have enough women since he works as a bartender not to care who all he lets down. Sad. Yeah I’m sure he will. Typical guy move but I’m good. Was pissed last night but woke up just laughing about it. I had fun while it lasted. On to the next journey .
preraph Posted February 22, 2020 Posted February 22, 2020 People can be so disappointing sometimes. You want to think the best of them, but they just fizzle.
Author ValGirl2020 Posted February 22, 2020 Author Posted February 22, 2020 3 minutes ago, preraph said: People can be so disappointing sometimes. You want to think the best of them, but they just fizzle. Yes and I cant Blame. I’ve done it too..it’s like the circle of life. We do it to the ones we’re like ehhh and it’s done to us by the ones we want. It happens. 1
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