Leid Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 I'm fairly new to this forum but have been reading it a lot lately.. Every now and then, I see a tirade about the OW gets what's coming to her b/c she knowingly dated/saw a MM. Everyone's case is different and some OW are involved w/ MM whose Ws know they have someone on the side or are not romantically involved w/ the W at all. Yes, I know, until the divorce is final, they are technically MARRIED.. Still I ask this question: What is cheating? Is a SM who is living like a bachelor (i.e., not romantically involved with W) cheating on her? Is the MM whose W is aware of his OW cheating? What is cheating to you? [if this subj has been discussed before, sorry]
johan Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 Cheating: knowingly violating explicit or implicit promises. The promise may be a wedding vow or it may be just an understanding of exclusivity. The promise is good until the person you made the promise to releases you from it. So the separated man may not be cheating if his wife has turned him loose. A divorce is not required as far as I'm concerned.
lynnered Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 Cheating: knowingly violating explicit or implicit promises. The promise may be a wedding vow or it may be just an understanding of exclusivity. The promise is good until the person you made the promise to releases you from it. So the separated man may not be cheating if his wife has turned him loose. A divorce is not required as far as I'm concerned. thank U johan for a good start!! just wanted to add i agree +i feel if H or W leaves states im out ,done for good if spouse doesnt believe it ,wants to fix things & other party doesnt i dont feel its cheating if it was done in honesty i dont feel its cheating.
Topper Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 This isa pretty good question. I have heard a new term That comes into play here. It is "emotional cheating." As I understand it Emotional Cheating is sharing yourself emotionally outside of your marriage. Your wife or husband doesn't know and is kept in the dark about this emotional bond that is developing between two people. ion my opinion two people just getting it on to satisfy some animal urge would be a lot less deviation then knowing your wife or husband was sharing themselves on a very emotional level with someone out side the Marriage.
Pyro Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 This isa pretty good question. I have heard a new term That comes into play here. It is "emotional cheating." As I understand it Emotional Cheating is sharing yourself emotionally outside of your marriage. Your wife or husband doesn't know and is kept in the dark about this emotional bond that is developing between two people. ion my opinion two people just getting it on to satisfy some animal urge would be a lot less deviation then knowing your wife or husband was sharing themselves on a very emotional level with someone out side the Marriage. Good response Topper. There are indeed two extremes of cheating. IMHO, there is not one better/worse then the other. Cheating is cheating and it is the worse feeling in the world to have it happen to you.
Nostalgic Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 People know when they're cheating--they may gloss over their actions or try to sugar coat them (ie--"we just kissed..." )--but in their gut, they know. But I'll offer a definition: Getting involved w/ another person to any extent that you wouldn't want your SO to find out about. Big Hint: If you have to sneak to do it--ding, ding! unless you're sneaking out w/ a friend to charge excessive amount of shoes to your joint credit card...that's not cheating at all:D
Zaira Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 Cheating is a betrayal of trust in one's faithfulness. If they are separated it's not cheating.
aaa Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 Me and my husband are separated going on 6 months. He claims that he's not seeing anyone (lol) and that if I see someone it would be cheating
mopar crazy Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 Cheating is a betrayal of trust in one's faithfulness. If they are separated it's not cheating. Zaira, I have to disagree w/ this statement, sorry. A couple can be seperated but wanting to work on their M but they just need that time away from eachother to figure out what they truely want, the M, or not. My H's A w/ the exOW was an emotional A b4 it turned to a PA. During their EA I had no clue what was going on but when he said he wanted a D (but then having second thoughts after I kicked him out of our home). H wanted the OW but he wanted me too. He was a cake eater.
spicybrown Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 People know when they're cheating--they may gloss over their actions or try to sugar coat them (ie--"we just kissed..." )--but in their gut, they know. But I'll offer a definition: Getting involved w/ another person to any extent that you wouldn't want your SO to find out about. Big Hint: If you have to sneak to do it--ding, ding! unless you're sneaking out w/ a friend to charge excessive amount of shoes to your joint credit card...that's not cheating at all:D I agree also. Cheating is when you/your mate are giving their body, time, and energy into somebody, with emotions involved, without it benefitting the two of you. If there is a such thing as cheating, then we have to treat a relationship as a game. GO BY THE RULES!
JayKay Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 I think cheating is doing anything with another person that you wouldn't do in front of your spouse.
mopar crazy Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 I agree also. Cheating is when you/your mate are giving their body, time, and energy into somebody, with emotions involved, without it benefitting the two of you. If there is a such thing as cheating, then we have to treat a relationship as a game. GO BY THE RULES! Also agree. When you have to hide and/or lie about your relationship w/ the OP from your spouse or SO, then it is cheating. My H could of flat out told me he wanted the D, he wasn't happy, I wasn't happy, so he was going to find his happiness w/ the exOW. Instead he lied, and snuck around to be w/ her so I wouldn't find out. If he would of just told me he wanted to be w/ her, was in love w/ her, stopped communicating w/ me about working on us, and went on w/ his life w/o including me (well, we have children but he could include me but only b/c of the kids) then I wouldn't of considered it cheating. However, b4 he even told me the M was over and wanted a D he was having an EA w/ the OW, that is cheating.
Author Leid Posted October 14, 2005 Author Posted October 14, 2005 Thanks guys for your honest opinions! I think cheating is doing something w/out your mate's knowlege that if they found out would hurt them
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