Blondegirl89 Posted February 19, 2020 Posted February 19, 2020 I’m a little confused over the whole Situation. I’ve been dating this guy, or should I say I was. We had our first date and it went really really well. We talked for hours, we then where meant to have our second one which he cancelled twice due to work. I knew he was busy so I let it slide. He never texted or phoned or if he did text it would only be because I texted first. He kept blowin hot and cold. We where due to meet for a date but he cancelled saying he was stuck in work however my friends say him at a bar. I pulled him up on it and he lied saying he just got there even though I know otherwise. Anyway we had another date it went well, I asked if he would like to do it again and he said yes. We agreed to go to dinner. I texted him to see if was doing anything on Saturday as I hadn’t heard from him a 4 days and he said he was going away for the weekend. So I took it as a blow off and replied “oh nice, enjoy” to which he replied saying “you’re weird I would appreciate if you didn’t text me ever again” and blocked me. Now im no bunny boiler and I really just got the feeling he was playing games hence my reply. I just find it weird he blocked me. I wasn’t dramatic a little cold but that was because he was the one being as cold as ice. Wby do guys act like that? If he said sorry not feeling it or I don’t think this will work instead a nasty message and blocking.
preraph Posted February 19, 2020 Posted February 19, 2020 Those kind of guys are looking for a mild woman they don't have to explain things to. Like you said, he was already blowing hot and cold, so probably not all that into you or into someone else more. Block him from your phone and all social media because I'm sure for ego reasons, he'll look to see if you did or not. 1 2
Silver_star Posted February 19, 2020 Posted February 19, 2020 Move on from this guy. Be happy he didnt waste more of your time. He is likely seeing someone else casually and just doesnt want to explain, and has terrible manners. No loss for you. 2 1
Author Blondegirl89 Posted February 19, 2020 Author Posted February 19, 2020 Yes I agree, to be honest I wasn’t mad into him either but I was giving it a chance. I just find the name calling childish and immature. I didn’t block him just removed him from my profile and stopped following him etc he must have looked at them because he blocked me. Which seems very dramatic so I just don’t know. my last ex treated me bad but I let it slide so now I don’t let things or red flags slide but feel like because I’m standing my ground guys are becoming meaner. Anyone else ever exeperiance this? It’s like now that I know my worth guys think it’s ok to be mean because of it 1
Miss Spider Posted February 19, 2020 Posted February 19, 2020 (edited) The times I’ve blocked I just wasn’t interested and hated confrontation. However, this guy was confrontational. He might have felt you were too invested and overwhelming considering how little you knew each other. How did you know you were blocked Edited February 19, 2020 by Cookiesandough 2
stillafool Posted February 19, 2020 Posted February 19, 2020 (edited) 8 minutes ago, Blondegirl89 said: so now I don’t let things or red flags slide but feel like because I’m standing my ground guys are becoming meaner. How were you standing your ground? 30 minutes ago, Blondegirl89 said: He kept blowin hot and cold. When a man blows hot and cold you no longer call or text him and don't show up where he is after he's cancelled a date with you to be with his friends. You block him and move on, not the other way around. You certainly don't contact him for another blow date. Edited February 19, 2020 by stillafool 4 3
Author Blondegirl89 Posted February 19, 2020 Author Posted February 19, 2020 I was standing my ground by not allowing him to lie to me. To be honest he was busy with work so that’s why I gave him another chance however, I should be delighted I dodged a bullet. He only spoke about himself, never asked how I was or my day went and rarely texted. I just feel sad because he got nasty and I really don’t think I deserved it. 1
Author Blondegirl89 Posted February 19, 2020 Author Posted February 19, 2020 I also know he blocked me as you can tell on WhatsApp as the profile picture disappears. 1 1
smackie9 Posted February 19, 2020 Posted February 19, 2020 He kept cancelling on you, you caught him in a lie, he blew hot and cold, he never texted or phoned or if he did text it would only be because you texted first, then you don't hear from him for 4 days...... sounds to me there were plenty of red flags that you let slide. I would have given up after the first date, if a man doesn't initiate contact. 5 1
Calmandfocused Posted February 19, 2020 Posted February 19, 2020 1 hour ago, Blondegirl89 said: We where due to meet for a date but he cancelled saying he was stuck in work however my friends say him at a bar. I pulled him up on it and he lied saying he just got there even though I know otherwise. That was your red flag right there! However instead of writing him off as a liar and a flake you gave him the green light to carry on messing you about. Why? His behaviour screams disrespect. However unbeknown to him the fact he’s blocked you has done you a huge favour. Who cares why he said/ did that. He’s not worth your time. btw, in the future do not chase men who show you luke warm interest. It never ends well. 1
d0nnivain Posted February 19, 2020 Posted February 19, 2020 Who cares? This man was running hot & cold. He was lying to you. Him blocking you is just one more reinforcement to stay away from a guy who isn't worth your effort. Now that you are blocked even if you were tempted you can't get through. It's nothing you did. He's just odd. Move along. BTW, blocking isn't dramatic. It's just reinforcing that this was going no where. Leave him in your past. 2
stillafool Posted February 19, 2020 Posted February 19, 2020 41 minutes ago, Blondegirl89 said: I was standing my ground by not allowing him to lie to me. You rewarded him by going out with him again and then asking him for another date. 3 2
kendahke Posted February 19, 2020 Posted February 19, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, Blondegirl89 said: I pulled him up on it That's the reason why you got blocked. It set everything else into motion. When he blew you off, that was you cue to leave him alone and not keep throwing yourself at him. Edited February 19, 2020 by kendahke 4
Shanex Posted February 19, 2020 Posted February 19, 2020 Sorry you went through this but you’ve been far too patient for someone not worthy of the efforts. Also, no one ever block someone « for no reason ». Whether that was his ego or him being caught on a blatant lie is speculation from us but ultimately there was a reason for him to block you. I also understand you’re looking for advices here like many would because of such oddballs personalities but move on and find someone finally worth dating.
PinkFlamingo Posted February 19, 2020 Posted February 19, 2020 2 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: The times I’ve blocked I just wasn’t interested and hated confrontation. However, this guy was confrontational. He might have felt you were too invested and overwhelming considering how little you knew each other. How did you know you were blocked You are the kind of person who causes people to ask questions on Loveshack, so your input is quite valuable. 1
PinkFlamingo Posted February 19, 2020 Posted February 19, 2020 I got blocked various times in my life and every time I wonder why. My guess it, it boils down these guys were only looking for something easy and they just don't perceive you as a real person. Some people are also pretty good with compartmentalizing. Blocking is indeed the easiest way to get rid of someone and avoid discussion. And if I'm honest, I have also done it with people, probably mostly guys. Once, I met a guy when taking a walk alone because I had arrived early and was waiting for a friend. This guy was married, talking about his marital problems and me, being curious as always, listenend. In the end, he asked for my phone number. He was not my type, he was married, I hate it when people are unhappy with their relationship and use that as an excuse to approach me, and believe it or not, I gave it to him?! It's possible that I told him bluntly that I was not interested in married men, that he should have concentrate on his relationship with his wife, etc, I don't remember exactly, but for whatever reason I gave him my phone number. And then he send me messages, and of course I was zero interested in talking to him and I was already getting impatient. Then he said that he thought that I had been flirting with him (there was zero flirtatious banter going on, he was so not my type, and his marriage story made him even more unattractive, I just don't mind listening to people's stories if I'm not busy). I said, no, that it was a mistake on his side. And then I blocked him, because he seemed very, very deluded and I did not want to waste my energy on arguing with someone about his fantasies. 1
OpenBook Posted February 20, 2020 Posted February 20, 2020 4 hours ago, Blondegirl89 said: I just feel sad because he got nasty and I really don’t think I deserved it. Don't be sad! His nastiness and his other poor behavior says way more about him than it does about you. Of course you didn't deserve it. There's all kinds of people out there in the world. He was a jerk. Don't wear that! (how he treated you) It's not true. 1
carhill Posted February 20, 2020 Posted February 20, 2020 A healthy dating experience isn't hard, it flows. If it doesn't flow, let it go. 1 1
Ambereyes Posted February 20, 2020 Posted February 20, 2020 (edited) He thinks you are weird because you kept being nice and still texted him after he treated you like shyt. He wanted you to stop talking to him. He probably thinks if he doesnt block you, you will keep texting him Edited February 20, 2020 by Ambereyes 3 1 1
Gr8fuln2020 Posted February 20, 2020 Posted February 20, 2020 6 hours ago, Blondegirl89 said: I’m a little confused over the whole Situation. I’ve been dating this guy, or should I say I was. We had our first date and it went really really well. We talked for hours, we then where meant to have our second one which he cancelled twice due to work. I knew he was busy so I let it slide. He never texted or phoned or if he did text it would only be because I texted first. He kept blowin hot and cold. We where due to meet for a date but he cancelled saying he was stuck in work however my friends say him at a bar. I pulled him up on it and he lied saying he just got there even though I know otherwise. Anyway we had another date it went well, I asked if he would like to do it again and he said yes. We agreed to go to dinner. I texted him to see if was doing anything on Saturday as I hadn’t heard from him a 4 days and he said he was going away for the weekend. So I took it as a blow off and replied “oh nice, enjoy” to which he replied saying “you’re weird I would appreciate if you didn’t text me ever again” and blocked me. Now im no bunny boiler and I really just got the feeling he was playing games hence my reply. I just find it weird he blocked me. I wasn’t dramatic a little cold but that was because he was the one being as cold as ice. Wby do guys act like that? If he said sorry not feeling it or I don’t think this will work instead a nasty message and blocking. Honestly, this is all the signs of someone who wasn't interested in you and was hoping you'd let it go and fade away. You didn't, so he was annoyed. 2 1
Miss Spider Posted February 20, 2020 Posted February 20, 2020 18 minutes ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: Honestly, this is all the signs of someone who wasn't interested in you and was hoping you'd let it go and fade away. You didn't, so he was annoyed. Yes tbh the impression I got as well. The thing is, people will often try non confrontational methods to shake you off instead of rejecting or blocking, but a lot of people can’t read these things, I think. However, the person still feels like they’ve done all these things to get rid of the person and they should see they aren’t interested, but they aren’t being direct , so the person is holding on to the hope they just are busy or didn’t get the text etc But finally the person blows up. Now, I’m not saying what he did was right at all . It was actually, kind of odd and not constructive, he could have just blocked, but perhaps he just felt overwhelmed and snapped. It’s still rude. @PinkFlamingo I’m much better at these situations now but sometimes it’s necessary and for the best like what you did in your story by blocking that guy 1
CAPSLOCK CROOK Posted February 20, 2020 Posted February 20, 2020 A phone is not a vehicle to have a relationship through; just because you do not hear from him, does not mean he is going to float away. Yeah, he might of lied to you, but maybe he wanted some time to himself... Calling people out on lying is an ego thing and nothing else, nothing good ever comes of it, so when they lie, you either accept the lie for what it is, or cut ties. You couldn't accept the lie, because your friends were involved at this point and they would of lost respect for you if you did, another ego thing. I'm not saying lying is OK, but I am saying there is a particular way to handle the lie if you want to preserve what you have with the person.
Gr8fuln2020 Posted February 20, 2020 Posted February 20, 2020 24 minutes ago, CAPSLOCK CROOK said: A phone is not a vehicle to have a relationship through; just because you do not hear from him, does not mean he is going to float away. Yeah, he might of lied to you, but maybe he wanted some time to himself... Calling people out on lying is an ego thing and nothing else, nothing good ever comes of it, so when they lie, you either accept the lie for what it is, or cut ties. You couldn't accept the lie, because your friends were involved at this point and they would of lost respect for you if you did, another ego thing. I'm not saying lying is OK, but I am saying there is a particular way to handle the lie if you want to preserve what you have with the person. Sure, that would have been the "whatever" thing to do....replace "whatever" with what you like, but the OP did what is equally appropriate...calling this guy on his obvious lie. This guy may not have been comfortable, but he got what was not unexpected or inappropriate. A little taste of karma(?). Ego. Let's not talk about ego. This guy was FULL of himself for sure. Nah, this guy was all about manipulation and deflection. He called her 'weird' and then asked her to not text him...blocked. Sheesh... Her sarcasm got to him. He made her the villain to soothe his twisted ego. 1 1
Fletch Lives Posted February 20, 2020 Posted February 20, 2020 It's just normal rejection in dating. Sorry about that.
Legatus Posted February 20, 2020 Posted February 20, 2020 4 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: he could have just blocked, but perhaps he just felt overwhelmed and snapped. It’s still rude. Or he could have just said he wasn't interested. When did it become the norm that people are supposed to read cues, fade away, instead of trying to make honesty the norm or simple decency. It's his own fault. If he wasn't interested he could have said so without being a total douche.. 2
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