Crux- Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 Long story short. A couple of years ago I got back togather with my high school sweet heart...Loved her very very much... The only problem is that she was going throught a mess divorce (AKA the guy she left me for), had 2 kids and no job...I thought she was worth it because I missed her and we where really good together and she just had a stoke of bad luck...a year into our new relationship I went off to complete my masters. When in my masters I was helping her deal with the mental abusive her Ex did to the kids..help her throught a needlessly exspensive trail the ex draged out and help her move into a new apt...bah....Abusive past issues... bah Family issues.... bah past relationship issues.. Short run she was a very troubled women.... Well for my reward, she betrayed my trust by cheating with her nieghbor..her boys best freinds dad... lieing to me for months while I traveled 5 hours every weekend to see her and her kids..and at the end went on our planned V.K. with her kids and new boyfriend 2 days after our "seperate ways talk".. I was very very upset..Lost my 8 year friendship with her, future wife and new step children..I think crushed was a good word...... Well thanks to this forum and lots of time crying:lmao: , laughing:D , contiplating my life and buying a guitar and a trip to Mexico with the encagement ring money.....I got my school marks back on track and finished my masters with more then flying colours... She tried to contact me a number of times but I told her our relationship and 8 year friendship was over....I actually stoped dating for a year to get my **** back together..so I could trust someone again.. Ok...Background done...hope you got the picture... Well when I was dealing with my ****..She moved in with the guy and bought a house right down the street from my parents....Why I do not know but they paid way to much... I moved home to get my barings..not working until Dec.. it's a really good job.. Unfortunately the neighborhood kind of sucks due to EX and Idiot with 2 kinds from 2 different mothers... Here's my problem.... I was on my run yesterday always to make sure I DO Not go by her house...then in the park I run into her son and the Idiot's kid playing. Her son ran up to me and gave me a big hug and then proceed to tell me he lived down the street...Really excited and happy....I hugged him said cool and kept running. Well about the time I finished my run he rode his bike to my parents house... I do love the kid but what am I to do???? I told him about the park were I met him and all the cool stuff I did in the park when I was a kid. I use to take him to this park all the time.... Thankfully he drove-off all excited. Little did I know he was back in 5 minutes with his New Brother or What Ever...they ask me to show them some of the cool stuff in the park... What was I to do ??? After the six time they asked me I said yes.... Bleeping Stupid of me...So the next thing I'm talking with the kids in front of my Ex's house. Thankfully she was there and not the Idiot...I did not want to see her...I really dislike her...I did not deserve her emotional bull**** and her lying, cheating and making me feel guilty by aqusing her of cheating with this guy when in fact she was. She told the kids that they had to go somewhere and could not go with me. Thank God. I told the kids were the place was in the park said bye to the kids and rode-off. She yelled bye to me but I kept on going not giving her any indication that I wanted to talk to her our anything.... Well I thought she would have talk to the little guy to tell him not to stop by but that’s not the case.... I got a visitor today…thankfully I anticipated that and made sure I wasn't home.. What am I going to do??? (a) Talk to her brother (close friend but this **** upsets him and puts him in the middle) (b) Write a quick ..Beep off and talk to your Frigging Kid e-mail...and have a nice life with your family of 4 kids with 3 mom's and 2 dads...That's only if I have the adderess. I pretty much burned or erased and of our relationship stuff... © Run a hide from a 6 year-old that would make me deal with her...Hoping he will quite... What ya guys think???? I haven't slept since this happened...like I said I loved the Kids...I can't help but think of the past when she would ask them if they would want me as their dad.....But again how can I be there for them when I strongly dislike their new Common Law Dad and Betraying Mom...
Scott S Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 EEK is right! You certainly have a bit of a mess. First of all, do not take it out on the children. They didn't do anything, they love you & you love them. Another thing, don't make disparaging commentary about her or the other man to them or in front of them. Try to act like a responsible adult role model. They look up to you, make sure you give them a good reason to. Talk about neat stuff in the park, baseball, NASCAR, or whatever. Don't talk about her. Keep away from her house. If they try to bring you into a situation where you'd be around her, a simple "No sweetie. I really don't think that's a good idea now" will suffice. Yes, I know it's a bit hard to swallow. On the other hand, if it's simply too much to handle, then your only alternative is NC with the children.
Author Crux- Posted October 7, 2005 Author Posted October 7, 2005 I ask her brother to talk to her and tell the little ones not to come around my house and ask for me... It's ok if I see them on my run or in the nieghborhood but coming over to my house is not a good idea. (Means contact with her) I would never and have never lost my temper or even yelled at her in front of them and no matter what I think of thier mother, they are innocent of her actions... I hope this works ...thanks for the advice Crux-
Zaira Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 Remember the children have no clue about what has gone on, and they're probably excited to see you again. Take it all in your stride, and don't let the woman get to you.
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